F*#^% I am so indecisive.. love him, love him not

[Princessjesabell]

I really need to get things off my chest with my relationship, I cant go to my friends because no matter how many times they tell you to come to them with a problem they wont judge, they do. They always judge, not directly to your face but in the back of their mind they are judging...

 

Been with "Stu" for 6 years.. previous posts will tell you that things have been bumpy and things have been swell. For the past year things have been more on the swell side then ever, hence no postings.

 

For three or more days now I have been secretely hating "Stu"! I dont hate him when were together at home watching TV or talking.. its when were away from each other that I get these thoughts of hate, of previous fights and deception and times he wasnt there for me when I needed him... It's when Im in the next room that i start thinking that I have made a bad decision by staying with him as long as I have and that I am by no means ready to commit to being a house wife for the rest of my life with him (Im only 26). It's when he snaps at me for little things or I get mad at him for leaving the same clothes in the bathroom for 2 days for not fixing things that I have asked to be fixed time and time again that I want to move on...He knows nothing is wrong becuse in all honestly he hasnt done anything.

 

And then I see him and all that hate goes into hibernation and I forget about it temporarily. I think more about the awful things that have occured in our relationship over the good times.. I was explaining these emotions to my mother who actually had to remind me of times I must of told her he and I shared..times of summer sitting on the porch together laughing at our silly dog and going on camping trips and laughing. Cleaning the house together and just the simplicty of watching tv together.

 

I tried to justify the fact that maybe it is becuase my best friend is going through a divorce and now has all this freedom and seems to be having a wonderful time and life.. I considered it to be jealously. Again in all honesty I miss when I was like that and I think I blame him.

 

Do I sound crazy? Is this something that everyone goes through when involved in looooooooooong relationships?

[Mythical]

I really need to get things off my chest with my relationship, I cant go to my friends because no matter how many times they tell you to come to them with a problem they wont judge, they do. They always judge, not directly to your face but in the back of their mind they are judging...

 

Been with "Stu" for 6 years.. previous posts will tell you that things have been bumpy and things have been swell. For the past year things have been more on the swell side then ever, hence no postings.

 

For three or more days now I have been secretely hating "Stu"! I dont hate him when were together at home watching TV or talking.. its when were away from each other that I get these thoughts of hate, of previous fights and deception and times he wasnt there for me when I needed him... It's when Im in the next room that i start thinking that I have made a bad decision by staying with him as long as I have and that I am by no means ready to commit to being a house wife for the rest of my life with him (Im only 26). It's when he snaps at me for little things or I get mad at him for leaving the same clothes in the bathroom for 2 days for not fixing things that I have asked to be fixed time and time again that I want to move on...He knows nothing is wrong becuse in all honestly he hasnt done anything.

 

And then I see him and all that hate goes into hibernation and I forget about it temporarily. I think more about the awful things that have occured in our relationship over the good times.. I was explaining these emotions to my mother who actually had to remind me of times I must of told her he and I shared..times of summer sitting on the porch together laughing at our silly dog and going on camping trips and laughing. Cleaning the house together and just the simplicty of watching tv together.

 

I tried to justify the fact that maybe it is becuase my best friend is going through a divorce and now has all this freedom and seems to be having a wonderful time and life.. I considered it to be jealously. Again in all honesty I miss when I was like that and I think I blame him.

 

Do I sound crazy? Is this something that everyone goes through when involved in looooooooooong relationships?

 

 

You know that is very strange because I feel exactly the same! No lie

but actually my boy has admiting to these feelings also, not quite hating eachother, but its hard to explain, I think of negative thing, (in the past) Etc. and kinda have thigns against him when I am not with him and he has told me if we go to long without seeing eachother than it gets all weird and distant....

He says were awesome when were not together but were so much more awesome when we are!!

lol I don't know now im curious too!

but I understand and I am sure it isn't something bad inless you have a lot of worries of bad things that have happened in the past? Can't trust him? Still don't know answers to perious problems?

Hope we figure it out!