DaLuvAfterUrPain Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 I'm a 19 year-old virgin. I've been dating this since March...we aren't in a serious relationship, we just mess around. In May she asked if i want to have sex with her, i told her im saving myself for marriage. From that point on, everytime we see each other, or talk on the phone, she constantly telling me "you know you want to have sex with me, why don't you just give in". Its now November she says im not gonna stop until i get what i want. My brother even told her im waiting for marriage. and she said "he won't be waiting for long". Why would she do this if she really likes me? Does this mean she doesn't respect me nor like me?
ddnnee Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 you are one lucky guy. are you rich by any chance?
ShoeGirl Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 Don't let her pressure you into having sex! Wait until you are ready. If she doesn't want to wait then you should find a girl who will... believe me there are more girls out there wanting to wait then you can ever imagine. Some girl will appreciate your wanting to wait... I know I would!
norajane Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 She probably doesn't understand your reasons for waiting until marriage to have sex, doesn't respect your decision, or doesn't believe you. She also probably sees this as a challenge - to get you to overcome your beliefs for her. Or maybe she's driven by her ego - by making you change your beliefs for her, that "proves" she's hot. Whatever. You have every right to do what you want, including dumping her for her obnoxious behavior. Why do you want to hang around someone who's playing games with you?
hindsfeet Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 dude, if your waiting, is it because you are a christian? if so then i commend you and definitely do not wanna knock that. but what are your reasons for waiting. i understand trying to focus on purity and pursuing true intimacy in a relationship. the reason i ask if you are a christian is this.....if she is not, then she doesn't understand your convictions. you're both from different sides of the tracks. she knows how to express herself one way. while you express yourself differently. if your religion is not part of it and you just want that for yourself out of respect then thats kool too. either way of it, you need to be straight up with her. tell her where you are at. and that it is not easy for you. it is a commitment youve made to yourself. and that makes you who you are. that still doesnt ease the sexual tension. your a guy and she is a girl. your gonna wanna hit it. but explain to her that you may not be ready for that. like the extras that come along with sex, emotional baggage etc.... tell her that if she really likes you, then to prove it by respecting your decision and not makin it hard on you ( no pun intended there ). establish boundaries and dont cross them, that includes you. if you dont wanna hit it home dont start to run around the bases cause you'll find yourself at home before you know it. mad props to you for wanting to wait. i seriously wish i had done that. i'm recently divorced and what really played a big part of dampening my relationship was the fact that we had both had many partners before we got together. dude, it straight sucks to be with someone you love and them not be able to completely be with you because they are wondering if they compare to the previous person. stick your guns man!
Road Rage Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 You want to wait until marriage but you say you are just messing around. What does that mean? It seems to suggest that you re into what is called being a technical virgin. Doing everything but the deed. If so, then you are not really being honest with yourself or this girl. Waiting until marriage involves having a plan and being clear about it. No cheating:confused:
kandygirl Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 I think it's great that you're waiting. There's not many people out there that do. I know I wish I would have You're making the right decision. Don't give in to this girl. It sounds like she's only out for one thing.
theadventure50120 Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 Some girls like the virgin types , because you have nothing to compare them to so there going to be great anyway in there head , she probably just sees it as a challenge. If she kept bugging me saying it over and over again i would tell her where to go.
Guest Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 you are one lucky guy. are you rich by any chance? Lol. Nah im not rich, but alot of woman find me attractive and likes me even more when they find out im a virgin.
Guest Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 dude, if your waiting, is it because you are a christian? if so then i commend you and definitely do not wanna knock that. but what are your reasons for waiting. i understand trying to focus on purity and pursuing true intimacy in a relationship. the reason i ask if you are a christian is this.....if she is not, then she doesn't understand your convictions. you're both from different sides of the tracks. she knows how to express herself one way. while you express yourself differently. if your religion is not part of it and you just want that for yourself out of respect then thats kool too. either way of it, you need to be straight up with her. tell her where you are at. and that it is not easy for you. it is a commitment youve made to yourself. and that makes you who you are. that still doesnt ease the sexual tension. your a guy and she is a girl. your gonna wanna hit it. but explain to her that you may not be ready for that. like the extras that come along with sex, emotional baggage etc.... tell her that if she really likes you, then to prove it by respecting your decision and not makin it hard on you ( no pun intended there ). establish boundaries and dont cross them, that includes you. if you dont wanna hit it home dont start to run around the bases cause you'll find yourself at home before you know it. mad props to you for wanting to wait. i seriously wish i had done that. i'm recently divorced and what really played a big part of dampening my relationship was the fact that we had both had many partners before we got together. dude, it straight sucks to be with someone you love and them not be able to completely be with you because they are wondering if they compare to the previous person. stick your guns man! Yes i am a Christian. I truly believe that my body is the temple of the holy spirit and i believe that i only should lose my virginity to my wife. She's a christian also, thats the messed up part about it. I've told her over and over like almost everyday to be exact, and she still trying to get it out of me. I appreciate your advice man, thanks. I'll use that when i see her again
Guest Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 You want to wait until marriage but you say you are just messing around. What does that mean? It seems to suggest that you re into what is called being a technical virgin. Doing everything but the deed. If so, then you are not really being honest with yourself or this girl. Waiting until marriage involves having a plan and being clear about it. No cheating:confused: Im messing around with her meaning we are in a friends with benefits relationship.
norajane Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 Im messing around with her meaning we are in a friends with benefits relationship. That's confusing, because "benefits" means SEX.
lighthouse Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 I thought that FWB was when two people have no romantic feelings for each other but just want someone to have sex with? But you aren't having sex? So FWB means that you have no romantic feelings for her but are considering losing your virginity to her? If your virginity is that important to you then why would you even consider losing it to some chick that you don't really care about (based on the defintion of FWB that I know)? hmmmm. lighthouse
hindsfeet Posted November 14, 2006 Posted November 14, 2006 dude, if your playing the benefit card your making it hard on her to stay where she needs to be. she has a sex drive just like you do. if you really wanna play it properly. you gotta do it right. set your boundaries and dont cross them. getting as close as possible without going there is wrong also. i dont go to church cause im never home to go but i have a relationship with God ( mine is very new to me and im still learning) but is your mind and or thought process part of the temple? i know if anything get past kissing with me i know what im thinking about. im nowhere near a point to bark or preach or whatever but i know that i can either be a stepping stone to someone or a stumbling block to them. by pushing the boundaries, you can cause her to want to make you stumble. so technically you can stumble on yourself. if you expect her to respect you, respect yourself.
Green Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 you make no sense, if you guys are friends with benefits dont expect her to respect ur no sex thing. I may not know what I'm talking about but wouldnt just messing around with some girl for the sake of messing around be against ur religiouse beliefs to ?
lighthouse Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 you make no sense, if you guys are friends with benefits dont expect her to respect ur no sex thing. I may not know what I'm talking about but wouldnt just messing around with some girl for the sake of messing around be against ur religiouse beliefs to ? Makes sense to me KMT but I guess his definition of FWB is different from mine. lighthouse
IpAncA Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 Sounds like she's just messing around with you. You should know if she respects you or not right? You've been with her long enough to know.
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