miss snoopy Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 OK.. I'm doing NC now but there are a few things I keep going over and over in my mind. I got access to my ex's emails and I noticed that he used to send loads of kisses (xxxxx) to his ex and was very affectionate to her in emails (as was she to him) when they dated, but even when they broke up, he'd send up to 5 kisses to her (including when he was going out with me) At the peak of our relationship the most I ever got was 3, which is his standard signature to female friends (male friends get none) The first time we split up he stopped the kisses altogether. It just hurts me that, for e.g. he sends 5 kisses to his ex the same day he emails me and sends 3 kisses. I know I didn't start off being affectionate in my emails with him, but the few times I did, his returned affection seemed forced, whereas it flowed so easily with this other girl (who was very loving to him in her emails) His affection to her seems to have lessened now, but my big paranoia and what led to us splitting up (I didn't tell him this) is how he was (and still is) to her in emails and how I dont feel he's anything like that to me. I just sensed this lack of warmth from him when we were dating, like he was writing to a friend - but his emails to the ex who is supposed to be the "friend" are more intimate! I'm not sure what I'm asking but it's good to let it all out. I did ask him once why he only sends me a few kisses and he said it's because he gets to give me real ones...
magichands Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 Just be thankful that you're not overanalysing things. One day I found seven needles in a haystack!!
Author miss snoopy Posted November 12, 2006 Author Posted November 12, 2006 Just be thankful that you're not overanalysing things. One day I found seven needles in a haystack!! LOL, I actually think I'm overanalyzing this! But my therapist said the problem with snooping and stuff is you are only an onlooker to someone else's relationship, for all I know early in their relationship she demanded more kisses and got upset when they weren't forthcoming, so he automatically makes a point to include them? It just hurts as I feel the reason we broke up was because he just wasn't that into me, hence the max 3 kisses... but then the same could apply to her as he broke up with her too despite all the kisses (and is making no plans to restart their relationship)?
theadventure50120 Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 Yeah it's a bit stupid but i noticed that to. I got about 6 or more , near the end i got 3 , then a couple of days before we finished i got 1 , and lack of talking on msn also. I saw it coming a mile off , had about 3 dreams also lol. Most my dreams happen It just shows lack of interest , meaning they simple cant be bothered to give more kisses But i wouldn't go into my ex's email account or any of her things.
Author miss snoopy Posted November 12, 2006 Author Posted November 12, 2006 Yeah it's a bit stupid but i noticed that to. I got about 6 or more , near the end i got 3 , then a couple of days before we finished i got 1 , and lack of talking on msn also. I saw it coming a mile off , had about 3 dreams also lol. Most my dreams happen It just shows lack of interest , meaning they simple cant be bothered to give more kisses But in my case even at our most loved up, all I ever got was 3... he certainly was very interested then! Maybe there's no pattern but the only person who ever got more than 4 was this ex. His parents and some close relatives occasionally got 4. But I never got more than 3 - sometimes 2, sometimes 1, sometimes none. The fewest miss ex has ever got is 2! By the way, I used to send him anything from none to 5, so it's not like I have a consistent pattern myself!
Author miss snoopy Posted November 12, 2006 Author Posted November 12, 2006 But i wouldn't go into my ex's email account or any of her things. Yeah, serves me right, what you don't know can't hurt you. The problems in this relationship stem from this email snooping, as they just fed my paranoia. Intimacy and closeness doesn't happen overnight and who knows where we'd be now if I hadn't done that...
magichands Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 Intimacy and closeness doesn't happen overnight and who knows where we'd be now if I hadn't done that... Welcome to LoveShack.
theadventure50120 Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 Yeah what you don't know can't hurt you. Well when it happened to me i just kept sending the same back , or just signed off early on into the convo and she would phone me and ask where i went to. I say msn messed up.
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