My Love Life is Cursed. Cursed, I tell you.

[Guest]

So every man I meet in real life turns out to be bizarre. I kid you not. As an example, one guy I recently went out to dinner with told me - on our 1st date - that he lives with his super-religious mom (he's 30 y.o.), so when (WHEN!) I came over to sleep with him we could do it in his room but then I would have to sleep in the extra bedroom (b/c of his mom). This from a seemingly normal professional man I met the traditional way - coffee shop conversation.

 

And people, that's only the beginning. That's a tame one. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. that asks me out seems so normal, so interesting, and then the heavens open and out comes the *real* guy. Everything from asking to borrow money on the 1st date, to telling me he injured himself 2 years ago, is addicted to pain pills, and is permanently impotent, at least til he goes to rehab. Seriously. I kid you not. Every single one.

 

And I am seriously a professional, attractive, fun woman. I'm kind, I'm not clingy, I'm smart. I rock in bed, I am a sexual demon. Not that I actually get that far with any of the men I meet since my love life is cursed. I am now a "getnosexual" because my love life is cursed.

 

So I decided - why don't I try online dating. HA. Not much luck there either.

 

Although I recently met this seemingly awesome guy online. Turns out we have mutual friends and they confirm he is an awesome guy.

 

Mr. Awesome emailed me for a few days, then we exchanged phone no's and talked on the phone every other day or so. Our conversations were at least an hour each time. VERY nice guy. Actually lives within 20 miles of me. Have seen pictures and friends have confirmed that it is actually him.

 

So far so good. And then Mr. Awesome drops off the face of the earth. Well, okay, for 3 days. I left a message (one message) and didn't call again. See, I am not crazy or clingy.

 

SO for all the frogs I have avoided kissing, I actually was interested in this guy.

 

And now I think I am being brushed off.

 

That sucks.

 

I am cursed. For real.

 

Thank you for listening LoveShack community.

[Art_Critic]

Turns out we have mutual friends and they confirm he is an awesome guy.

And now I think I am being brushed off.

 

Maybe he asked the same mutual friends about you and didn't get the same good report ..

 

 

Dating is a numbers game.. the more you go out with the better your chances of finding the one that sticks..

 

By the way.. asked to borrow money on a first date.. good grief.. I always wait until the 3rd date to ask for the loan..

[Guest]

Maybe he asked the same mutual friends about you and didn't get the same good report ..

 

Good thinking. Except most of our fabulous phone conversations were after we had both talked to these friends. So if he would have gotten a "bad reference," and not being egotistical, just knowing these folks, I highly dount that, he would have dropped off the face of the earth a while ago.

[latefragment]

getnosexual - i fricking laughed out loud when i read that.

 

yeah, join the club, i'm president. i recently posted about how awesome i am (but not stuck up of course) and how i'm a great catch but it seems like all the dudes out there are total duds and they end up rejecting me before i get a chance to even open my mouth to reject them first (WTF).

 

then i know, you meet a dude you actually click with and ... radio silence.

 

WTF is up with this. i'm so fed up i've recently retreated into a pseudo-recluse lifestyle - i still go out with friends but it's way low key and i'm spending a s**tload of time on my own projects. still feeling very burned by the last guy.

 

so... in a nutshell - i can TOTALLY relate. you know how when you haven't gotten any for so long that you don't even want it anymore? sad, right? it's like when you don't eat for a whole day because you're so busy, you're not even hungry any more.

 

oh one more thing: i also concur: wtf is up with weirdo guys? i met a guy who texted me for six days in a row, long, involved text conversations (i know, i HATE texting too, but what can you do?) and then i finally call him and he was all weird on the phone. WHY THE F* is he wasting my precious time? I texted him until my fingers were about to fall off, the m*F*er.

 

i've had a bunch of guys i met in real life turn out to be a-holes so i figure, what the hell, let's try the online thing. ok the first dude that i give my number to calls me and leaves these messages for me, whereby he calls me "baby" and "cutie". we HAVEN'T even had a phone conversation yet, much less met in person, and already I'm a "baby."

 

you can bet i didn't call his ass back. like i said, i concur with weirdo guys. oh did i mention the other guy who texted & called me for weeks but kept on breaking dates. Yay for weirdos & rejection! ok sorry for the rant, just wanted to concur with you.

[DanielMadr]

And I am seriously a professional, attractive, fun woman. I'm kind, I'm not clingy, I'm smart. I rock in bed, I am a sexual demon. Not that I actually get that far with any of the men I meet since my love life is cursed. I am now a "getnosexual" because my love life is cursed.

 

Certainly not humble one

 

Yep, I believe you girl. People are weird. I made similar experience with girls.

Luck has something to do with it but most of the time its about you. You subconsciously pick the wrong one. It is like to punish yourself or try the hard way instead. You have to change enviroment and pattern of behaviour (process of estimation of a guy).

 

1. Dont date on Internet

2. Ask yourself...'Does this guy look like someone I would pick up being old me?'

3. Learn to say 'No' when in doubts. Time is money and its frustrating.

[MadDog]

How old are you? I assume in your mid to late 20's at least. The reason you're experiencing this is because an overwhelming number of people who are single in the late 20's and older are single for a reason (e.g. they're crazy.) You kinda missed the boat as far as finding someone "normal." If you wanted that, you should have found someone maybe 5 years ago. Luckily for me, I'm a dude and can date girls practically any age (as long as they're 18.)

 

MD

[melodymatters]

That WAS funny, but sadly I too can relate. After my last BF who was my " type", got drunk and beat me up, I went online looking for somone " nice". Maybe not my OLD type, but I was going to be open minded.

 

Just this morning I got a letter from "R", we had been writing back and forth, were about to get to the phone call stage , here's the letter :

 

---------------------------------------------------------------

Hi Melody,

 

I have a confession to make.. there is something which I didn't notice in your profile and that is your height.. 5' 1". I'm 6' tall and ideally looking for someone who is about 5' 7". I'm sorry if it seems I'm being shallow (and maybe I am) but this is something which is very important and I can't get past. So best that I say so now. I think you are very attractive and you seem like a real nice gal. We can still be friends if you would like. If not, I wish you the best and hope you find the guy of your dreams.

 

R

___________________________________________________________

 

So, I am trying to be openminded and this nerd who I would probably never be attracted to, finally figures out I'm too short for him !!! BTW ALL my bf's and my husband were 6' - 6'2 !!!

 

I'm ready to quit !!!!!

[Sand&Water]

Melodymatters,

 

You admit, your love life is cursed.

 

Contrary to the general norm, I would like to present the significant issue/reason at hand.

 

And it is, definitely, neither this . . .

The reason you're experiencing this is because an overwhelming number of people who are single in the late 20's and older are single for a reason (e.g. they're crazy.)

Nor this . . .

If you wanted that, you should have found someone maybe 5 years ago.

Time limits are a complete and utter scheme of failure.

 

You can't use external affairs and/or public relations to solve/treat a problem that, specifically, stems from the inside [the inner personal character and wholesome yet fragmented body/mind image], MadDog.

 

The way you, Melodymatters, present your case to the public is almost legally "Non-Negotiable". In other words you provide reasons/exceptions/affirmatives that are, on the outside, very believable and flawless in structure. This, entail, allows you to convince the majority of the public/friends that it is not you at fault but rather the environmental/situational factors that prevent you from finding a suitable man.

 

It is fair to say, enviromental/situational factors do have an impact on one's ability to find a suitable mate, however, one can't weigh their entire life on the existence of external affairs. This is baloney.

 

I suggest, you, withdraw from the Wolverine image you've created for yourself. It is as, though, you are laying out all wonderful and attractive qualities -all at the same time. You are gruely attempting to catch all the little, worthless scraps men leave behind in order to satisfy the inner you.

 

That is dangerous. You, should, start out by presenting bits and pieces of your personality/character accordingly. It is not a race to the finish line.

 

Getting hitched should not be a 10 minute plan of action.

 

Be patient.

 

Woman's Point of View.

Sand&Water

[Guest]

From the OP. I'm 25. You're right, the guy I had 5 yrs ago was great until he started banging my best friend. Cursed, I tell ya.

 

However......drum roll please....

 

Mr Awesome did not drop off the face of the earth after all. Called me last night, in fact. (Woo hoo!) We have a date this weekend. (Woo hoo!) Maybe he won't be 1) impotent, 2) broke, 3) a drug addict, 4) living with mom, the list goes on.

 

Or maybe (and this is probably WAY more likely) I will be posting next week about the next chapter in my long list of bizarre 1st dates.

 

But hey, hope springs eternal. Nice to know I am not the only one who feels this way!!!!!!

[unsafe]

I think cursed it not the word. Maybe your love life is your biggest struggle for a reason. Maybe you are to learn from all the men you meet along the way. SO that when another man is presented to you, you can read him before he really opens his mouth. Everything is for learning. Maybe this guy disappeared because he has his own issues? Maybe he isn't ready. Maybe he's scared. He's been hurt and doesn't want to put himself out there? Who knows you could go on and on trying to think why why why. But just take it for what it is and find another guy and another guy and another guy until finally you feel its right.

 

I have similar situations. Some just want sex, some don't know how to treat you, some are just to selfish. Its just not the right guy yet. keep looking keep yourself busy and he will come!

 

I am in a relationship where I finally thought I found him, then it blows up in my face. He slept with his brothers fiance before we met and she is obessed with him. he tried to break us up. and since she is "soon to be family and his friend" he won't walk away from her. So I'm really close to walking away from him. He lives with his brother and her and he needs to move out he doesn't htink so. He thinks I'm trying to change him. But i'm not! But life takes us crazy places. We are to learn from them all.

 

Just be glad he disappeared now rather then later.

 

Thats what ever one tells me!

[Stunner]

All this testing is so when you DO meet the right man you will see it clearly and love every minute!!!

[sb129]

You are not alone mate.

The dating game is seriously wierd.

 

I have had several failed relationships- some different scenarios, LOTS of no call backs, and I still don't know whats going on. But I don't think there is anything wrong with you!

I think MD is kidding??? Of course there are normal single people in their late twenties and early thirties. And alot of my contemporaries who got married in their early twenties are now getting divorced- a fresh wave of single men (albeit with a bit more baggage)

 

Hard to say don't worry, but....

 

Don't give up on the internet.. I met my new fella on it and he is lovely...

[Stunner]

sb129, me too! Part accident/ part luck...but online.

[konfuzd]

I don't like to take joy in other people's hardships, but I have to say, it is a bit refreshing to hear I'm not the only one who feels so bloody cursed.

 

I was seeing this guy recently. For a couple months straight he called me 2-3 times/day, we saw eachother pretty near every day. Even after a 12 hour shift, he'd want to see me... Out of nowhere, all contact stopped. I haven't had more than a 2 sentence e-mail in 6 weeks, all which are just replies to messages I have sent. When I ask what's up, he has all sorts of lame excuses... Brutal! The worst thing is, he tells me I've done nothing wrong, yet he has a DVD I left at his place 6 weeks ago that he won't even give me back, because every time he's told me I can drop by to pick it up, he's not home, or won't answer his phone!

 

I wish I had an answer for you, but all I can say is it is really frustrating, and hard as hell to keep a positive attitude amongst constant rejection....

[sb129]

Hey Guest- let us know how the date with Mr Awesome goes.

I just thought of another scenario- my friends brother got a womans number, and didn't call her for SIX weeks the idiot. Luckily for him when he eventually got his s*** together, they started dating, and have now been married for two years.

 

Am sure its something to do with having a Y chromosome- I don't think men think about stuff the same way we ladies do..

[debs]

Art Critic is right....dating is a "numbers" game! I wandered BACK into the dating scene mid 2004. I can relate to Guest the strange behaviors of guys! Even the ones my age in their late 40s early 50s!

 

But I did take Dr. Phils advice and can say I am in a stable relationship, engaged and to be married New Years Eve!

 

You DO kiss alot of froggies or for the males they have to kiss alot of froggettes to find the elusive meaningful relationship!

Do Let us know how things go with the awesome one!