M&M28 Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 I broke up with a friend months ago. And I'm still having trouble coping with it, I'll be honest. I'm not going to go into details since it's a long story. But what I could go for is some really good friendship stories. For example someone who had broken up with a friend and it ended badly, but met better friends around the corner type of thing...hopefully you get what I mean. I'm just trying to not jumping, but leaping into moving on. This friend and I were friends for a long time and it just still hurts, so maybe you kind people will understand how I feel.
Country_Girl Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 Well, I had a few good friends in elementary school, and we remained friends until I was 22 or so. Those friends didn't seem to mature along with me as we got older, it was always the same old drama & gossip. Another close friend of mine started getting heavily involved in drugs...eventually it got to the point where it was more important for her to get "high" then return my phone calls. I got tired of it & realized these friendships were no longer healthy for me, and as hard as it was, I needed to cut ties with these people who were holding me back. It wasn't easy, and too is a long story- but these friendships were bringing me down, when the whole purpose of friendship is to "lift you up". You're never too old or too young to establish new frienships, lets face it, people change with the time, so naturally some friendships will follow suit. In the last 2 years I have met 2 people who I would now consider my best friends. We may not have shared the sandbox together in grade school, but we do share alot of the same goals, hobbies, and perspectives. What's best of all there's no drama between us, because we recognize the importance of honesty & communication. I don't regret my decision to end a few friendships, because without that, I may not have met the people I know now. I have no doubt be it work or school, you'll meet someone you share common ground with & can find that friend you are looking for.
blind_otter Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 I had a best friend from the time I was 10 years old. We were carbon copies - she had strawberry blond hair and freckles, I was dark with dark hair -- but we were like two peas in a pod, up through college. We parted ways and "broke up". We got back together a year later and then broke up again and she moved across the country. But we are now back in touch and planning a reunion next summer to visit together. Good friendships endure those "breakups" -- sometimes you just need a break.
Adunaphel Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 I have a few stories of meeting new great friends too. But my favourite one is about patching up and restoring a friendship after not talking for each other for two years. I understand how you feel, and I hope you can make great friends soon. My advice is getting to know as many interesting people as you can and give time to friendships to develop, instead of focusing only on the first guys or gals you seem to be getting along well with.
konfuzd Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 My roommate in college was also my best friend. When school was over, we had a big blow out. She just moved out, didn't say goodbye or anything, left a bunch of furniture in the apartment, and didn't clean an inch of the place. Called me a few months later asking where her damage deposit was... So, needless to say, I was shocked when I recieved a wedding invitation more than 4 years later.... Even though I live 12 hours away, I thought, "what the hell, I'm going to go". I came down a day early, and when I saw her, it just felt like old times again. I could kind of sense the awkward aprehension when I saw her parents too, but I just gave them both big hugs. Got on great with everyone, had an absolute blast. Made some new friends at the wedding and have been in touch with my friend on a regular basis since. Whatever happened between you and your friend might seem really awful now, and not knowing the details, I can't judge, but think to yourself; "is this something that will matter 2-3 years down the road?" Maybe give some time to chill out, and contact this person on a special occasion just to say 'hi'. Is it worth discarding all the good times you had together?
Author M&M28 Posted November 10, 2006 Author Posted November 10, 2006 Hey all, thanks for the stories. It really helped. Sorry I haven't been back after the posts, but I think I have the flu or something's going around. I for sure have the icky's ... not that you needed to know that. I've just always had trouble meeting and becoming close to people. I think it had to do with my childhood and how I was teased really badly for many years. When I do become close I push them away, but I think I've finally learned my lesson the hard way. I think my friend and I were moving in different life directions and things just got really bad. We didn't know each other when we were little, but we knew each other for more than a few years. I also always concidered her to be a best friend to me, but it wasn't really returned, so after a few years I felt like she was holding me back in many ways etc. etc. Not on purpose more like in a "sense," if that makes sense. I needed to move on and out and it blew up badly I wish she would concider later down the line when we are both in better places that maybe we can be friends again, but at this point it doesn't seem like she's ready at all. I'm one not to hold on to too many grudges (life's too short for that) and when I realize my mistakes I like to try to make up for them. But I think she might be the type to once something's big happened she just can't ever forgive again. Which I can understand, or try to understand as well. Course I hope your right later down the line or even in a few years it might change. But I'm not going to wait around anymore. For now I've been keeping busy with never ending college work and I have met some really nice people...it's just hard when I think about her sometimes. But I really appriciate your stories. Thanks again! It was a big help. I know in my mind that I did the right thing and I don't regret it and once I start making some close friends and my life gets going again I'll remember why I did what I did. I probably sound corny don't I?
Kittiecat Posted November 16, 2006 Posted November 16, 2006 Not corny at all. I parted ways with a friend two years ago. No arguments, no betrayal -- we just got separated during a pub crawl and never spoke again. It hurts sometimes to think about it - I was maid of honor at her wedding, and she always called me her "best friend" (I never considered her my "best friend" only because I hate ranking my friends). I left her two VMs afterwards telling her where I was, where she could reach me...nothing. Last I heard she was expecting her first baby. I wish her only the best but yeah, it's kind of sad. Sometimes I wonder what I did...other times I'm just plain angry at her for tossing away our friendship so easily. Sometimes I think friendships are just a sophisticated way of not making enemies.
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