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Posted

Hello

OK, i need advice. Its a very strange situtation, but here goes. Ok, my best friend is married to my ex boyfriend, we didn't talk for 7 years because of it, but I got over it & we are friends again. She tried to set me up with her ex boyfriend, which i ran into & he asked me out on his own.

 

Ok, he is 35 years old, tall, very handsome

- owns his own house

- owns & rents out a penthouse

- owns a shore house

- owns a boat

- is a Vice President of a VERY famous billion dollar company in NY. (i rather not mention the name)

 

Ok here comes the BUT............. he smokes pot every other day.

He has been smoking it ever since my best friend was dating him & that was 13 years ago. When I asked him about it he said " i have a very good career & if i have a stressful day, there is nothing wrong with coming home & smoking a joint, its not hurting anyone"

 

I am not a fan of any kind of drugs. So what do i do, blow him off right away knowing this up front?? or do i just date him & take it day by day to see what happens, since i'm not gonna marry him tomorrow. Any advice?

Posted

Forget it. If you have an issue with pot, this relationship will never work.

 

There are people who consider pot as a recreational relaxer, like alcohol. Yes, pot is illegal, but otherwise, the idea behind their smoking pot is the same as the idea behind drinking a glass or two of wine after work. It's not more immoral, evil, or debilitating for them.

 

If you see it differently, then you and he are not going to work out in the end.

Posted

think about the money and the dresses you can buy. so what if its a little pot, but you get to drive around in a mercedes! wow. oh and you also get your bestfriend's left overs and we all know that's fun. oh ya, since your bestfriend knows your ex and you know her ex, maybe a group orgy can spice things up with some pot.

 

-if i were you, i would.

Posted

he is 35 years old, tall, very handsome

- owns his own house

- owns & rents out a penthouse

- owns a shore house

- owns a boat

- is a Vice President of a VERY famous billion dollar company in NY. (i rather not mention the name)

 

dont take this the wrong way please.

are you more into materialism and glam or love? there are plenty of people out there with success. but what kinda people are they?

 

im 28, i own 4 different vehicles, 25 acres of land and a 4300 sq ft house, i have 6 rental properties, and i work like 150 days out of the year. the rest of time i goof off.

 

what im getting at is that there are plenty of people with a lot of material stuff. material does matter to an extent. but what about how you feel about him. if hes into drugs, you'll never be # 1 to him i promise. the buzz will be # 1.

 

i would look elsewhere unless your into what he's into. if not you'll be stuck somewhere in a big @ $$ house all alone feeling used and second best to a habit.

Posted

Hello

Yes i see what u mean. I didn't mean for my post to come across materialistic, cause i am not. I was just trying to show u what a great job & how successful this man was but the pot part bothers me. I rather him be an average joe & not smoke the pot, that would be great.

 

No i know i will never be #1, his pot will always, hes' been doing it for 13 years now, & i doubt he'll stop because of me.

Posted

Just a thought guest, smoking pot continuosly is one sign of an addictive personality. so many people do not understand that addiction is a lifelong process. I know someone who only drank alcohol and handled it well until 42. At which time he decided to try just a little cocaine. Straight downhill into total crack and meth addiction from there. That`s been 12 years ago now and no signs of any end in sight.

 

So chose well dear one, if it were me I would run like hell!

Posted

ok...

 

he seems to have his life together - so the pot must not be doing too much damage.

 

i would be more concerned about your pasts, him being your gf's ex.

personally, I think it's friendcest - there will be problems involving history sooner or later, and no matter how much you and your friends deny that they care, it will come back and bit you in the arse.

 

if friendcest doesn't bother you, then I can't imagine a little pot hurting that much. if it gets to a point where you're annoyed by his recreational use, then you leave - no biggie.

Posted

I'd say, go to Vegas and wait until he's high, then elope while he's completely out of it... as long as there's no prenup, you'll be set for life :)

Posted

thats weird b/c i know this guy thats been trying to get with me for a few years now. hes a very successful man, owns his own company, lives in a very nice area, drives a nice car. everyone thats gonna read this is probably gonna be like why in the hell wont you get with this guy lol, but i have my reasons. anyways.... he smokes pot also like your guy. I HATE DRUGS even a little pot bothers me. But he does it in his own house, and only does it like on the weekends or at night i guess. What im trying to say is if it really bothers you and you dont think you can get over him smoking it around you or in general then it probably wont work out. Now if you think you can get over it and tolerate it, then atleast talk to him about it. Hey as long as hes doing it under his roof and isnt hurting one in the process then i would leave him be. Im sure his job is stressful like he says, hey he can be doing other drugs that are even worse, pot isnt that bad. take it day by day, but talk to him maybe he'll cut down for you, cuz im sure hes not going to quit for you. If he does then he really really cares for you - good luck

Posted

Generally speaking, pot means nothing. It is not more or less harmful than any other latent addictions to which the entire world population is susceptible -such as alcohol or smoking in general. Point is, we are not "generally speaking". If Jo Moe who hates alcohol had met an otherwise gorgeous lady who must consume whiskey on a nightly basis - it will make the bonding all too difficult. At end-of-day -- it is a balance question -- how much does the pot weigh on the negative side, compared to all the great stuff on the positive side? We all make this mental balancing constantly.

Posted

hey im in new york till feb. i dont smoke pot :p

-hindsfeet

Posted

Personally, I would prefer someone who smoked a little pot, than someone who drinks, but thats me. He doesnt sound like the typical description of a real pothead, he sounds as though he has his stuff together. On the other hand, as Nora Jane said, if you have a problem with it, then it is going to be difficult, as you say, you cannot possibly expect him to change that for you.

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