asnath Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 please help........, i have been going out with a very strict guy, i would at most be late by 5 or 10 minutes and he would FUME, i have always tried to be on time and believe me i did try my best. He started complaining about my availability, this is a guy i see only after 9 at night cause of his commmitments. i was tired of driving in the middle of the night to his place and i felt that at some point he is not compromising. so in a way i unvailed myself i know i was been spitful and it was not neccessary. During our conversation on thurday morning he said what i am doing is hurting him so badly i should give him a gurantee that the above problem i mentioned above will never ever happened again..............he gave me an ultimatum..........Asanth if something of this nature happens again i am out of this relationship, i felt that was harsh and he was been tough on me, so i told him am not prepared to be in a relatioship that i know that one mistake i am out, for me he wanted to instill fear inside of me and i was not prepared to accept that then i called it off. i sat down and thought about the whole thing, i then asked him if we cant give it a try......he said no, but then lastly he said if it happens we must start from a clean slate, as in we dont have a relationship and we must see if it cannot work out. so this is what i am asking............is it possible to work things out if the relationship has not been defined..............he is still reasssuring me that he still feels the same way he did and same here but how do we work this one out cos we are not even friends i dont do my friends.
amaysngrace Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 I think you should let him go. He's stressing you out. He's making a big deal over you being a few minutes late where if he truly cared, he'd be happy to see you when you walked through the door. Instead he greets you with an argument. Does he expect you to speed and risk an accident to see him? Does he really think so high of himself and so little of you to expect this? I wouldn't bother with him personally, but if you are to start anew, this would have to be one of the first things I'd demand from him: "Lighten up on my time. It's MY time, not YOURS".
D-Lish Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 ARe you telling me that you actually get in trouble for being late???? Is that what prompted the break up? Because you were late? This person sounds controlling, do you want to be controlled like that? Cut him loose, find yourself a man who respects you, and treats you like a human being, not a slave. You mentioned you know he tries to instill fear in you.... girl, that's heading toward abuse, if it's not already there. You should be with someone who makes you feel good... not fearful or stressed.
norajane Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 If he's so concerned about lateness, why doesn't he come visit you and be exactly on time all the time? He's sounds like a controlling, inconsiderate ass and not worth your time or trouble.
theadventure50120 Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 Say his watch is fast , piss him off lol.
Author asnath Posted November 14, 2006 Author Posted November 14, 2006 i got to trouble because of time factor gal, its not funny but it hurts so bad that my weaknesses can actually cause me i man i trully love. no i dont want to be controlled at all cost and wont accept it, will try my very best to move on "You should be with someone who makes you feel good... not fearful or stressed." Big up gal.........................., this quote worked magic
Author asnath Posted November 14, 2006 Author Posted November 14, 2006 ARe you telling me that you actually get in trouble for being late???? Is that what prompted the break up? Because you were late? This person sounds controlling, do you want to be controlled like that? Cut him loose, find yourself a man who respects you, and treats you like a human being, not a slave. You mentioned you know he tries to instill fear in you.... girl, that's heading toward abuse, if it's not already there. You should be with someone who makes you feel good... not fearful or stressed. i got to trouble because of time factor gal, its not funny but it hurts so bad that my weaknesses can actually cause me i man i trully love. no i dont want to be controlled at all cost and wont accept it, will try my very best to move on "You should be with someone who makes you feel good... not fearful or stressed." Big up gal.........................., this quote worked magic
Kamille Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Aaaaaah! I've read a few of your posts and all I can say is I've been there! For two years! It was exhausting. I could never do enough to prove I deserved his trust. And I never cheated on anyone. And I was so into him. He sometimes fumed when I showed up late, saying I made him look like an idiot. It was all about him. I stayed that long because he did offer a lot in other fields. And we ended up breaking up because I moved away to another city for my career and he couldn't handle it. He needed me there as a security blanket. Also, now I realize his ego and insecurities were in the way of a healthy relationship. Lately he approached me for a second chance. He wanted to find out if I would move back if he proposed!!! This never made it on LS because the anwer was so clear to me: No. I am happy he was a part of my life. I now also know I want something else in a life partner.
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