rm31 Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 Hi There, I wrote this yesterday ( I JUST found this site): Please help me. I’m a woman and my girlfriend and I have been together for over 10 years, with the last 2 living apart. The last 2 years have been difficult and heart wrenching for us. She has come to conclusions this last year and wants us to be together and marry. Over the summer, I realized that I’m no longer in love with her the same way I was. She’s my best friend & family and neither one of us have really any family due to tragic situations. She’s devastated and I’m having a hard time being strong. She called off work and isn’t doing well. I feel horrible. I know she deserves to be loved the way she loves. She’s wonderful and all we know is each other. She’s not strong and I don’t know what to do. I’ve already called her twice and I’m worried. Sorry I’m all over the place, but I’m so distraught. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this. Well, it's the next day and I can't take how much she's hurting. I feel since I'm the only person in her life (outside of more casual friends), that she needs me and I can't stand not calling her and making sure she's okay. I know it makes no sense, since I'm the one breaking up, but I care so deeply for her. We've become family through all of our history, when it was just the 2 of us. But after our initial break-up 2 years ago and living separately since, we've just been so depressed and in such bad places, that we've changed and I no longer want to be in this as a relationship. I've stayed with the good and the bad, but she’s so needy and wants all of me to herself and her happiness is dependant on me, and I can’t take the pressure any more. I’ve taken it for years, but it breaks my heart to see her so upset and know that I’m causing it. If I'm still not sure after almost 11 years that I want to spend the rest of my life w/her, then I think there's a huge problem, and maybe because we've been through so much and resentment towards each other (we feel that we were both valid in our feelings) in the past. Sorry for the rambling, but I don’t know the right thing to do now and I’m scared for her and not to have her in my life. Thanks for taking the time. I truly appreciate it. Even if I get no response, it helped to write some of this out.
Jane Doe Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 If you truly want to end it, keeping contact with her isn't going to help her in the long run. I understand that your intentions are good but it's stringing her along. If she's going to heal, she needs to do it on her own, sans you. Perhaps you can set her up with a counselor or something but there's no way you can "ease" her through this breakup. She's going to have to go through it.
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