fatty Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 Hey, Here i the situation. I like this gir, I am freinds with her. I am forcing myself not to like her because I know the feelings are not reciprocated. Her birthday is coming up on dec 4th. When we first started hanging out, we used to chill in the summer. She always mentioned how she loves to watch the stars. I only know her for the past 5 months and we are cool freinds. I was thinking of getting her a package of glow in the dark stars. Would this be creepy, how could I give this to her without making it awkward. "hey this one time you said you liek the stars and I remembered" - this would creepy as hell. Ladies tell me what is a subtle way of doing this.
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 If you two are buddies (friends) then there should be no reason NOT to buy her the glow in the dark stickers. Just do it! But, don't explain yourself, don't make a big production out of it. Buy a card too, and inside the card just write "I thought you would like these stickers! Happy Birthday!"
melodymatters Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 Yeah, chicks like presents, no doubt, just keep it real cool and casual. You just seem sweet though, so don't set yourself up expecting more than friendship. As a friend gift, it's great, i don't want to see you hurt when she cries on your shoulder telling you how her abusive alcoholic BF treated her like sh*t, under YOUR stars....
Author fatty Posted November 12, 2006 Author Posted November 12, 2006 Hey, It is funny you mention that. I am in an awkward position riht now. I am her shoulder to cry on with man she likes but cant get. It hurts soo much because I like her and can give her what she wants but she doesnt see it. I am thinking of completely cutting her off because i) I like her and it is wrong because she is getting over someone ii) It hurts soo much everytime I am done hangging out with her because I feel soo lonely. We hangout, it starts off fun then she starts crying and I give her the shoulder to lean on. I am not saying I am not there for her but I feel so alone because I have feelings for her and feel so alone afterwards. I dont know what to do.
melodymatters Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 yeah, It's a pretty typical scenario, thats why I mentioned it. As for what you should do, you need to make a decision on whether her friendship is worth it with no romantic future, or not, only you can decide that. BUT, the only person we CAN change, is ourself. You are using the SN "fatty", are you overweight ? If so, why don't you work on getting yourself into shape, put energy into learning a new skill, excelling at school, whatever it is that will make YOU a better stronger person. Who knows, maybe after she see's your strength and confidence she WILL beome attracted to you, or maybe you won't even want her anymore ! All change comes from within. Good luck !!! Melody
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 As I was reading your thread, the first thing that popped into my mind was, "Please don't tell me you're thinking of buying a star (an actual star in the sky) and naming it after her.... Thankfully you did not! I like your idea of the glow in the dark stars. That would be a cool gift to get from a guy.
alphamale Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 As I was reading your thread, the first thing that popped into my mind was, "Please don't tell me you're thinking of buying a star (an actual star in the sky) How much would a garden variety class G yellow-orange star go for? $120 Trillion? that may be a bit too much to spend on just a friend.
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 How much would a garden variety class G yellow-orange star go for? $120 Trillion? that may be a bit too much to spend on just a friend. I should have used the word "name" instead of "buy," but naming stars for a gift isn't that unheard of. You seem like a very romantic, sentimental, charming young man so I'll include the address so you too can name a star after that special someone(s) http://www.starregistry.com/ (I think it costs only $50! At that price why not buy two?)
alphamale Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 http://www.starregistry.com/ (I think it costs only $50! At that price why not buy two?) yeah i know what it is...i was just joking around. actually the whole thing is a big scam because the actual scientific astronomical name of the star does not change. it just gets registered under a seperate registry that is run by the company and they send you a dumb certificate. you can't even see the damn star cause its like 50,000 light years away. you'd barely be able to see it with the Hubble Space Telescope. What a gyp man!!!
ddnnee Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 dont spend a penny on her until your feelings are reciprocated. she could very well be getting boned from a biker without you knowing.
Spinderella Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 Ask yourself why you are buying the gift. If it is coming from a genuine place of friendship with no desire to romance her, then do it. If not dont do it. You will never get out of the friends zone if you give too much. You are already being her shoulder to cry on. All this is very lovely, but if you want more than friendship and are aiming for that, then it wont happen this way. If you acknowledge you have feelings but are happy to be friends forevermore and nothing more, then that is one thing, but if you really cannot handle the friendship without it progressing into more then you have to ask yourself why you are hanging around. How do you know that the feelings are not reciprocated btw? Have you already spoken about this with her?
Author fatty Posted November 13, 2006 Author Posted November 13, 2006 Hey, Thanks for the responses. I just recently came under alot of stress so did not respond. But anywho, The thing about feelings not bieng reciprocated is due to the fact that I know I have no chance in hell with her. I am not saying this pointing at me and my insecurities but its just the fact. She has certain criteria's for men which I know and dont fit. I will not change her to like or change myself so she does like me. The notion of getting a gift. I am a hopeless romantic sentimental guy. I love doing romantic things. I thought about your question "If I am getting it for non genuine reasons" and hte truth is my intentions are not genuine. In a way I wish she would notice that I remembered how much she loved the stars and would think I am the most romantic person in the world. Then her eyes would twinkle with a tear and she would kiss me. hahahahah Back to reality. I guess I am way too much a romantic/emotional guy for any girl to like. BAH!! someday someone will like me for me. But I guess with this girl I just have to give little now. It makes sense that I give alot. If she has anyproblem I am there for her in a matter of a second without giving her a chance to say no. Other gesture follow the same. But yea, and its not cool to like a girl who is going through an emotional time, she needs a freind not someone who is interested in her. That is why I avoid her at university so I dont give any sort of impression that I like her.
Spinderella Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 hahahahah Back to reality. I guess I am way too much a romantic/emotional guy for any girl to like. BAH!! someday someone will like me for me. But I guess with this girl I just have to give little now. It makes sense that I give alot. If she has anyproblem I am there for her in a matter of a second without giving her a chance to say no. Other gesture follow the same. Not at all! I am a female and I love romantic guys. BUT wait until you get someone romantically interested before you start being romantic with them, if you want to get somewhere. But yea, and its not cool to like a girl who is going through an emotional time, she needs a freind not someone who is interested in her. That is why I avoid her at university so I dont give any sort of impression that I like her. It is very lovely that you are so considerate, but, be considerate to yourself also. It is great that you do not want to take advantage of her needy time, and shows what a great guy you are. BUT denying your own feelingsis never a good idea. Self protection is a good idea, because you say this friendship hurts you, perhaps you SHOULD distance yourself slightly, or accept it for what it is.
Author fatty Posted November 14, 2006 Author Posted November 14, 2006 Hey, Some great advice. Yea I am looking out for myself and tell myself that someone will like me for me. But it will happen when it does happen. No need for me to feel inadequate or insecure. Somone will find me someday hehe. I am distancing myself now, not too much but as a regular freind would. I act as I would with anyother freind and contain my feelings inside. anywho thanks guys!
Benji86 Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 I bought a special someone a star....it was a really cool thing. too bad that it didnt work out between us, but atleast she has a star in her name for some time to come, right?
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