Tormented Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 You know, sometimes you reach a point that you've had it with the BS and games following a breakup. For those of you who are familiar with my drama-filled, bizarre story...I finally took a step to bring an end to the never-ending drama. I'm sick to death of it monopolizing my emotions and well-being. The ex has put me through hell with his twisted mind games. We broke up 2 and a half months ago, and even though he promptly moved his drug infested, cheating ex girlfriend in within 3 weeks of our breakup, he continues to call me - never saying anything when I answer - just sits silent. He also attempts to place himself within eye sight during my lunch break on a daily basis....smiling and staring into my car as I pass by him. I got ANOTHER "silent" call from him Wednesday morning. Well, that did it. I've tried to ignore him...hoping it would eventually stop. No such luck. So, I did something completely opposite. I called his cell and left this message: "Look, if you've got something to say, then grow some balls and say it. Otherwise, stop calling me." Amazingly...I've YET to receive another call. Gee...I wonder why! lol... I have stuck by my N/C guns since the breakup, but enough is enough. Sometimes, you've got to call them on their games when all else fails. Whether he works up the nerve to speak up or decide to permanently disappear remains to be seen. Frankly, I don't care anymore. I just want the games to stop. You know, most of us here have gone through hell over our breakup. The sleepless nights, the lack of appetite, the endless tears, the depression, the anxiety....and for what? For an ex who can give a rat's arse about our welfare just as long as they KNOW we're still in the shadows pining over them? Great ego booster for them, crappy deal for us. Yes, we will always remember them...the times we shared, the dreams that once were, the pet names, their smile, their scent, quirky little habits they may have had. But guess what? It's over....time to move on! Life awaits us and we won't see the opportunities before us through tear-filled eyes. So dry your tears, wipe the dust from your butt, chin up, and get back on the saddle. Your ride isn't over, so get going. And remember.... The man/woman worth crying over is the one who WON'T make you cry.... ~T~
amaysngrace Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 YOU GO, Girl!! I'm happy to hear of how far you've come, even though I admit I don't know your personal story. But I'm glad I checked in when I did... I just love a happy ending!!
melodymatters Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 But guess what? It's over....time to move on! Life awaits us and we won't see the opportunities before us through tear-filled eyes. So dry your tears, wipe the dust from your butt, chin up, and get back on the saddle. Your ride isn't over, so get going. And remember.... The man/woman worth crying over is the one who WON'T make you cry.... ~T~ Good Job T !!! I know how you feel ! I had an extravaganza of badness come down on me recently. For the first time, i lost my spirit, my hope, and my optimism. But after a couple of weeks, I came to the same conclusion. I am selling EVERYTHING and starting over, basically wherever i want ( and can afford of course) My self pity party is over and I'm taking action. I forgot where this line came from but.." There are good times to be had here, but better times down the road"..... I'm puttin on my boots and headin down the road : They DIDN'T kill me, they made me stronger, sounds like you feel the same way. Maybe it's time to tweak the screen name to " TormentedNoMore" !!! Good luck girl !!!
theadventure50120 Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 My wierd phone calls started again yesterday , mum picked up then they hung up 2seconds later. Funny enough i have not contacted the ex in 4days and she has no way on seeing me online no more..and i was ready for a date , trying to move on also. I miss the date more then my ex at the minute hehe. It lasted for 5hrs This carry on lasted 4days last time. My number isn't in the phone book so no-one can just ring it for a prank. I wouldn't scream down the phone though , i find if it is her it's pathetic , and why scream and show them it bothers you. But yours is different he sounds like a wierdo.
Author Tormented Posted November 12, 2006 Author Posted November 12, 2006 I just love a happy ending!! Thank you for your encouragement. Lord knows I've needed all the encouragement I could get to make it through all of this. Don't know what I would have done without the people on this board! This IS coming to an end but I don't know if one could call it "a happy ending." I loved this man very much at one time and I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling something for him but I also know he was toxic for me. I still mourn the "good" memories we shared together and what COULD have been but his behavior since the breakup has severed all hope of a future for us. And that's sad, really.... ~T~
Amour77 Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 I am glad to hear things are getting better for you T. You know, you can love someone to bits, but when they s**t on you all the time, there is so much you can accept. Just think that you are closer now to the person who is meant for you, and if not, you got rid of someone who was not worth it.
Author Tormented Posted November 12, 2006 Author Posted November 12, 2006 For the first time, i lost my spirit, my hope, and my optimism. Yep, been there myself. Hopeless, broken, loss of interest. Bad place to be in. But after a couple of weeks, I came to the same conclusion. I am selling EVERYTHING and starting over, basically wherever i want ( and can afford of course) My self pity party is over and I'm taking action. I've considered moving to a different area many times since the breakup. I think a change in scenery would do me good, not to mention a new adventure. But until I find a decent job to go to I'll have to stay put. Good luck on your "new adventure," Melody. I forgot where this line came from but.." There are good times to be had here, but better times down the road"..... I'm all for that! Time to head out. I'm puttin on my boots and headin down the road : They DIDN'T kill me, they made me stronger, sounds like you feel the same way. "Ha! This made me think of that old song by Nancy Sinatra... "These boots are made for walkn', and that's just what I'll do... One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you!... Maybe it's time to tweak the screen name to " TormentedNoMore" !!! Not quite yet, but I'm slowly getting there. Good luck girl !!! Same to you, Melody. ~T~
Author Tormented Posted November 12, 2006 Author Posted November 12, 2006 I miss the date more then my ex at the minute hehe. It lasted for 5hrs I'm so glad the date went well, Adventure, and that you're taken steps to move on. However....careful that you aren't using this girl for a rebound. Not accusing you of it, but you seem to attach yourself to another quickly. I know you've been in a lot of pain, and turning to another to help dull it is easy to do, but the problem with rebounds is....somebody will ALWAYS get hurt. Usually for the reboundee. Just go out with this girl, have a good time, but take it slow. I wouldn't scream down the phone though , i find if it is her it's pathetic , and why scream and show them it bothers you. But yours is different he sounds like a wierdo. After months of his games...the constant "silent" phone calls, the driving by me everyday while on my lunchbreak, and trying to ignore it with the hope it would stop...I finally reached my limit. So, I decided to confront it head-on. And since doing so, I've had NO further phone calls. I'm hoping my action put an end to it, but I'm not sighing with relief just yet. It's only been 4 days so we'll see. Knowing him the way I do, he'll give it a week or two and will start up again. But if he does, I hope he works up the guts to say something. That way, we can settle this once and for all. And yes...I'm starting to think he's a "wierdo" myself. But at least he's a weirdo that I don't have to put up with anymore. ~T~
Author Tormented Posted November 12, 2006 Author Posted November 12, 2006 Just think that you are closer now to the person who is meant for you, and if not, you got rid of someone who was not worth it. Yep, either way I win. I have been on a few dates...one of which I had a good time, the other I couldn't wait to get home! The first one was laid back and didn't pressure me initially, but within a few weeks started pushing me for more. I can't give more right now, so I stopped dated him. We still swap emails and I do enjoy his company, but I haven't finished healing yet. It's only been 2.5 months since the breakup so I need more time. I still miss my ex sometimes, and I still cry now and then...but I do NOT miss the drama and heartache of having him in my life. And the fact that I've walked away and have STAYED away is what bothers him so much. He's lost me for good, and he knows it. If he doesn't, then he's more screwed up than I thought! Thank you, Armour, for the words of encouragement. ~T~
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