faraway Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 I met my ex the summer of 2003. We ended up creating a relationship over three months and decided to stay together when he moved back home - 3000 miles away. Everything was wonderful and I was planning on moving to where he was so that we could start our life together. I was young, scared, and as I got closer to making the choices to move across the country, I started to freak out. I ended up getting drunk and cheating on him, and although he wanted to work things out, we broke up because I was scared. It has been two years since then and both of us have been in relationships that ultimately failed because the people that we were dating didn't compare to each other. We stayed friends but have been talking quite a bit over the last month since we both recognized and admitted that we never got over each other, still love one another very much, and want to be together. The problem is still the distance. I feel like we could work something out (geographically) if only we could work on our "more than friends" relationship. Should we wait until we see each other in person to think about becoming more than friends? Should I leave this all up to him because I was the wrong one (worst mistake of my life) in the break up? I guess I'm just afraid that I will make the wrong decision again and risk losing him forever.
magichands Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 I guess I'm just afraid that I will make the wrong decision again and risk losing him forever. Don't be afraid. Tell him how you feel. And don't ever let go again.
BabyPhoenix Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 Should we wait until we see each other in person to think about becoming more than friends? Should I leave this all up to him because I was the wrong one (worst mistake of my life) in the break up? Yes, I think you should wait to see each other and discuss this in person. You are perhaps making alot of assumptions at this point. Assessing the situation in person is critical, I think. In answer to your second questions, I wouldn't leave it all up to him. If you want something to happen, you need to have to courage to address this yourself.
lindya Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 Yes, I think you should wait to see each other and discuss this in person. You are perhaps making alot of assumptions at this point. Assessing the situation in person is critical, I think. I agree on all counts. I ended up getting drunk and cheating on him, and although he wanted to work things out, we broke up because I was scared. You rejected him twice. Once by cheating, then a second time (and possibly this would be even more fatal) by not appearing to share his desire to work things out. That must have been very hard on him. To put his pride to one side and take the risk of trusting you again...only to find that your fear of commitment outweighed your feelings for him. I don't think you can really expect any normal person to initiate anything when they've tried for a relationship with you in the past, and met with that result. if you want to put the relationship back onto a romantic footing, the onus is on you to now lay out all your emotions... and to accept the risk of them not being returned.
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