laurafox0 Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 This will probably be a good one for all lol I am 39 years old fell deeply in love in 1999 with him we got married in 2000 and divorced in 2002!~ well we had it real tough from the beginning he had three kids from previous marriage 2 lived with him full time thy werea girl 11 and boy 15 and i had a son that was 7 at the time we really had to work hard to make this work and had made tremendous progress in that dept matter of fact his daughter is 19 now and still calls and talks to me and ask for advice things like that. in 2002 my health all of a sudden went bad i started having blood clots, no symptoms no warning out of the blue had severak surgeries in and out of hospital and more than once was in hospital for 2-3 months at the time! when I am finally released from the hospital this one time i had been there 3 months got a staph infection that nearly killled me. they sent me home finally with IV antibiotucs for awhile I get home guess what? my whole life is not what it was anymore he was angry because i continued to smoke after docs already warning me that its not helping my condition said if i contiued i would evenyually lose an arm or leg "peripheral Vascular disease" is wat it's called. But the worst thing of all that had changed was my husband had started going back to aa church he attended before we met when we met he had stopped going to church already. before we were married we had a discussin on religion i told him very clearly that i believe in god i believe in worshipping god wherever you want to I also told him I was against the "holiness' church thy have so many "rules" whn i first met this man thy did not even have tv in th ehouse! daughter had to wear dresses to school she was 12-*13 imagine that! she hated it anyhiooooo he knew how i felt about it well he is attending this church again whn i come home he quit drinking smoking drugs all of it! any way it got to be very stressfull at home as he would constantly blast me off for smoking"i want a div hesaid if u cant do better do wat docs say i want div!!! well i listened to that for about a month thn diecided to go to moms and finish recuperating with my IV and all. boy it wasnt even a month later he had div papers ready went signed those i got my vehicle his "church" took up money while i was in hospital about 4,000 he gave me 1,000! didnt bother each other for a year after a year he calls one day out of the blue, now keep in mind i NEVER stoppped loving this man never! he came over of course wehad sex and from that point on we were "sneaking" around meeting having sex then going on our seperate ways this went on 3 1/2 years!!!!now here recently he has been around all the time here every nite has told friends and family we r together ha no secret no more this is something i have wanted for along time to reconcile i truly love him. but now we are faced with the things that happened while we were not together cause his lil religion thing ended again and he was on the prowl slept with about 5 women ha that i know about just moved on but still had me on the sideline i let him! I was also with a few other guys nothing could not care about anyone else was in love with him always. he wants to talk about the past i dont i want to let it go if he truly wants to do this. and lately i'm beginning to see the patterns that were there when we were married.....I don't feel i can depend on him ha well ahe went against his vows and div me thn it was at a time whn i needed him more thn i prolly ever would hve again with my health and all o and a year after divorce i did lose my left leg below knee, blood clot. I don't know what kind of relationship we have now are we b/f g/f commited? dating? nothing icant get nothing and thats where i'm at now i want a commitment i want to know that he will be there always i dont think he can promise me that he's not offered me anything permanent i truly believe he hasnt been with anyone else at least in last 6 months so why will he not commit? i know this is crazy stuff please give me some advice I am sooo tired of playing this game with him but yet i dont know how to let go.....
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