nicki Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 I've read that men are very afraid of our anger and respond better to expressions of concern than anger. Male or female, do you think that is true? If so, I'm considering telling my boyfriend: "I'm very concerned that you are a big loser!" Oops, I guess that's not right....
DanielMadr Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 I've read that men are very afraid of our anger and respond better to expressions of concern than anger. Male or female, do you think that is true? If so, I'm considering telling my boyfriend: "I'm very concerned that you are a big loser!" Oops, I guess that's not right.... When you express anger it is funny. You cant back it up with force if situation escalates It is always sad when you lose control over yourself. But you probably wanted to tell us something nice about your boyfriend, right? Tellig him he is loser....hmmm...it is like he telling you, that you are ugly and stupid. Prepare for battle:D
Author nicki Posted November 10, 2006 Author Posted November 10, 2006 I WAS just kidding around by saying that. Really, though, I'm having trouble expressing anger because of my frustration. I seem to shoot first, ask questions later, and it really does gets my boyfriend's attention. He usually wants to talk right away and solve things. Past attempts at calm discussions haven't worked to get his attention as well as my displays of anger....but, of course, I don't want to be reactive in an angry way all the time. I suppose it's just my frustration at how to express myself when I'm mad... That's why I asked the question. So, how is best to express anger to a guy?
tanbark813 Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 So, how is best to express anger to a guy? Well I don't know if it's the same from girl to guy as guy to girl, but from personal experience it seems like the ideal expression is between totally calm and out of control. That is, you don't want to be completely calm and passive, but you also don't want to be screaming and pounding the wall. A reseserved but firm sense of hostility is the best way to go, IMO.
Author nicki Posted November 11, 2006 Author Posted November 11, 2006 Thanks lone-shewolf and Tanbark! "...a reserved but firm sense of hostility is the way to go, IMO." Brilliant -- and it makes so much sense! That's the balance that I needed to understand. Thanks again
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