Fruitbat Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 Hi Everybody, First I want to say thank you. I've been reading everyone's posts and they have really helped me out with the coping process. 4 weeks ago my fiance of 6 years seperated. She loves me and I love her, but she feels that we aren't compatible (don't share the same goals/interests) and that she's tired of trying. Also because she doesn't feel that infatuation, inseperability, essentially being "in love" with me, so it's best if we seperated. We've been together since she was 18 and I was 21, and we've been through rough patches with her travelling to gain her independence and freedom. I guess I need some advice on how to deal with this situation. I still love her dearly, but during the relationship I have to admit that I wanted to break it off sometimes too. But I'm just not sure if it was my depression and low self-esteem that made me think that. I was always looking at the flaws and not the good things about us or her. That's basically what I do to myself and it started bleeding over to her over the last 3 years. It's ironic as I'm a successful entrepreneur. She was my perfect opposite and embodied a lot of things I wanted to be, but there just always a barrier there for me. And I just don't know if it was me or us I bought us a house so we can start a family together about two months ago, and now I'm there all by myself. I don't really know what to do, and am battling with whether or not I should sell the house and move on. It seems like the house just constantly depresses me. I can't walk into some rooms without feeling crushed (rooms that we painted, worked on together). . Anyway that's the basic summary of my story. I just don't know what to do. We haven't hand NC because we've had to deal with a few things, and I've been emailing her trying to explain that it's not her, but me. The usual story about how I can change. I am seeing a councillor to help me through this, but I really feel like I messed up the most important thing in my life. And that there's no real point. She is very pretty, smart, driven, everything a guy could want in a girl, but I just couldn't pull it together. So what am I supposed to do? I know NC is the way to go, but I just can't get her out of my head and all I want to do is call and talk to her. The hardest part is knowing that she loves me still, but that will never be enough for her. Boo.. I just feel so depressed all the time . Should I keep on trying to reconcile or is it too late? The worst of it is that the two times I've gone out with friends in the last 4 weeks, we've run into each other. That through me for a loop for quite some time each time. And it's not that we were even hanging out with mutual friends. It was complete randomness. What are the chances?
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