PoshPrincess Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 He's someone I've known for many years but haven't seen very often since we were kids so didn't really know him that well. We're back in touch and have just started 'something'. Am just so scared that it's a rebound thing (in fact, I know it probably is) but at the moment it's actually making me feel good and I DO think I have spent slightly less time thinking about my ex-MM! Amazing! I just don't wanna end up hurting the SG if I suddenly panic and decide it's not what I want, especially as he is a family friend. Thing is, I AM having a good time for the first time in ages. Not sure that I fancy him physically but he's a fantastic bloke, really funny, good company, etc which is quite attractive. We seem to be on the same wavelength. I'm looking forward to seeing him again, look forward to his calls, messages, etc but if this just because it's giving me something else to think about and taking my mind off ex-MM? I feel like I am comparing SG to my ex-MM who was tall, v good-looking (as well as ticking all the other boxes - apart from the 'single' one ) This probably makes me sound very superficial which I really never thought I was. None of my boyfriends in the past (before the MM) have been what you would call 'gorgeous'. I feel like he has spoilt it for me in some ways and I've started setting my standards a bit higher although I know the main standard I should have now is not to have a relationship with someone else's man. Take it from me - I will NEVER go there again! Juist trying to vent more than anything but what are your thoughts, guys? Am I being selfish?
whichwayisup Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 Take it slowly...And let this single guy know that you more or less just got out of a relationship. You don't have to go into details, but he should know where you stand. It does seem that the SG is abit of distraction for you, even though you like him. Problem is, your heart still is with the MM and not enough time has gone by for you to get involved seriously with someone else. Keep that in mind, so don't let yourself or SG get too attached right now.
GreenEyedLady Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 POSH: No you aren't being selfish...if SG keeps you from going back to MM, well then he keeps you from hurt...it is only natural that you will compare him to MM...you loved him and didn't want to end the R for reasons other than that he was married... As for SG getting hurt...he is a big boy...I have plenty of experience with single guys and they have their own agendas too...who's to say that YOU are not the one who will get hurt? Relationships are just like that, unless HE'S the one...which he could be or not...so have fun and try to forget about MM and hurting someone else...do something that makes YOU happy... Best wishes....GEL
Author PoshPrincess Posted November 8, 2006 Author Posted November 8, 2006 Thanks both of you for your advice. Although slightly different opinions I think I can take both on board. Like your style GEL! I guess I am just stressing a bit too much. I don't know that I want to tell SG about MM. Not that I am ashamed, well, I am I suppose but SG has had a relationship with a MW before so it's not as if he will judge me, plus he's not that sort of guy anyway. It's more because I just don't wanna go into it all. It's good to be with someone I CAN'T talk about it to and it's something I feel I want to keep to myself for the moment at least. I will however tell SG that I am not sure I can do that whole 'commitment' thing at the moment. Friends, yes, maybe even FWB! Who knows? Think I might go with the flow for now. It's the first time I've felt good about myself for months and at least it's something to look forward to!
whichwayisup Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 It's not his business, so don't feel that you have to tell him about the MM. Just be aware of his feelings - I understand you want FWB and not alot of committment, but seeing as he's a family friend you've known for a long time, tread carefully. Have fun and see where it goes.
Author PoshPrincess Posted November 8, 2006 Author Posted November 8, 2006 It's not his business, so don't feel that you have to tell him about the MM. Just be aware of his feelings - I understand you want FWB and not alot of committment, but seeing as he's a family friend you've known for a long time, tread carefully. Have fun and see where it goes. Thanks WWIU, it's the 'family friend' bit that worries me most. I'd hate things to get awkward. It's not that I would ever have to see him again but our Mums are friends. I know his Mum is concerned that he will mess me about, or lead me astray at any rate! Think MY Mum knows that no one can lead me anywhere I don't want to be led, but I guess I am a bit vulnerable at the moment. So far I have been putting on a bit of a hard front, like making myself sound as horrible as possible, which I guess is a defence mechanism thing. My best friend keeps telling me to just be myself which I suppose I should. It's not MM that has made me like this. I have always been the same! I think it's what actually impressed MM in the first place! He said he thought I had a bit of an edge, a bit of attitude. Anyway, enough about MM. This isn't about him anymore!!!!! Glad I can finally see that at least!
GreenEyedLady Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 POSH:You seem very upbeat and you're doing GREAT!!! Protect your heart but don't make it untouchable...love often comes around when you least expect it...just be yourself and go with the flow...
Author PoshPrincess Posted November 9, 2006 Author Posted November 9, 2006 POSH:You seem very upbeat and you're doing GREAT!!! Protect your heart but don't make it untouchable...love often comes around when you least expect it...just be yourself and go with the flow... Thanks GEL. Yes, I do feel a hell of a lot better and I am going with that at the moment. Went to see my psychic last night. Funny because when I went last time 7 months ago she 'knew' all about my MM, the whole sitch, etc and when she told me him and me WOULD be together, that was exactly what I wanted to hear. She is still telling me the same thing now. He WILL leave (next Feb/March) and will be with mem but this time I SO didn't want to hear that. Not because I don't want him, of course I still do, but because I can't go on believing that. I know that I have to get on with my life which I am going to do. Certainly not going to run my life by what a psychic says. If it happens, it happens, but at the moment I am quite happy with SG! What she said really threw me at the time as it wasn't what I expected to hear at all but this morning I am much calmer. Yippee for me!
freakygal78 Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 Posh Princess, I'm glad for you having found a SG to focus on and enjoy yourself with. I know you may have doubts that you're being selfish by 'using' him to distract yourself from MM - trust me I had the same doubts about mine but surprisingly enough I have found myself falling for him despite all that happened. I will still be messed up about it for a while but it did not destroy me or my ability to have a normal r'ship with someone which now I realise it, I'm not sad about leaving the sad sorry slippery slope mess behind me. I'm grateful for SG's timely 'appearance' in my life as I am now happy with him and am not drowning myself in alcohol and sentimental music thinking about him. I would take what the psychic said with a pinch of salt - we are the authors of our own destiny and besides which even if what she said is true, you have the power to change it the way you want. Anyways, I'm happy for you that you're feeling good about yourself again! Way to go!
Author PoshPrincess Posted November 10, 2006 Author Posted November 10, 2006 Posh Princess, I'm glad for you having found a SG to focus on and enjoy yourself with. I know you may have doubts that you're being selfish by 'using' him to distract yourself from MM - trust me I had the same doubts about mine but surprisingly enough I have found myself falling for him despite all that happened. I will still be messed up about it for a while but it did not destroy me or my ability to have a normal r'ship with someone which now I realise it, I'm not sad about leaving the sad sorry slippery slope mess behind me. I'm grateful for SG's timely 'appearance' in my life as I am now happy with him and am not drowning myself in alcohol and sentimental music thinking about him. I would take what the psychic said with a pinch of salt - we are the authors of our own destiny and besides which even if what she said is true, you have the power to change it the way you want. Anyways, I'm happy for you that you're feeling good about yourself again! Way to go! Thanks FreakyGal! It's good to hear from someone who has come out the other side. One things bothering me now though - my SG knows about MM. Not the whole story obviously but apparently my Mum had told his (because she was worried about me) and she mentioned it to HIM. He basically just wanted to know was I still seeing him as he didn't want to get involved with me if I was. Told him the truth, that the R had basically finished in May but we stopped contact a month ago. He seemed happy enough with that. I know he has had relationships with MW before so he won't judge me which is something. Would just rather him not have known, but, hey, can't change that now, can I? You're right about the psychic. It's funny how now that I am in a better place that my visit to her affected me a lot less this time than it did last time! I know that I am finally healing and it feels really good. I'm happier than I have been in months!
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