GreenEyedLady Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 Hi Stillhere! I know exactly what you mean...
stillhere Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 Hey GEL!! Haven't seen you around much, then again, i have been laying low as well!! Only us OW's know what is going through our heads and it's hard to put it into words. I know we all understand each other, but i know the BS will never understand, and i don't expect them to. If i was in their shoes, i wouldn't understand either.
yousaveme Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 Hey GEL!! Haven't seen you around much, then again, i have been laying low as well!! Only us OW's know what is going through our heads and it's hard to put it into words. I know we all understand each other, but i know the BS will never understand, and i don't expect them to. If i was in their shoes, i wouldn't understand either. Very well said...I totally agree
GreenEyedLady Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 Hey GEL!! Haven't seen you around much, then again, i have been laying low as well!! Only us OW's know what is going through our heads and it's hard to put it into words. I know we all understand each other, but i know the BS will never understand, and i don't expect them to. If i was in their shoes, i wouldn't understand either. I wondered where you were and was glad to see you back...sometimes I guess we all need to lay a little low...
Author herenow Posted November 15, 2006 Author Posted November 15, 2006 Hey GEL!! Haven't seen you around much, then again, i have been laying low as well!! Only us OW's know what is going through our heads and it's hard to put it into words. I know we all understand each other, but i know the BS will never understand, and i don't expect them to. If i was in their shoes, i wouldn't understand either. I guess this is the true answer to all my questions about the OW. Since I am not one myself, I will never really understand. Also, I can't expect the OW to understand how the BW feels. All I can say is, I can't imagine anyone believing that being involved with a MM isn't hurtful to his wife. No matter what the OW thinks, the wife does not deserve to be treated so poorly. Yes, it's the MM responsibility to be faithful, but the OW should realize that what she is doing is wrong. I am going to give all of you the benefit of the doubt and hope that you are not ignoring that fact.
Spinderella Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 I guess this is the true answer to all my questions about the OW. Since I am not one myself, I will never really understand. Also, I can't expect the OW to understand how the BW feels. All I can say is, I can't imagine anyone believing that being involved with a MM isn't hurtful to his wife. No matter what the OW thinks, the wife does not deserve to be treated so poorly. Yes, it's the MM responsibility to be faithful, but the OW should realize that what she is doing is wrong. I am going to give all of you the benefit of the doubt and hope that you are not ignoring that fact. I suppose that the majority of OW do not feel that it is them and the MM doing something terrible to the wife, because they dont really, deep down feel like their IS a partnership between themselves and the MM. I am quite sure that this uneasyness and insecurity takes over and becomes bigger than any thoughts of the wife, which is when the battle to get MM becomes the main focus.
NoIDidn't Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 I suppose that the majority of OW do not feel that it is them and the MM doing something terrible to the wife, because they dont really, deep down feel like their IS a partnership between themselves and the MM. I am quite sure that this uneasyness and insecurity takes over and becomes bigger than any thoughts of the wife, which is when the battle to get MM becomes the main focus. Spin, I understand what you are saying, but I disagree. Its not that the OW doesn't think that the MM and herself are a partnership, its that she doesn't think that the MM and the BW are THE partnership. MM are notorious for lying about the person of their W's and making it sound like the M is dead. Just means that they invest in the lies.
Spinderella Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 Spin, I understand what you are saying, but I disagree. Its not that the OW doesn't think that the MM and herself are a partnership, its that she doesn't think that the MM and the BW are THE partnership. MM are notorious for lying about the person of their W's and making it sound like the M is dead. Just means that they invest in the lies. I am only half guessing, but half not, as I have been involved in relationships with committed men before now. When I did this, I felt very vulnerable at the same time as WANTING to believe these guys. I think even if the lies are exceptionally good, there must be some sort of uneasyness there. I could be wrong though, perhaps the lies are so good that the OW really completely and utterly believe in the relationship between themselves and MM.
Guest Posted November 15, 2006 Posted November 15, 2006 How is it that a woman can have sex with another woman's husband and not know that she is hurting his wife? I think you all know what you are doing, but you are selfish and only do what is good for you. The thought of hurting someone doesn't mean anything to you as long as you are satisfied. I'm sure if you were the wife you would be singing a different tune and asking how someone could do something like that to you.
NoIDidn't Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 I am only half guessing, but half not, as I have been involved in relationships with committed men before now. When I did this, I felt very vulnerable at the same time as WANTING to believe these guys. I think even if the lies are exceptionally good, there must be some sort of uneasyness there. I could be wrong though, perhaps the lies are so good that the OW really completely and utterly believe in the relationship between themselves and MM. Spin, I had to go back and re-read your post. Why is it that you think the OW doesn't think that she and MM are a partnership?
Spinderella Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 Spin, I had to go back and re-read your post. Why is it that you think the OW doesn't think that she and MM are a partnership? Well of course I am only guessing, but it just struck me that the relationship cannot possibly feel very secure, I think this is what I meant by this. Could be wrong of course.
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