Guest Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 My GF and I broke up 6 weeks ago after a 2 year relationship. While I was the one to initiate the breakup, she admits to feeling the same way. Our needs were not being met and we didn't see ourselves together forever. We were friends before we started dating and still are the best of friends, and are both committed to doing whatever is needed to not lose each other. We have hung out quite a bit over the last few weeks (1-2 times a week), but just as friends, nothing more. Sometimes it's very hard, but we are very open about how we are doing and seem to be progressing through this change at the same pace. We are both open to meeting other people, I have already signed up for an online dating site, as I'm sure she has as well. We also both acknowledge that the future of our friendship is uncertain once one of us falls into a new relationship. So much is made of "No Contact" on this site, which I believe to be very important if one of you is still harboring hope of a reconciliation. However, when a breakup is somewhat mutual and both of you really want to stay friends, is staying away from each other for weeks, months, etc. necassary? I guess I'm just really trying to examine my feelings and making sure that spending time with her now is not slowing my recovery down. Any thoughts?
miss snoopy Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 The only time you'll both know if being "friends" is a viable option is when you both start seeing other people. I thought I was over an ex thrice removed until he started seeing someone else. I was in pieces and ended up going into therapy. On the other hand, my next relationhip ended semi-mutually (I knew we were going nowhere but couldn't bring myself to end it so he did) I met up with him 2 months later and couldn't believe I even dated him. When I heard he was seeing someone I thought "that was quick" but nothing else. We're not friends by the way. It's very hard to have a genuine friendhip with an ex, not something I personally believe in, and anyway why do you want to be friends with her? Surely you both have many friends of your own? I have only one ex I am in touch with. He emails me approx once every 6 months, phones/texts me when he's in town (once a year) and I'm usually "too busy" to meet up with him (unless I'm single in which case I'll meet him for a drink) I consider this such a big deal I tell every boyfriend about it early on in the relationship, even though we split up way back in 1992 after a 1 year relationship. But I guess we're all different..
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