kbah Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 I really could use the advice...I'm hurting. Boyfriend and I have been together two years. We broke up (for about a month) 6 months ago bc he was looking at porn EXCESSIVELY (three times a day every day). It got really bad. I was so sensitive to it that I asked him if he could not look at it at all for a while until I could kinda recover. He agreed. I found out he looked at it a month ago and it has gone to ****s since. Now I have lost all trust. Ok, enough of that (the porn isnt the main point) He has been in counseling and so have I...he has finally admitted to himself that he flirts with girls bd he NEEDS the attention. (something the counselor and him talk about) I have always kinda had a feeling he was flirting excessively when i wasn't around but he assured me he was not. So I believe him. Dumb me. Well now he knows he does and he knows why he watched porn excessively and he has shared with me that in counseling he learned that these two things are just both symptoms of a larger problem he has and it now trying to fix. Ok, I appreciate his insightfulness and attempt to change and all but now I have NO TRUST in him. He has been telling me all along that he stopped the porn and that he was not flirting ALL the time but he really was doing both. Ok, so he knows this is the problem. Then to cap it off- he forgot to pick me up and left me sitting outside my class for fifteen minutes until I called. (he spaced out while watching TV) and then smoked pot RIGHT BEFORE picking me up again an hour later I know he's under a lot of stress...applying to Med School and all,,,but I feel like I just deserve to be treated better. I dont lie to him or firt behind his back....break promises forget our committed plans or put his life in danger by doing drugs right before driving him somewhere... What do you think?
Violet87 Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 The guy sounds pretty unreliable and not trustworthy. It definitely seems like he has a lot of issues to deal with. You said it yourself that you don't have much trust in him and I think relationship are very difficult (if not impossible) to maintain if there's no level of trust involved. If you're not ready to give up on him yet, then I think you should sit down and talk with him on how his actions/behavior is affecting you and the relationship and the problems its causing. If his behavior doesn't change still and if the problem persists, then I think you should cut off ties with him.
Author kbah Posted November 5, 2006 Author Posted November 5, 2006 Violet... I truly appreciate your response. The funny thing is...he normally is not unreliable. Most of the time he would bend over backwards for me and treat me like a princess. (what I deserve..hehehe) But he has done some VERY untruustworthy things and now I don't know how to trust him again. I DID learn to trust him again but he broke it.... I hope I am not trying to rebuild my trust again only to have him break it. I will just stay strong and if he does break my trust again then he will lose me. Thanks, again. Kbah
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