ForB Posted November 6, 2006 Share Posted November 6, 2006 My family has been dysfunctional from the get go. You would think it would get better as we get older but it's not. My mom and dad have always fought but stayed together. My only sibling is an daily alcoholic/bipolar scary person and doesn't work. She lives off my parents in her own home. She keeps my mom and dads answering machine filled each night with scary and threatening messages when she get drunk. The current situation going on with them in a nutshell is that my 80 year old dad has been in and out of hospital since July. He is back in again. My 77 year old mother won't go see him saying that he can use his abusive language on the nurses instead of her for awhile. Yet, she calls me to see if I've gone to visit him and ask how he is doing. She will make all kinds of flimsy excuses on why she can't go see him. The other day she was angry because he had to be moved to ICU and it is costing them a lot of money. She was angry on the phone telling me that she would even divorce him at this age and take whatever money is left. I assume before it is all spent on his hospital bills. And then also she goes off the deep end if he happens to act like he likes the nurses being nice to him (when she did go see him in the beginning). Like this 80 year old helpless man is going have a fling with the nurses. It's insane! It hurts when I go see my dad in the hospital laying there helpless and knowing that his wife won't come see him. He knows that she is angry at him. What should I do or what do you all think about this situation. It's making me sad and stressed and worried. Just like my life has been all along whenever I'm around them. I'm the only one in the family that works and visits him in the hospital. My mother does take care of him once he gets home as far as I know. She just gets absolutely crazy and mean whenever he has to go back to the hospital. I wish I could call other relatives or outside help to intervene but they have isolated theimselves from all relatives or clergy. Plus they would kill me if I did. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest anyway and any advice. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 That's rough on everybody... I think your mom needs a break and your dad in the hospital is what is making her have that break. They're both too old to change or do any changes in their lives...meaning splitting up. They may dislike eachother so much, but they do love eachother enough and it's companionship. Sounds like things aren't going to be easy, this is all put on you. Sorry to hear about your sister, as she probably isn't much help or reliable right now. So, that makes it all worse. Hang in there and keep venting. Do what you can do, but don't feel guilty! Link to post Share on other sites
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