CammieSue Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 My bf and I have been dating on and off for a little over a year. he is 29. For awhile things were ok but lately he is getting mad at me for stupid things. Mostly he thinks that if he wants to go somewhere I HAVE to go with him. We live about 25 minutes apart and I work full time till 5pm monday thru friday so I don't see him every day. This started when we first started dating- he invited me to some country fair and I didn't go. I wasn't interested in going because I thought it would be boring. So he went with his son. On the fourth of july he invited me to this morning parade in his town. I'm not a big fan of parades (three firetrucks, a local high school band, some cars with kids throwing candy.) and I wanted to sleep in that day so I said thanks but no thanks, he got mad. I have gone to other things he invites me to, his work christmas party, some double dates with his friends, a bonfire, his son's birthday parties, an amusement park, things like that. I even went to a christmas parade (when it was about 10 degrees outside and I dont like parades!!) with him and his son just so he would stop getting upset with me. He keeps a list (in his head) of EVERYTHING i've said no to. Anytime he asks me to do something and I say no thanks he will bring up everything even stuff from a year ago!! And when I do say yes to things he never remembers those things, just takes it for granted and bitches about the places I didn't go with him. The latest is this morning he called me at work (something he rarely does) and asked if I wanted to go to Red Lobster tonight with his friend and his wife from work. My Bf and i went to Red Lobster about three weeks ago and I didn't like the food (usually I do) and felt sick afterwards. So I wasn't interested in going back any time recently. So I said no thanks i really can't stomach that after last time. Well he got mad and said thats no excuse and hung up on me. He uses the reasoning that anytime I ask him to do something he ALWAYS says yes no matter what it is because he likes spending time with me. Its true that if I ask him if he wants to go to the mall with me then he goes even though he HATES shopping. But that is his choice and I tell him if he doesnt' want to do something with me he doesn't have to. I"m certainly not going to get mad at him because he doesn't like shopping or doesn't want to see a certain movie. I will just ask one of my friends to go. (Thats not a threat or anything just a fact). He seems to think that because I'm his girlfriend if he wants to go somewhere then I should go too. Anyone in a relationship like this? Am i the one with the problem or is my boyfriend?
oh_what_am_I_doing Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 Well, since no one else has responded to you yet, I will. I would definitely say your bf has poor communication skills. Nobody should be hanging up on you, and it's not a good tactic to bring up previous arguments. He should not dig up events from a year ago that you chose not to attend. That being said, I wouldn't like it either if my SO didn't agree to do the things I wanted to do. IMO, it isn't the activity so much as it's time spent together that is important. I went to see Superman Returns (twice) at the theatre with my boyfriend, not because I wanted to see the movie, but because I wanted to spend time with him. If he called me and asked me to go to Red Lobster with him on a double date, I would be more than glad to go, whether I liked the food or not. Even places where the food isn't great, at least they usually have a good dessert or even just a pop. After a year, it seems to me that the two of you should either be more into each other or call it quits. My boyfriend and I live just 5 minutes closer than you do to your boyfriend, and he works until 11 PM, however we still manage to see each other every day. Also, you stated: "For awhile things were ok..." That doesn't sound too enthusiastic. Ultimately the choice is yours, and surely there's tons more we don't know, but my gut says you're not right for each other.
Art_Critic Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 It sounds to me that you really aren't into him.. He sees the times you say no as a rejection because most GF's would go with their BF in most case unless they have other things to do.. but to not go just because you don't want to is just an excuse and he can sense that.. You need to have the where are we going from here conversation.. after 1 year I would think that you would be more into him but he is way into you more than him..
Recommended Posts