loveinlife Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 So i have been talking to my ex. She tells me she still has feelings for me. The only problem is that she has a bf, which she and him have lots of problems. I still have feelings for her of course. I respect her. I told her if she decides to keep her current bf, best wishes for her bc i just want her to be happy. Seems like she can't make up her mind. I hanged out w her last weekend. She stayed at my house and we slept together. She is coming over again next weekend and we are prolly going to do the same things. I know she feels bad that we broke up and she realizes her mistakes. The problem, which i have come to analyzed is that she is afraid to come back to me bc she knows she broke my heart and my family won't accept her wrong doings. I haven't said this but, this girl was suppose to be the girl I was suppose to marry a year ago, as we have planned it out. I guess i feel troubled bc she still has a bf...and its leading nowhere... Hope you guys can give me some good advice... I love this girl very much but she gives me mixed signals... thanks for listening!
Rooster_DAR Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 I am going through the same thing with my EX and we have been together for five years. All I can suggest is be careful, women are like monkeys they won't let go of one branch unless they have a grasp of another. This kind of thing is happening a lot these days, they just simply want their cake. I'm sure there is probably some confusion in there on her end, but if you keep feeding into her game you are going to keep getting hurt. The fact that she's sleeping again with you while she's got this other guy should be a red flag for you. I would seriously think about twice about taking her back real quick, but instead tell her flat out you won't play second best. Lose the B/F, or lose me is what I would say. Regards,
LakesideDream Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 Things are not so "cut and dry" in a situation like this on. The only advice I can give you is guard your heart and emotions carefully. BTW Rooster... never heard it put better. Monkey's and branches!
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 The problem, which i have come to analyzed is that she is afraid to come back to me bc she knows she broke my heart and my family won't accept her wrong doings. This is an interesting, very common dilemna. The disapproving family, while I hate to admit it, usually knows best. They can see things that we don't see because we're so close to the situation. We're blinded by emotions, however the family members who love us are not wearing those same rose colored glasses and can see the whole picture very clearly. From what you've told us (especially the cheating), my gut says to run away from this girl very fast. Of course, it's easier said than done.
Rooster_DAR Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 I'm not like a monkey. A cougar maybe... LOL Sorry, I tend to generalize sometime.
Author loveinlife Posted November 13, 2006 Author Posted November 13, 2006 Thanks for all the feedback. I have to agree with you roodstar_dar about the monkey thing. I remember that from a post you did a long time ago. Tried dating another girl, about a month ago who did the same thing. Break w her bf and trying to cling to me. Good point buddy.
Author loveinlife Posted November 13, 2006 Author Posted November 13, 2006 Thanks for all the feedback. I have to agree with you roodstar_dar about the monkey thing. I remember that from a post you did a long time ago. Tried dating another girl, about a month ago who did the same thing. Break w her bf and trying to cling to me. Good point buddy.
Art_Critic Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 Hanging out with her and spending time with her while she is with another guy isn't going to change the outcome and win her over.. Instead you need to tell her flat out that you can't have anything to do with her until she dumps the other guy.. You are only going to get your feelings hurt more when she tells you that she is still boinking the other guy but she still has feelings for you..
D-Lish Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 I'm not offended by generalizations Rooster! I agree with most of the advice here. You're making yourself to available to your ex my friend. At this point and time she knows you're waiting in the wings for her, she can have you anytime she wants. That's not a challenge for her, nor is it going to force her to make any kind of decision. If I were you, I would pull away. Go into no contact mode with her. I don't recommend no contact for every break up, but in your situation it is the right thing to do. She can't miss you when you are still present in her life.
Author loveinlife Posted November 15, 2006 Author Posted November 15, 2006 Hanging out with her and spending time with her while she is with another guy isn't going to change the outcome and win her over.. Instead you need to tell her flat out that you can't have anything to do with her until she dumps the other guy.. You are only going to get your feelings hurt more when she tells you that she is still boinking the other guy but she still has feelings for you.. You are right Art_Critic. Thanks for the response. I'm not offended by generalizations Rooster! I agree with most of the advice here. You're making yourself to available to your ex my friend. At this point and time she knows you're waiting in the wings for her, she can have you anytime she wants. That's not a challenge for her, nor is it going to force her to make any kind of decision. If I were you, I would pull away. Go into no contact mode with her. I don't recommend no contact for every break up, but in your situation it is the right thing to do. She can't miss you when you are still present in her life. That true D-Lish. I wish I was stronger and do the right thing for me. I am working at that at the moment.
D-Lish Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 Just take it one day at a time sweet pea... It's hard to find strength during a time like this. Keep super busy to keep your mind off of it. You'll find your strength. :-)
Author loveinlife Posted November 30, 2006 Author Posted November 30, 2006 Fast forward a month since my last post. Saw my ex two weeks ago. She stayed at my house again for 4 days. Everything went well except a few minor arguements. At the end of her visit she told me she was really stressed out. She also needs time to think things through and ask me to wait for her until is ready to come back w/o telling me a time frame. Ex wants some space and doesn't want me to call bc she is so busy w everything. I feel like a doormat. One of my friend who is a girl tells me its understandable to give a girl space. What do you guys/girls think?
Rooster_DAR Posted November 30, 2006 Posted November 30, 2006 Fast forward a month since my last post. Saw my ex two weeks ago. She stayed at my house again for 4 days. Everything went well except a few minor arguements. At the end of her visit she told me she was really stressed out. She also needs time to think things through and ask me to wait for her until is ready to come back w/o telling me a time frame. Ex wants some space and doesn't want me to call bc she is so busy w everything. I feel like a doormat. One of my friend who is a girl tells me its understandable to give a girl space. What do you guys/girls think? Same issues here, she says she wants to do everything to regain my trust and that I am her true love, yet when I go to her the whole story changes again. I finally got tired of it and ended all last night. I am not going to stand around and be insulted and a doormat anymore. I am going to find myself a woman who does not need to play this bull**t. Regards,
Author loveinlife Posted November 30, 2006 Author Posted November 30, 2006 Rooster_Dar, I have read your other posts and I can tell that we have our similarities. Why can't they make up their minds like we could? This question should be left for the dumpers who stick around and has a relationship w someone else. Perhaps they are attractive and have options =**( I wish you well Rooster_Dar. Hope everything goes your way. ----------------- Where's is The_Alchemyst?
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