chill chic Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 I knew this guy for over a year, we're good friends & even casual lovers, but he moved back to his home town to be with his family. But I feel that there are some unanswered questions left throughout our relationship. I think he tried to hide an emotional side of him that he's never revealed to anyone. He was starting to open up to me before he left, but I'm sure he could still use some help. I want to be there for him, so what would be the most appropriate way of letting him know that I can help him, or if he needed someone to talk to, what would be the best approach? I don't want to come on too strong either though. Because he's also the type that wants to be the "strong" man, & not show his weak side. Is there any hope? If I let him know I'd be there for him, & that he can trust me, would he appreciate that & eventually turn to me? Keep in mind that he had a rough childhood, well at least didn't know his real dad, didn't really get along with his mom although he had a step dad. He also played minor league baseball for awhile, but never made it to the big leagues, except for being called up once to play a game with a team. He came here to my city to try & make good money with his job, but didn't quite fit in, so he moved back to his small home town. So I think he's still a lil lost at age 32. Anyway, I wrote him an email not too long ago, telling him that he could trust me, that I was proud of him & that I cared alot about him. So like I said, will he eventually open up to me?
Touche Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 Well my first question would be to ask you what his response to your last email was. Did you get one? How long ago did you email him? I just need more info to try to help.
Stunner Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 Ok, my man is a true cowboy. Came from farm country and a third generation farmer/rancher. NOT exactly the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, especially being the oldest son and since his father passed away the one everyone else turns to to be strong. I believe him to be exceptionally expressive given his upbringing and what I understand of it (I'm a country girl myself). I have posted within the past week about him coming back around after being out of town for three weeks leaving me to wonder what was going on with his heart and us. I sent him an email/ which I got no response to in order to let him know that we all deal with our emotional issues differently and I was sure that he would deal with his in his own way and in his own time and I supported him. That no matter what I am here and care for him and he doesn't have to be alone in it if he doesn't want to. I reassured him my feelings had not changed for him and I was going to leave it up to him to call when he felt like it...during his trip,that is...I had to leave a time limit for me. Not a deadline but just for my own sanity more than anything. Up until this time I was the only one he had been discussing his problems with and only when he wanted to talk about them...I never pushed. He came back and more importantly came back to me and he is more attentive and wonderful than ever! Really going out of his way, he has made up his mind, settled the issues that had nothing to do with me and we are moving forward with our relationship. Firstly, you did everything right, IMO with your note to him. I believe you said all the right things. Unfortunately, he has to find his own way. You've done all you can and how it's up to him. When and if he comes back he is going to be stronger and be more at home in his own skin...you don't want a man who needs 'fixing' anyway. It's very likely that could happen and he could move on. Let him come to you as complete as possible. The last thing you want is a relationship with a man who is so broken he can't communicate. IMO, men appreciate what ladies like you and I have done for them...give them room to be themselves.
Author chill chic Posted November 10, 2006 Author Posted November 10, 2006 Well my first question would be to ask you what his response to your last email was. Did you get one? How long ago did you email him? I just need more info to try to help. well my last email to him was a week ago last Tuesday. His last email to me was about 2 weeks before that. we always kinda had the issue of not coming on too strong, so we wouldn't call each other every day or anything, because to me, if you call the same guy/girl everyday..you run out of things to say. when this other guy would call me everyday, he turned into a stalker, so I didn't want to go through that everyday. anyway, the contact kept our relationship interesting, me & this guy. but lately I've been telling him through email that I care for him, and he can trust me, etc, so hopefully he doesn't shun away knowing that I want him to open up to me. I didn't literally say that, but I was just letting him know in more ways than one.
Touche Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 I hate to say it but he's not at all interested. No guy would wait this long to respond if he were. Let this one go.
Author chill chic Posted November 10, 2006 Author Posted November 10, 2006 I hate to say it but he's not at all interested. No guy would wait this long to respond if he were. Let this one go. well I'm definitely laying off for awhile, I'll be patient if anything, but he also wanted to go on vacation with me when I go, so it's hard to say for right now at least.
Touche Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 well I'm definitely laying off for awhile, I'll be patient if anything, but he also wanted to go on vacation with me when I go, so it's hard to say for right now at least. I remember some of your posts. He's using you. I mean it. If a guy was REALLY interested in you for more than just sex, he'd be emailing you back immediately.
Author chill chic Posted November 10, 2006 Author Posted November 10, 2006 I remember some of your posts. He's using you. I mean it. If a guy was REALLY interested in you for more than just sex, he'd be emailing you back immediately. if so...will he ever feel like an a**? does that mean he has serious relationship problems?
Touche Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 if so...will he ever feel like an a**? does that mean he has serious relationship problems? We can't determine if he has relationship problems based on what you've said. Maybe he just doesn't want a relationship with anyone and maybe he just doesn't want one with you. Who knows? I think you should try to not obsess about it. Let it go. He's gone. I don't think this was ever meant to be in the first place.
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