bonehead Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 Couple weeks ago I posted asking if MW was taking a break or breaking it off. Got my answer. She moved out. She wanted to make sure it was not FOR me or just to be with me. She moved to her moms. About 50 miles away. Still driving the kids back for school every day. We have had some really long talks the past 2 days. She is planning on staying at her moms until the first of the year. But wants to move in over Christmas break. I have offered to let them move in sooner to save money. ( some days its 100 miles round trip twice a day ) I offered her my basement ( its a finished basement with a full bath, 2 bedrooms and our family room ). Its not like her kids would feel out of place, we have laughed in the past abut how comfortable her kids are in my home. They have always just walked right in and made themselves at home. And its not uncommon for them to spend nights there when my boys and I are gone a few days. Money wise for them it makes sense. We dont use the basement bedrooms except for storage anyway and that stuff can be moved into the garage. But at this point she says no, even though she admits it makes sense.
NoIDidn't Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 bonehead, Good luck with this, but wanted to tell you this. Married women are notorious for Exit Affairs. They use the affair to get out of the M, but don't stay with the OP. It happens a lot. Give her some space and let her come to you for some things. She might not want to feel like she has yet another man making demands on her or asking that she give up her independence right now.
Author bonehead Posted November 13, 2006 Author Posted November 13, 2006 But I dont think it would be an exit affair. 2.5 years of best friends more then anything else. I know it has been an affair in one way or another. But really not your " normal " affair.
GreenEyedLady Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 It's a good thing that she wants to have her own time and space during this period of transition in her life...that way she works through what happened in her M and is able to start fresh with you if that's what she chooses... I know it's scary, but let it unfold and don't rush it...if you're meant to be, it will work out in the end...
Author bonehead Posted November 13, 2006 Author Posted November 13, 2006 " It's a good thing that she wants to have her own time and space during this period of transition in her life " I totally agree. In fact for the most part Im glad she wants to wait. I actually feel bad for her when ( and if ) she does move in here. Its going to be a change for EVERYONE. My boys and I have been living on our own for over 2 years. We have pretty much gotten set in our ways. So much is going to change, though it may be good in some ways. Her kids are asleep by 9 even on most weekends, where its not uncommon for us to be up till all hours of the night working on dirtbikes, ATVs, playing games, or just listening to music fairly loud. Both my boys have wanted to get musical instruments for a little over a year. We made a deal on what they had to do to get them. They kept up their end, so the youngest is getting a guitar for christmas and the oldest is getting a drum set. They are coming from a situation where they couldnt make much noise. ( one of the effects of his roids use, headaches ) SO we are trying to figure out how this is going to work. Its not fair for us to have to make a lot of changes, but its going to be a shock for them to be coming into this. I mean my youngest was working on his dirt bike and fired it up at 2am. If anyone had been sleeping it wouldnt have lasted long. We know we wont be able to do that much, but we are not going to say " Their here, bikes are done " WHile yes I know that 2am is a little late for teenagers to be up, as long as its weekends and school doesnt become a problem I dont enforce a bed time on weekends. But I also know what she is spending in fuel.
NoIDidn't Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 You might be surprised that her kids will love the noise that you and yours make. At least before the novelty wears off. They will probably be extremely happy to be in a place where they are not walking on eggshells though.
Author bonehead Posted November 14, 2006 Author Posted November 14, 2006 Her kids LOVE coming to my house. Its funny, her oldest who is the most polite girl you could ever wish to meet doesnt think twice about just walking in opening the fridge and helping herself. Youngest loves to get the dog going, running and chasing each other through the yard. ( Shes maybe 40 pounds, dogs 105. ) Kind of a test run this weekend. They are going to be staying here because the oldest has a birthday this week and wanted to have some friends for a sleep over but where they are staying is to far away.
Author bonehead Posted November 20, 2006 Author Posted November 20, 2006 Sleep over went really well Saturday night. They came down and stayed Friday to get things around for Saturday. Boys and I tried to not be very involved but they wouldnt let us. I know it was just a weekend but with the history I think things will go pretty well if they do move in.
GreenEyedLady Posted November 21, 2006 Posted November 21, 2006 Glad to hear that things are progressing the way you would like them to, thanks for the update...
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