Guest Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 My ex boyfriend and I had a really healthy relationship. I always saw this person as mature and respectful. When we broke up, however, he totally changed. He tries to act really arrogant and disinterested like I never mattered and was never important to him (we dated for over 5 and a half yrs). He says he's "bitter" and isn't interested in remaining friends. He got a new girlfriend right away and claims "she is more important to me than you." Around our mutual friends, he puts on a show about how happy he is with her, how great he is doing in his career, etc. All of our friends agree it's an act done just to make me jealous...(ps..it's not working, haha.) But my questions are... Did any of you ever have a similar experience where a really nice person just turned bitter and arrogant and tried to make you jealous after the breakup? Does this eventually end? It's been 4 months, and the show continues. Will he eventually feel stupid and immature and want to be on good terms with me? Also, I have this "fantasy" of "what goes around comes around," where this person, after so many months of acting arrogant and trying to make me jealous, attempts to contact me and get on good terms and then I'll be the one acting disinterested and I'll have a legitimate new relationship that he can be jealous of. Does this only happen in the movies?
tdmce Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 Yes it does happen in real life, just read a lot of posts on this forum. He is trying to hurt you as obviously he is hurting still and putting on this act. Don't take it personally, he probably still is a good guy, just he doesn't have a good way on handling this situation. He most likely will want you back and that is something you will have to be prepared for. Good luck
LakesideDream Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 Does what goes around come around? Is life fair? In a word.... NO.
saturnalia Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 I know it stings, but why are you spending so much time obsessing about him? you'll be better off if you involve yourself in new activities and put his out of your mind as much as possible. Why not just get busy doing other things and meeting new people rather than hanging around scrutinizing his behavior.
Art_Critic Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 Does what goes around really come around? We can only hope.... Time to let this guy go... Life sometimes doesn't make sense and breakups fall into that catagory.
riobikini Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 re: "Does what goes around really come around?" Not really. Not 8-track tapes, and bouffant hairdo's, at least. (Smile) -Rio
Kamille Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 My experience : yes it usually does. But your scenario is wrong. One day, like 5 years from now, when the break-up is processed, you will run into each other and actually lapse into an honest heartfelt conversation about how much you meant to each other. And that feels really good. In the meantime, leave him to his childish games. Surely you have better to do.
Kenyth Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 My ex boyfriend and I had a really healthy relationship. I always saw this person as mature and respectful. When we broke up, however, he totally changed. He tries to act really arrogant and disinterested like I never mattered and was never important to him (we dated for over 5 and a half yrs). He says he's "bitter" and isn't interested in remaining friends. He got a new girlfriend right away and claims "she is more important to me than you." Around our mutual friends, he puts on a show about how happy he is with her, how great he is doing in his career, etc. All of our friends agree it's an act done just to make me jealous...(ps..it's not working, haha.) But my questions are... Did any of you ever have a similar experience where a really nice person just turned bitter and arrogant and tried to make you jealous after the breakup? Does this eventually end? It's been 4 months, and the show continues. Will he eventually feel stupid and immature and want to be on good terms with me? Also, I have this "fantasy" of "what goes around comes around," where this person, after so many months of acting arrogant and trying to make me jealous, attempts to contact me and get on good terms and then I'll be the one acting disinterested and I'll have a legitimate new relationship that he can be jealous of. Does this only happen in the movies? In a word or two, "move on". You're BOTH just a little too interested in each other yet for your own good. As far as "What comes around, goes around." being true, not really. People who act carelessly will usually be more apt to have trouble for it, but it's certainly not because of what they did to you in particular. A wise man once said, "The rain falls upon the just and the unjust alike." I can't remember who said it though.
Tormented Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 Does this only happen in the movies? Nope...happens in "real" life as well. Take my case, for example. It's a looooong drawn out drama....but I'll give the quick watered down version. Ex and I broke up 3 months ago. He had an ex who is a diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder who damn near tore his heart out when they broke up. She cheated on him the entire time she was living with him. And when she left him (while he was at work), stole a large amount of money, a computer, and other items from him. She then married the guy she was cheating with one week after leaving the ex. Okaaay....so when he and I met up, he was broken hearted as was I...had just gotten out of a bizarre relationship myself. Guess you could say we were each other's rebounds at first, but it evolved into love for one another. But, the relationship became rocky. I got tired of his control issues, trust issues, and so forth. We talked about it till we were blue in the face but nothing changed. So I made the decision to leave him. Hurt like hell, but I couldn't deal with it anymore. We were broken up for about 3 weeks when he finally contacted me out of the blue. Said he wanted to come over....that he missed me horribly, that he still loved me, that he needed to see me. Reluctantly, I agree. Came over that night and we talked for hours. It was good to see him again, to feel his arms around me once more. And of course, we made love that night. We awoke early in the morning to go to work. He called me that morning, told me he loved me, didn't want to leave, and that he'd call me that night. He did...told me he had errands to run and would call me when he got back. The call never came. This was VERY unlike him as he always called when he said he would. So, I got worried that something happened to him. I drove to his house and noticed a strange truck parked in his driveway and it was apparent that "somebody" was there. His truck wasn't there so I drove to his place of employment and there sat his truck. He's a truck driver (logging), so I pulled into the truck yard and waited for his truck to pull in. When it did, I approached him and told him I was worried about him and drove to his house. I told him I saw a strange truck parked in his driveway and now I understood why he didn't call...that he had a woman there. His face fell, he didn't know what to say. I told him he was a filthy liar and to not call me again. I then drove to his house, knocked on the door, and who answers it? Yep...the Borderline bi*ch from hell...the same one who stole from him, cheated on him, lied to him...STILL married, yet standing in his house! Needless to say, I was BEYOND hurt. If somebody had stuck a daggar through my heart, it would have hurt less. I told her he had spent the night with me, and that she was welcomed to my left overs. The result of this? He has tried to contact me several times...but can't work up the guts to say anything when I answer. He tries to see me almost daily by passing me in his truck on my lunch break. I have not responded to any of his attempts. In the meantime, the Borderline has been chasing her husband around town, leaving notes on his truck, calling him frequently, asking the husband if she can come back to him. The husband has refused to take her back and has filed for a divorce. So....there they sit - looking at each other and unhappy as hell. The 2 people who loved them, the 2 people they hurt by their selfish act, is GONE. So, they're basically stuck in their self-imposed hell and apparently miserable. So, you see...sometimes that which you put out comes right back at you with a vengence! Yes....what goes around DOES come around in some cases. ~T~
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