Author pricillia Posted November 17, 2006 Author Posted November 17, 2006 the longer you continue to talk to him the harder it will be for you to leave. MM that have affairs have a way of keeping their OW hanging on. He will make promises to you that he won't keep and he will rob you of the chance to have a real relationship with someone else. You are giving him precious time when you know he has no intention of leaving his wife. Why? I understand your concern, If I had a friend that was doing this I would say the same thing. The funny thing is he never made any promises to me. I am talking with him but I have not agreed to see him like before. But you are right it is robbing me of having feelings for a single available man!
puddleofmud Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 The funny thing is he never made any promises to me. I am talking with him but I have not agreed to see him like before. But you are right it is robbing me of having feelings for a single available man! Robbing you of your ability to have feelings for another may be the least of your problem--do you need another man to leave him? Or can you accept responsiblity for yourself and the damage this is causing YOU and walk away, pronto? I say this gently because I understand that you had already invested yourself in him emotionally before he dropped the big bomb on you, thus you are having a hard time accepting that the emotional connection has ended. He has put in in a very lonely place, indeed, and is obviously a master manipulator. How would you respond to someone on the street who punched you in the face? (This really is no different even if it is an emotional assault as compared to a physical one.) You would RUN as fast as you could, get to a place of safety, get help from somewhere else (not the person who punched you!), nurse your wound, and learn how to protect yourself. Would you give that person your phone number? Heck No! Would you wish to engage that person in conversation? Nope! Refocus your thoughts and think of him as the person who punched you flat out causing you to bleed. Do you really want to talk to someone who did that to you?
Author pricillia Posted November 17, 2006 Author Posted November 17, 2006 Hi Puddle, I understand what you are saying, I am not lonely, I have friends and family that are in my life, I think it is him that is lonely.
puddleofmud Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 That is what a Master of Manipulation would have you think....because he IS terrified of being alone. Believe me he is the one who thinks he is soooo lonely (that kind actually believe their own lies) and most likely is already looking for someone else to fulfill his desparate needs and or already has another "victim" waiting. Men like this usually have a woman coming in the back door as soon as the other goes out the front.
Author pricillia Posted November 17, 2006 Author Posted November 17, 2006 That is what a Master of Manipulation would have you think....because he IS terrified of being alone. Believe me he is the one who thinks he is soooo lonely (that kind actually believe their own lies) and most likely is already looking for someone else to fulfill his desparate needs and or already has another "victim" waiting. Men like this usually have a woman coming in the back door as soon as the other goes out the front. Look just to clarify, I am not a victim, and he did not tell me that he was lonely, I just know that he is. He never complains about his wife. He never makes any promises. I care about him because he is a human being. I know that he is not honest, at this point I am dealing with my feelings and emotions the best that I can, and being a member here is helping.
puddleofmud Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 From your posts you seem to be such a lovely person. You sound like someone who would be such a great and loyal friend because you are deeply empathetic. The world is a better place because of persons such as yourself. You should be adored and considered precious! Write that phrase down until your writing hand cramps. Hugs to you!
NoIDidn't Posted November 17, 2006 Posted November 17, 2006 Priscilla, This is my first time posting on this thread and I admit that I have not even read it - other than the last two posts. You do seem like a very sensitive person, and I offer this just for your consideration. It sounds like you have decided to save this man from something. But you can't. Only he can. And it isn't his W. Its him. Its all inside him right now. He has done and said things to you that reveal that he is just not a very nice person a lot of the time. A person like this is an emotional vampire. He will suck you dry. Your youth/vitality in life will be lost to him if you let that happen. I have seen many a beautiful woman turned physically ugly and haggard behind a man like this. The constant push and pull with him will eventually wear you out. You have a big heart. He does not. You cannot save him. Stop trying. Find out why this kind of man appeals to you and address that issue. I guarantee you, from my own personal experience, that you will then meet a man worthy of that heart of yours.
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