ahotmess Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 It has been 20 days since I've contacted him. Yes I've had a couple of weak moments, but I've forced myself to call a very understanding/and patient friend instead. It is working. I am healing. It frustrates me that he hasn't contacted me in a few days. I know that when he lets me go, when he quits trying, I will be devastated all over again. I am still very much in love with him (MM). I do try to convince myself otherwise. For those who wish to begin NC. It is hard, but will come in your own time. Good luck.
BenThereDunThat Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 I hope the fact that you've had those weak moments, but were still able to remain strong, makes you realize just how strong you really are. I'm lucky that mine is so "stubborn" (which I could also translate to mean he just didn't care as much as he wanted me to believe) and won't contact me. Well, okay, and maybe because I scared the h*ll out of him by threatening to tell his W. Keep it up. Even if it means reaching way down and pounding it into your head over and over that you deserve so much more. And if your friend isn't available to listen, then you can PM me anytime you want. BTDT
lovernotafighter Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 you may PM me as well AHM! me and my MM broke up after his b-day in September but we remained friends and it was a nightmare for me to maintain that. we are now in week 2 of NC and I am much further now that this friendship crap my MM wanted..I feel stronger everyday..I have lows to but the whole not seeing him has been tremendous! I bummed into him only once and it was from a far and I turned my back and left..that almost sent me back 3 days or something but I did it..that was something I couldn't do 3 months ago with out throwing up or something similarly as insane. this is some really hard stuff to deal with but you are doing wonderfully! keep up the good work and like btdt said you can pm me any time :-)
PoshPrincess Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 Well done, AHotMess. Very hard isn't it but sounds like you're getting there. I told my now ex-MM initially that I wished to remain friends, even though we had already tried that and it hadn't worked. After a few days of NC I realised that it would hurt me far more if I spoke to him so ignored his calls. I got to week three and a half and finally texted my ex-MM telling him that I'd got his messages, hoped he was ok but that he was right, the 'friends' things would do my head in too much, plus said it wasn't fair on him as he was trying to get his life back on track and I would prevent him doing that. I got a reply and feel like I've finally got closure. I feel more empowered now and I think he will finally have the strength to leave me alone too. It will be a month this weekend since we last spoke and I still miss him like crazy but we both know it's for the best and that this is the way it has to be. Best of luck and keep up the good work. You know we are all here if you need us. Stay strong.
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