funkify Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 Say you went on a few dates with someone but then didn't keep in contact. When is it appropriate to randomly contact them for a friendship without them thinking you are stalking them or wanting something more? Or is that a bad idea altogether?
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 I would wait for that person to contact you... Plus, why would you want to become friends with someone so soon after it didn't work out? Give it time.
Author funkify Posted November 11, 2006 Author Posted November 11, 2006 whichwayisup, I don't want to be friends soon which is why I'm asking how long is it appropriate to wait before a casual "How's things?' kind of contact.
whichwayisup Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 Were you two friends beforehand? If not, I don't see the point in keeping intouch afterwards..
Author funkify Posted November 11, 2006 Author Posted November 11, 2006 We were friends with an attraction for each other, there was an intention there but it wasn't like a pickup situation where you meet then swap numbers and go out. There was a friendship for a few months but we always knew the attraction element was going to be explored sooner or later. Does that answer your question, sorry if it's confusing
roxy_1980 Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 What you are describing is a lip-service friendship. A friendship that exists purely for the sake of making the other person comfortable enough to be able to date them later on. And in the game of "let's just be friends" afterwards, it doesn't count. Sorry, but this friendship is dead.
Kamille Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 I think it is possible to rekindle friendships after dating, I've done it, but it all depends what the basis of the friendship was beforehand. As in, if you developed a friendship because you ran into each other in some locations, then eventually, the sheer fact that you keep running into each other will make the friendship kind of happen all on its own. I've also recently established a friendship via e-mail with a guy I dated, but I think the purpose of setting that friendship was more of a way for me to get closure and clear the air, because of the way things ended. I am glad to consider him a friend though. But we don't contact often. Just make sure you don't sell yourself short by establishing a friendship with someone who wasn't into you for the wrong reasons... By that I mean make sure you don't approach the friendship from a weak position. So really, on this one, go with your gut. Make sure your desire to establish contact does not stem from a desire to hang on to anything. I don't think there is a set time. As for seeming like a stalker, if you are not a stalker then really, you have nothing to worry about...
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