fetish Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 Hey everyone, i tried the living together thing with my gf a 2nd time This story is a little long so i apologize in advance. I've been w/ this girl for bout 3 1/2 years. The first year we did the LD relationship thing until i moved down to where she was. She's still in college on a full ride scholarship so her scholarship had paid for her apartment on campus. When i moved to where she was, i had no job, just a little bit of money. I stayed with my grandma but 90% of the time, i would be over at my gf house. I would buy groceries and things like that while i was staying there but that was it. That whole time i stayed between my gf house and my grandma lasted about 4 months. Over the course of that 1st year, we played with the idea of living together . It was mainly her idea but i went along with it because i thought we were getting along so well. After finally getting a job, I moved to an apartment after 4 months w/staying b/twn my gf and grandma. I kept this apartment for a year while my g/f still had her apartment on campus. So she moved out of her apartment and lived with me the last 3 months of my lease paying nothing. I didn't even bother her about money. After some arguments, i was starting to think living together was a bad idea. She wasnt even paying me anything, but yet would try to make rules around the house. A few weeks later, we got in to a huge fight and we both decided it would be best if we didnt live together. She said she would move out after 2 months, but 2 months turned to 7. She paid me nothing those 1st 6 months. I asked her to pay UTILITIES the month before she moved out. She got her own apartment and her mom got a parent loan and paid the entire rent up. She lived there for about 6 or 7 months. She didnt have enough credit to get lights in her name, so i opened up her an account under my name under agreement she would pay the bill. We were starting to get along again and she supported this crazy idea i had about starting a business. So she suggested that we try living together again, except THIS time, she agreed to pay 1/2 of everything. I figured, "What do i have to lose?" We were always together anyway. So now we've been living together again for 2 months now. The first month i didnt charge her any rent but last month, she took forever to pay me. I told her that rent is due on the first of the month and it's financially hurting me to have to front my half and her half of the money up, while she takes her time paying me little by little throughout the month. So just the week before rent was due, i ask her if she was going to have her money. She said that she had to get her car fixed and she would pay me her half next week. She had money and went to the casino and first told me she was only gambling with $50. The night after she came back, she told me she lost $100.00. To make a long story short, she still hasnt paid me and we've been getting in arguments because i ask her for her portion of the rent. She cops an attitude with me everytime i ask and says i'm not a supportive boyfirend. I know i'm probably coming across that way, but we had an agreement. She has a part time job and is a full-time college student. She hasn't even bothered to apply for any Student loans while she's living off campus. Now she regrets her decision to move out of her ON-CAMPUS apartment. She says again, she'll pay me next week. She also says that she can't handle me nagging her about the rent so she's moving back on campus in January. But does it sound like i'm unsupportive? I still have my College loans of over 20,000 to pay back. She's on a scholarship, so that means she won't have 1/3 of the debt i have when she graduates. I get frustrated because I do alot for this girl. But when i ask her to pay up, she starts saying i'm unsupportive. She forgets that i bought a school book for her and new outfiits and pay when we go on dates most of the time. Any advice? I'm not making enough money to support anyone right now. I'm only making $11.00/hr. [There's more but this post is long enough] ANY ADVICE WOULD BE APPRECIATED
Author fetish Posted November 9, 2006 Author Posted November 9, 2006 No replies? Did loveshack.org stop giving advice?
tanbark813 Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 You're not unsupportive, she's just being a bitch and guilting you into getting her way. It's only fair that she should split the finances with you and pay her portion of the bills in a timely manner. I'm guessing that this: She also says that she can't handle me nagging her about the rent so she's moving back on campus in January. ...is really just a threat so you'll buckle and respond with, "No, baby, I'm sorry! Don't go!" Stand your ground, man. btw, if she already has an on-campus apartment that's paid for, why did you guys get an off-campus apartment??? Why not just move in with her?
IpAncA Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 No your not being unsupportive. She's just taking advantage of you and you need to stand your ground and let her know that if she can't pay her share then she needs to leave and that this isn't a game. Its not personal but you can't pay your own plus her's, especially since she's on a fully ride. She's being very selfish and doesn't really give a dam. It would be smart to let her move out and don't stop her because it will then be easier on yourself and less stressful. Here's a tip from one previous college student to another: The next time you both want to move into an apartment while in college, make sure that its a two bedroom and that under the leasing agreement that you both have separate rents and split the utility bill. This way if she doesn't pay you don't get stuck with her bill and she gets to deal with aparement management and not you. This is what I did and it worked out great. I had my rent amount that was due at the 1st of the month and my roommate and I split the utility bill. I didn't have to worry about her paying and if she didn't pay then o well, not my problem.
Ssheena Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 Uh.. unless her mom and you and whomever else she hooks in MAKES her learn to be financially responsible she won't. She's not being a supportive girlfriend! What a moooooooch.
Author fetish Posted November 10, 2006 Author Posted November 10, 2006 Thanks for the advice guys. And yes, i am going to stand my ground and let her move out. Because she's at the house most of the time and the energy bills are double what they would be if i was staying by myself. I kind of hope she moves out. Our relationship will probably last longer anyway. btw, if she already has an on-campus apartment that's paid for, why did you guys get an off-campus apartment??? Why not just move in with her? Oh and tanbark813, an answer to your question, Her apartment on campus consists of a large living room, kitchen and 2 seperate bedrooms. She stays in one bedroom and her assigned college roomate would stay in another. And plus campus security monitors things like overnight visitors. If they were to catch me staying there, she would get a fine. When i first moved to town before i found my job. I actually lived with my grandma but stayed most of the time overnight at my gf apartment. I think i returned the favor when i let her stay with me all those months w/out paying rent.
Recommended Posts