Quit Before The Miracle?

[lone she-wolf]

I have a male friend, whom I've been "seeing where it goes" with for 6 months or so.

We have not slept together, or even kissed, but have been feeling each other out for a while.

The way I have begun to feel about him is........pressing.

 

So, this guy is admitidly a flake, and has canceled a few significant "dates" with me. He has however, shown-up on just as many.

This person has been in a constant financial struggle since we've met.

The get-togethers were on a roll for about a month when he lost his job.

Shortly after, he asked me to embark on a music project, which would involve us meeting weekly, to record music.

 

The music sessions went on weekly, as planned, for about 6 weeks and he presented himself to be VERY excited about what we were doing (musically speaking). There has been flirting from him, but more-so when he has been drinking.

 

I am an above-adverge looking woman, with experience, patience, kindness, music-skill and a sexy disposition.

HOWEVER, I am slightly over-weight. I carry it well, am tone and have a great rack. I am mentioning this only for those reading to "get the picture" and also know that, all said and done, I'm still overweight and I'm aware that this COULD be a deal-breaker for SOME guys.

 

 

The last time that we got together for music, he walked me to my car and said that he wanted to say something.

He said "I'm just gonna say it fast, then walk away". I draped myself across my open car-door, looked him in the eyes and said "what is it sweetie?"

He then looked at me like, what I can only explain as.........confusion, frustration and maybe hurt?

He then abruptly said "No, I'm not gonna use words." Then he walked away.

I called after him to "Spit it out". He shook his head and continued walking.

 

 

That was three weeks ago. I have called him ONCE and sent ONE text. He replied to both, a whole day later, with VERY brief phone-calls, where he said he was "REAL BUSY" with "X" and "Y", but he REALLY wanted to get together and play music or go to "X" event or "Y" movie with me. BOTH phone-calls consisted of him telling me that he would call me the following day, which he did not, either time.

 

The advice I need, may not be what you are thinking, and believe me, I really want advice.

The thing is, although we are technically "just friends", in these 3 weeks, I have gone from feeling GREAT(because of the almost speech at my car), to WORRIED about his well-being (because he fell off the radar) and finally, I am now at ANGER, which is where I need your advice....................................

 

I know he will eventually call (I will no longer call him at this point) and my question is........

Do I let him have it? I know many would say to just let it go and "move on" which is an option, but my fear is that ignoring the situation MORE, will just leave questions un-answered. SO, I have AT LEAST decided that the very next time he calls, I will AT LEAST let him know of my feelings, but the question remains of weather to express my true anger towards him. If I do this, I may get worked-up enough to REALLY tell him off and be done with the "friendship".

 

I am really on the fence here because if I remain "kind", I may be able to coax something out of him.

I really do want to explore something, outside of "friends" with this person, but after ALL THIS........I'm just mad.

 

So the question is weather to UNLEASH, VANISH or take a MIDDLE GROUND (which is what we have both been doing for months). BTW, I know the easiest thing to do would be to just go, "do you like me or what?"

Somehow, that just does not seem right at this stage.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read.

[norajane]

Take the high road. You generally feel better about yourself and the way you leave things when you take the high road.

 

Accept that this isn't going anywhere - how can it with a guy who can't even work up enough nerve to speak a few words, regardless of what those words are? There's no need to devote more time to the chase. No need to unleash, either. Pity him for being another broken human among many.

[lone she-wolf]

thank you. really

[chrisy484]

hun, really if this guy hasnt made the move on you yet and is just giving off mixed signals, dont waste anymore of your time. if he cant even get up enough courage to tell you how hes feeling and leave you hanging like that without any phone calls then just leave him be. i know the anger is building up, trust me i know, but sometimes you have to sit back and say is it really worth it. then again you dont want to get mad and say something bad and ruin any chance, if there is one. if he is a real man he will call. so NO dont UNLEASH, dont vanish - hold your head high and go about like nothings wrong, it'll kill him, dont let him think he got to you. so yes basically stay middle ground, he needs to man up and talk to you. im going through almost a similiar situation, not totally similiar but similiar in the man just being a complete coward. good luck.