Guest Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 Why is it so hard to walk away from passion, love and magic??? Please help me to understand why he's (MM) walked away. The hardest part is working together.. His wife found out about our affair and now he's back at home with her. His e-mail to me..... We both share the same feelings and I just can't deny our connection. But unfortunately we won't be able to be back together like we were even before we fell in love. There is too much chemistry that is too hard to deal with in me. What we have and shared is unique and nobody will ever experience that. But I do think that I would have ended up in a vicious circle as for you are also a very strong and determined woman. And that would have resulted in me causing you the same pain as I caused *** and soo many others. YOU do not deserve that, nobody does. I am growing in soo many things. Fighting, confidence, getting in touch with myself. You taught me so many things and we shared wonderful moments. You deserve the best in the world, someone who CAN be there when you need him. You will find him. Do not close your heart, I never did. Leave it open for someone to touch. Don't ever give in to you values and believes. Don't ever comprimise yourself. We will always find eachother, where ever we are. Nobody can take that away. Its our MAGIC.
whichwayisup Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 Please help me to understand why he's (MM) walked away. The hardest part is working together.. His wife found out about our affair and now he's back at home with her. 1)He's married and it's not right for him to have a relationship with you. 2)His wife found out about the affair and he's chosen to stay with her and work things out. He's more or less told you why things can't continue and he's done it respectfully. He's been honest and that's a good thing. Move on, let him go. As painful as I'm sure this is for you, don't contact him again. Not ever. Keep busy and heal yourself, seek therapy if you need it extra help. One day you'll meet someone else who will love only you.
BenThereDunThat Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 Gawd, my stomach turned just reading that. Why do they all say the exact same things?! What we had was so unique, you've taught me so many things, I just want what's best for YOU, I'm doing this for YOU, you've touched my heart. You're so wonderful. You deserve better than poor ol' tortured me. Seriously. I swear they all read from the same damn book. :sick: :sick:
Guest Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 Gawd, my stomach turned just reading that. Why do they all say the exact same things?! What we had was so unique, you've taught me so many things, I just want what's best for YOU, I'm doing this for YOU, you've touched my heart. You're so wonderful. You deserve better than poor ol' tortured me. Seriously. I swear they all read from the same book. :sick: :sick: Is there a such book???
Jane Doe Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 Seriously. I swear they all read from the same damn book. Yep. Guest, he walked away because his wife found out and he chose his marriage over his affair with you. There's really no simpler way to put it. As much as it hurts you, those are the facts.
Guest Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 At least you have an explanation. After 4 years I don't have a clue why mine ended.
November-Rain Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 Why is it so hard to walk away from passion, love and magic??? Please help me to understand why he's (MM) walked away. The hardest part is working together.. His wife found out about our affair and now he's back at home with her. His e-mail to me..... We both share the same feelings and I just can't deny our connection. But unfortunately we won't be able to be back together like we were even before we fell in love. There is too much chemistry that is too hard to deal with in me. What we have and shared is unique and nobody will ever experience that. But I do think that I would have ended up in a vicious circle as for you are also a very strong and determined woman. And that would have resulted in me causing you the same pain as I caused *** and soo many others. YOU do not deserve that, nobody does. I am growing in soo many things. Fighting, confidence, getting in touch with myself. You taught me so many things and we shared wonderful moments. You deserve the best in the world, someone who CAN be there when you need him. You will find him. Do not close your heart, I never did. Leave it open for someone to touch. Don't ever give in to you values and believes. Don't ever comprimise yourself. We will always find eachother, where ever we are. Nobody can take that away. Its our MAGIC. I feel your pain. It must be torture to have to work with this man. have you considered finding another job away from this man? I think it would only be beneficial to you. Best of luck.
BenThereDunThat Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 Is there a such book??? There must be! All the things my exMM told me, the things that really reeled me in, things that no man had ever said to me before? So many OWs in here repeated them all back to me....only it was THEIR MM telling them these things. It really amazes me. I've said it before and I'll say it again. They are all so ALIKE. And I'm not some naiive thing who's never had anyone fall in love with me before. That's what kills me. For me, I think it was a self-punishment thing. I felt horrible about myself because of kicking my H out the door (even though it totally needed to be done), so I guess I was kicking myself over it and unknowingly left myself open to this whole stupid "affair". Which, is that not the ugliest word ever? "Affair." Eeew. That's why I can kind of relate to some of the people on here who pounce in and say how they would NEVER do such a thing, and how STUPID could you be??? Because, you know what? A year ago, I would have been right there with them, saying the same things. I guess if I've learned anything from this whole mess, it's that people do dumb things sometimes. Even the people you admire most. We're all vulnerable to things that we would never dream of being vulnerable to. You just never know. You just don't know until you've "walked a mile in their shoes...."
Jane Doe Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 BTDT, I really gain a lot of wisdom from your posts.
BenThereDunThat Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 BTDT, I really gain a lot of wisdom from your posts. Thanks, Jane....your supportive posts have helped me more than you will ever know.
Meaplus3 Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 Why is it so hard to walk away from passion, love and magic??? Please help me to understand why he's (MM) walked away. The hardest part is working together.. His wife found out about our affair and now he's back at home with her. His e-mail to me..... We both share the same feelings and I just can't deny our connection. But unfortunately we won't be able to be back together like we were even before we fell in love. There is too much chemistry that is too hard to deal with in me. What we have and shared is unique and nobody will ever experience that. But I do think that I would have ended up in a vicious circle as for you are also a very strong and determined woman. And that would have resulted in me causing you the same pain as I caused *** and soo many others. YOU do not deserve that, nobody does. I am growing in soo many things. Fighting, confidence, getting in touch with myself. You taught me so many things and we shared wonderful moments. You deserve the best in the world, someone who CAN be there when you need him. You will find him. Do not close your heart, I never did. Leave it open for someone to touch. Don't ever give in to you values and believes. Don't ever comprimise yourself. We will always find eachother, where ever we are. Nobody can take that away. Its our MAGIC. In my option it's because he got caught and choose his marriage over the A. From what I have been reading around here for the past year, they always seem to choose the Marriage and make peace with the wife. I feel for you, cause I had a ton of passion with MM and I know I always will. AP:)
PoshPrincess Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 In my option it's because he got caught and choose his marriage over the A. From what I have been reading around here for the past year, they always seem to choose the Marriage and make peace with the wife. I feel for you, cause I had a ton of passion with MM and I know I always will. AP:) I don't think it's always the W they are choosing. Yes, they decide to stay at home but sometimes it really is because of the kids (not something I can understand but everyone's different). Guest, I TOTALLY feel for you and have been there myself, with all the kind words, etc. It does seem to me like your MM has strong feelings for you, but I guess he is trying to do the 'right thing' as mine eventually did. he said it wasn't necessarily the 'right' thing but it was the 'only' thing he could do and was the sacrifice he would have to make. He made the decision to stand by his family and I totally respect him for that (as much as I don't agree with it - I would if he still loved his W. Who knows, maybe he does?). I know it is going to be extremely hard for you to move on but you can, I promise you. Put it down to experience. You can always take something from it as hard as it as, such as you were so lucky to have those feelings for someone (even though you have had your heart broken), or maybe just that you have learned your lesson to NEVER get involved with someone else's man ever again. I know I have. Or maybe he came along at a time in your life when you needed the distraction which was what happened with me. Whatever it may be, everything that happens in life is a lesson to us in some way. Take care. We are all here for you
peacelove Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 IMO, it sounds like he's trying to keep the ow around. Why else would he send that letter? He should've just went on with his marriage w/o that letter to the ow.
yousaveme Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 I feel your pain...I remember when me and my MM got caught...The wounds are still fresh. We are have gotten back together ( since we never went through a period of no contact he says we never really completely ended things back then) , yet he is home for the sake of the children and that is the only reason.
PoshPrincess Posted November 10, 2006 Posted November 10, 2006 IMO, it sounds like he's trying to keep the ow around. Why else would he send that letter? He should've just went on with his marriage w/o that letter to the ow. I think he is probably just a decent enough guy to feel he owed you an explanation, because he loved and cared about you. At least he faced up to things instead of ignoring you. IMO, having cheated doesn't make someone completely without morals. He made a mistake but for whatever reason, he is now trying to put it right.
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