Sand&Water Posted November 6, 2006 Posted November 6, 2006 RE: You are waiting on the women to change. This is not about the men. You're only placing this clay-like behaviour of men, in the center of attention, so that women can purposely claim they'd done men wrong. Good God... what the hell do you women want! Women want your avatar, SmoochieFace! Sand&Water
lindya Posted November 6, 2006 Posted November 6, 2006 Women complain about a guy like me but we have most of the success with women. Most of these guys in here are crying because their wife left while my ex is in jail because she could not accept losing me. This should tell people something Woggle - there's nothing wrong with being a strong man who knows his own mind and sticks to his principles. Same goes for women. The thing is that you keep singing this same tune in a variety of keys. You're saying that you have friends who are miserable because they're getting pushed around by their wives all the time; getting nagged into being whoever their wives want them to be - but what difference is there between wives dictating who and what they should be and generally belittling them (if, as you claim, they constantly do) and you doing it? I'm starting to think that it's not so much women you have a problem with as other men. Time and time again I keep reading these posts of yours that demonstrate a total lack of respect towards your own gender. Don't your friends get pissed off with you harping on like this and bumming yourself up at their expense (ie "be more of a man. Like me!!!)? Maybe for them, growing a pair would start by very bluntly putting you right about that.
Author Woggle Posted November 6, 2006 Author Posted November 6, 2006 You are right Lindya I do focus on men because our vehavior is why so many women act like entitled brats. I can't change women so I focus on the men because when men stop kissing women's asses and acting like they are goddesses then naturally women will change. It is matter of respecting yourself so others respect you.
lindya Posted November 6, 2006 Posted November 6, 2006 You are right Lindya I do focus on men because our vehavior is why so many women act like entitled brats. I can't change women so I focus on the men because when men stop kissing women's asses and acting like they are goddesses then naturally women will change. It is matter of respecting yourself so others respect you. I don't see that the world is full of men behaving sycophantically towards women. Of course there are some who do, but these would be the same guys who probably find it difficult to assert themselves with other people in general - male or female. Likewise, there are women who find it hard to assert themselves. It's a confidence problem a lot of people suffer from. A guy who lets other blokes push him around telling him how to be a man has, as far as I can see, got as much of an assertiveness problem as the slipper-whipped man you keep telling us about. Actually, Mr Slipper-Whipped and Mr Pushed Around And Disrespected By Other Men are probably one and the same. As for entitled brats - well, the classic narcissist is an extreme example of a self-adoring brat who has an inflated sense of entitlement. Do a bit of research on narcissism and link me in to any studies you find that show women are more prone to being diagnosed with that disorder than men are.
burning 4 revenge Posted November 6, 2006 Posted November 6, 2006 As for entitled brats - well, the classic narcissist is an extreme example of a self-adoring brat who has an inflated sense of entitlement. Do a bit of research on narcissism and link me in to any studies you find that show women are more prone to being diagnosed with that disorder than men are. Lindya, the studies I've read have shown that statistically more men are diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder than women, but that women are three times as likely to be Borderline and that the two are closely related with a few key differences. I believe that the behavior patterns can be identical, but that Borderliners suffer periods of loathing and self hate and that they tend to see things in absolute terms, though their perspectives of what thoe absolute terms are change frequently. I don't know why one personality type is predominant among men and the other among women, but that's exactly what I read and if I can find the source I'll post it. On a lighter note, you can't get pm's anymore and I wanted to ask if you knew about Spidey and LK before the thread this morning. It put me in a good mood today and I still feel so happy about it for them. It's great to see something like that after reading all of the dysfucntion and pessimism on this board (yours truly included).
lindya Posted November 6, 2006 Posted November 6, 2006 Lindya, the studies I've read have shown that statistically more men are diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder than women, but that women are three times as likely to be Borderline and that the two are closely related with a few key differences. I believe that the behavior patterns can be identical, but that Borderliners suffer periods of loathing and self hate and that they tend to see things in absolute terms, though their perspectives of what thoe absolute terms are change frequently. That would make sense, insofar as women are more likely to attempt suicide (relating to mental health problems), but men are more likely to complete it - though I think the use of more violent and instant methods by men also plays a part in that). I hope this doesn't result in Woggle now diagnosing all his friends' wives as being Borderline, but I suspect it might!
Guest Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 While there are people with disorders, let's not assume that every man and woman is suffering from one. Except perhaps those who persist in posting about how 'all (insert gender here)' are (insert denigrating remarks here)'.
burning 4 revenge Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 While there are people with disorders, let's not assume that every man and woman is suffering from one. Except perhaps those who persist in posting about how 'all (insert gender here)' are (insert denigrating remarks here)'. I agree, but sometimes people do fall into certain types and some types are more dysfunctional or destructive than others. As for me, the person I've posted about has been diagnosed with borderline numerous times by multiple psychiatrists, so it's not my subjective evaluation of her. Therefore, when I see posts about women demonstrating similar traits it sends up a flare. I nailed it on the head with a poster when I said possible borderline case and a female poster agreed with me and then the OP commented that she had indeed been diagnosed as borderline.
roxy_1980 Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 Is anyone else concerned that this thread is getting more attention than threads with actual concerns about relationship, rather than just mass generalization spouted into a sexist rant?
Guest Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 Threads that spark debates always get more attention. Often good enough advice is given to someone by one poster or a couple of posters that a bunch of replies aren't necessary since they'd only be redundant. Here there are different points of view so there's a discussion taking place.
Author Woggle Posted November 7, 2006 Author Posted November 7, 2006 I am addressing real concerns about relationships. Men would do themselves a whole lot of good by following my advice and it is not a sexist rant.
Great Gazoo Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 Is anyone else concerned that this thread is getting more attention than threads with actual concerns about relationship, rather than just mass generalization spouted into a sexist rant? Threads like this always get more attention. In some ways I think there is some truth to the original statement that guys should not lose themselves in a relationship by trying to be someone they are not. On the other hand I don't think problems in a relationship can be divided so easily into black and white issues, as in one sex is one way and the other is another. Also what did you think of the bombers game yesterday, I knew they would lose.
whichwayisup Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 This can apply to any guy in any relationship married or dating. Too often when a woman bitches at a guy, cheats on him or does anything he blames himself and tries to change. He constantly changes his behavior and bends over backwards doing whatever will make her happy. This pretty gives a woman the ability to mold a man like clay. He is whatever she wants him to be and he has no core to him anymore. He barely even knows who he is. While conventional logic will tell you this is what men are supposed to do it is the worst thing a man can do. Women may enjoy this power at first but eventually she will get bored of it and lose attraction because she loses repsect for him. The most important thing is that she respect you and a woman does not respect a man that is made of clay. A man like that is not strong and even strong women are attracted to strong men. Give and take in balance...This is what it comes down to. If one person gives too much and the other person takes, then the balance is off and the person receiving can become selfish and have expectations, which of course can lead to other problems...But then the key is, hopefully, that the person who is being taken advantage of would speak up and put their foot down, fix things before they get out of hand. Woggey, you're thinking worse case senario again, not all marriages are like this.
whichwayisup Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 My marriage is nothing at all like this. I am speaking about many of my friend's marriages though. My marriage is great. Hate to say this, but maybe for your own peace of mind, it's time you just focus on your own marriage and not worry so much about others. You have a good thing going, and letting yourself obsess about the bad stuff that some go through in marriage is NOT going to help you along...I'm sure your therapist (I hope you're still going!) has pointed this out to you, that it's not good for you to go looking for reasons why marriages don't work out. There are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many marriages that are wonderful and healthy...You just seem to only focus on the bad ones! Try paying attention to good ones, you just need to open your eyes to them. MOst men I know and look at this board. Many men are blaming themselves when their wives cheat or suddenly walk out on them. Just like women blame themselves when their husbands cheat on them. I think the betrayed spouse always blames themselves - Being a man or a woman doesn't matter... You are right Lindya I do focus on men because our vehavior is why so many women act like entitled brats. I can't change women so I focus on the men because when men stop kissing women's asses and acting like they are goddesses then naturally women will change. It is matter of respecting yourself so others respect you. Focus on yourself, your wife and forget what others around you are doing. What counts is YOUR OWN LIFE Woggle!
SmoochieFace Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 Women want your avatar, SmoochieFace! Sorry, Arthur isn't available!
Guest Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 "LS is dominated by younger and less mature men who haven't figured anything out yet." LOL. Age and maturity do not necessarily go hand in hand. . . .
magichands Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 "LS is dominated by younger and less mature men who haven't figured anything out yet." LOL. Age and maturity do not necessarily go hand in hand. . . . Check back with us when you've figured out how to quote. Or how to sign up. LOL.
magichands Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 Sorry, Arthur isn't available! Definitely the sexiest avatar on LoveShack. And now even sexier - if that's possible. We always want what we can't have.
SmoochieFace Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 Definitely the sexiest avatar on LoveShack. And now even sexier - if that's possible. We always want what we can't have. Yeah... take away all the T&A avvies and he would probably garner a decent score on the 'sexiness scale'. Wait... all the T&A avvies have been banned so Arthur's on top - no pun intended, of course.
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