jgaz3124 Posted November 6, 2006 Posted November 6, 2006 I am writing this today as it was 3 months ago on the 6th of August that my boyfriend of one year broke up with me. In the three months since we have broken up I have read several books on breakups and one of the thiongs I remember reading was that at 3 month mark of a breakup you feel a world different then when it first happened, and all the books say that you will know what that means when you reach that point. Well I have reached it and I thought I would share how I feel about it. First off let me start by saying that I loved this man very much and we both thought we would be together forever. Needless to say that didn't happen and I was devastated for the first whole month and I tried my hardest to get him, and that included calling him 30 times a day and leaving nasty and hurtful messages and also my favorite desperate messages all in the hopes that he would want me back. At about month 2 I decided to just stop being stupid and not contact him and not stalk him and to find out all about his life because honestly at that point I decided that what I don't know would not hurt me. So for the next couple of weeks came the long battles with myself not to pick up that damn phone or go onto myspace and look up his profile. But I suceeded and after awhile I no longer felt the urge to call him and I deleted his profile on myspace so I would no longer have to look at it. Let me tell you it was the best thing that I have ever done, Out of sight out of mind, well maybe not completely out of mind but it did make moving a whole lot easier when I was not calling him and trying to find out about him. So after all that, it brings me to today the 3 month mark and I want to say that yes I do feel a world different and whole lot happier than I have been in awhile. That is not to say that I don't think about him anymore because he is still on my mind about 80 percent of the time but it no longer kills me to think of him and the memories are something that I am grateful for instead of making me want to cry every second. And by the way I do still cry periodically over him but it no longer happens everyday only once in a great while. Let me also state that this is not my first breakup far from it, but I think this one was easier because we have not spoken to each other, which after every other one I have been through just keeps the sore open longer. At this 3 month mark I am at a new chapter in my life and I can honestly say I am ready to move forward with my life and see what it has to offer me. And I can also honestly I no longer hate my ex and I wish him well and hope that he finds the happiness that he needs. And to all you people who have just recently gotten your heart crushed hold on to the hope that you too will feel a world different at the 3 month mark.
the_alchemyst Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 Well, congratulations, you. It always makes me feel happy to read these types of threads. A glimpse of hope, I suppose. Congratulations, again. I hope you continue this way until you are finally fully over him.
SoundedPlum Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 Congrats! I'm on my 2nd month phase, even though it's only been 1 month since we broke up... I'm waiting for that 3 month mark!
panzer6 Posted November 11, 2006 Posted November 11, 2006 I went past 3 months myself, and I honestly felt alot better. I would still think about her and miss her at times but no contact really does help. But you know what, she called me!!! I spoke with her for about an hour and I had all those feelings come back like a wave from the sea. It literally washed over me and I felt like I was right back at the beginning. I went to a pub to meet her and we had drinks but she seemed pissed off at me about something. She wouldn't say what was bothering her. I don't understand why she contacted me and wanted to hang out with me and then turn around and treat me like crap. Perhaps she felt that she was over me and thought we could hang out as friends but when it came time to actually see and talk to me all the old feelings came back. Our relationship was very intense, we were very close physically and emotionally speaking. After she broke up with me she still wanted to sleep with me and it seems she has a hard time letting go of me. She would treat me like I was still her boyfriend. Even now she gets offended if I do or say the wrong thing. If she didn't love me or have feelings for me she would be indifferent to me, that is the opposite of love. I feel she still cares about me but she wont let me back into her life as a partner. This hurts me so much, to see her and yet not be able to have her the way I want her. My advice to you is to be very sure you have no feelings whatsoever for your ex. They may end up contacting you sooner than you think. I hope things work out for you, be strong.
Teacher's Pet Posted November 12, 2006 Posted November 12, 2006 Jgaz....Panzer... Congratulations. 3 months is a big step in getting over a relationship. I was lucky, I was surrounded by friends at my 3 month mark. If it wasn't for them, I have no idea how I'd be. I'm about to hit 5 months, and now it's getting rough again, so I'm trying to re-affirm to myself that I'm better off with her and her crap..... .....and her gorgeous long hair..... .....and the way she smelled..... .....and the way she rode me like a thoroughbred..... Yeah, this sucks. lol -tp offering free pony rides
bbgrlnas Posted November 13, 2006 Posted November 13, 2006 My boyfriend of 3 years walked out yesterday on our daugher and me for another girl. I'm devastated, I'm left with a 6 month old baby girl to raise alone. I don't have friends to surrond myself with because when I got involved with him we all just separated. Does it really get better with time. Read my post it says it all....
Author jgaz3124 Posted November 13, 2006 Author Posted November 13, 2006 My boyfriend of 3 years walked out yesterday on our daugher and me for another girl. I'm devastated, I'm left with a 6 month old baby girl to raise alone. I don't have friends to surrond myself with because when I got involved with him we all just separated. Does it really get better with time. Read my post it says it all.... I am sorry to hear that. It does get better with time but at this point in your breakup it will not seem that way for alittle while. I found the best thing to do is to let it out and cry when you need to and get a journal to write all of your feelings in. And to be honest I lost all of my friends when I was in my relationship. I had to really get out there and make new ones and I have but it is a work in progress. Take time for yourself now and your daughter. If you have family rely on them for support, if not then see if you can get help with your feelings through some sort of therapy. I think it kinda helps to come onto this website also and talk about it, not only that but reading others stories really lets you know that you are not alone. For now I would just let yourself feel the hurt and pain then after alittle time slowly do things to make yourself feel better. And the reason I say to let yourself feel the pain is because if you hold it inside it will come back to haunt you at some point.
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