ryuyasha Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 I was wondering if anyone on this forum, or anyone they might now have ever been in a long relationship that possibly ended due to their significant other wanted to see other people/experience other relationships, had that SO date another, and then return to them? I've been given a little more information on my own personal situation and feel that this is whats going on with me. I'm just curious if anyone has been in that type of situation or any comments etc. thanks (p.s excuse my bad writing skills ;p)
magichands Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 I was wondering if anyone on this forum, or anyone they might now have ever been in a long relationship that possibly ended due to their significant other wanted to see other people/experience other relationships, had that SO date another, and then return to them? That hasn't happened to me, but I have seen more than a few threads along those lines. People are expecting the grass to be greener, and it's not. So their perspective gets an adjustment, and you don't seem quite so bad after all. It's not very nice to be treated like that, though. "I thought there was someone better out there, but I'm not having much luck. So how about we get back together? I think I could settle for you...unless someone better comes along." Your writing is great. Much better than my second language (I don't even have one!).
vanButterfly Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 Yes - it was me who wanted to experience other people. I was with my first love from 17 to 23, and then I felt I had to move on (met someone else). Looking back (I'm 29 now) I see that I made a mistake, but I couldnt tell that then. He gave me one chance to come back, and even asked me to marry him. Anyway, in the end he didnt want me back and he got married 9 months later. I thought the grass was greener and I sure was wrong. Thank goodness for that relationship though - now I try and fix issues in the current relationship. Anyway - anything is possible..just because there is someone else, it doesnt mean they wont come back in the end. If you are meant to be together you will - and that depends on if you cant be without each other.
Author ryuyasha Posted November 12, 2006 Author Posted November 12, 2006 First, thanks for the replies Second...i guess as far as my situtation goes, my friend just brought to to my attention that my ex had cold feet, was intrested in being with other people. I just wish he wouldve been upfront about this with me instead of breaking it off and leaving me to guess his actions. I guess part of me can undertsnad his curiosity since were both only 21 and have been together since we were 15 with no other relationships. Its been almost 3 months of NC (go me, its hard lol), and i'm not sure what his relationsihp with this othe person is. I guess i'll post a portion of the conversation my friend showed me just so maybe you guys can help give a perspective. I;ve changed around the names for privacy sake but my ex is 'ex', my friend is 'friend' and any mention of me is under 'ryuyasha' (creative isnt it). Ex(12:41:16 PM): my family is full of divorce and I don't think that's the way to go unless its necessary. If I marry ryuyasha, I want to feel 100% about it, you know? Ex (12:41:26 PM): I feel more like 50% about it Ex (12:41:28 PM): :-\ Friend (12:42:00 PM): your scared of dissapointing her Ex (12:42:04 PM): maybe Friend (12:42:06 PM): and yourself Ex (12:42:10 PM): you know how you and rachel were talking about sex with other people? how would it feel? Well I dont care about that but Ex (12:42:20 PM): Im more interested in relationships with other people Ex (12:42:23 PM): how would they make me feel Ex (12:42:32 PM): what kind of person would they make me be Ex (12:42:37 PM): that kind of curiosity Friend (12:42:48 PM): ryuyasha doesn't make you happy? Ex (12:42:51 PM): she does Ex (12:42:55 PM): yes she does Ex (12:43:07 PM): I think in reality shes the best person in the world for me Ex (12:43:48 PM): and I make her happy. how rare is that? I mean I really make her happy ------ Friend (12:59:05 PM): so your worried that you haven't met enough people to know that Ryuyasha is the one you're looking for? Ex (12:59:19 PM): see that makes it sound so bad Ex (12:59:37 PM): but I guess that's a factor Friend (12:59:40 PM): the truth is a very ugly thing Ex (12:59:47 PM): god. I know she doesn't feel that way Ex (12:59:55 PM): everytime I think something like that I feel like such an ******* Friend (1:00:15 PM): facing the truth is one of the toughest things a person can do Ex (1:00:38 PM): well before I face something hard like that I need to be sure it is the truth Ex (1:00:44 PM): I'm not sure it is. Friend (1:00:54 PM): one of the things that makes it so had is figureing out if that really is the truth Ex (1:01:06 PM): I wish Ryuyasha felt the same way I do Friend (1:01:19 PM): and how do you really feel? Ex (1:01:21 PM): the weird thing is, if I felt she were less certain about me, I think I would be more certain about her Friend (1:02:08 PM): maybe she is the pillar of strength that you need Ex (1:02:31 PM): huh? Ex (1:02:38 PM): how do you mean? Friend (1:03:05 PM): why would you be more certain about her if she was less certain about you? Ex (1:03:14 PM): I have no idea Ex (1:03:17 PM): pretty ****ed up isn't it Friend (1:04:39 PM): that brings us to how do you really feel about Ryuyasha Ex (1:05:54 PM): she's the best person out there for me. we're happy and have fun and get along. and I'm not gonna go thinking or saying things I don't really mean because I'm in some kind of emotion mess. Ex (1:06:30 PM): at a very fundamental level, I would be miserable without her. I'm sure of it Ex (1:06:52 PM): allowing myself to lose ashley would be the biggest mistake of my life Friend (1:06:58 PM): your afraid of "what if i married Ryuyasha " Ex (1:07:31 PM): hah, yeah, what if ...well, the im was a bit long...but yeah. Uh, this conversation happened about 20 days before we broke up, if thats a factor at all.Um, i guess thoughts etc would be cool any even reply to my first post would be awesome too.
magichands Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 Ex (1:01:21 PM): the weird thing is, if I felt she were less certain about me, I think I would be more certain about her What a screwed-up thing to say! That he needs to feel that you are a challenge??!! The thrill of the chase?? Ugh.
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