Is it me? or is it them?

[Sidine]

Ok so, as you can tell im new here, first post!

i guess you could say ive come here looking for advice, and to read everyones situations and problems.

 

I have a problem of my own, which im not even 100% sure what it is..

im a 20 year old guy, ive had 3 girlfreinds one of which lasted for allmost a year which was my old school love, first ever girlfreind. my second girlfreind was a Online romance, and very long distance me living in england and her in New York which lasted 4 months. my 3rd girlfreind was my best freind from school, who i hadnt seen since i actually left school.

 

Needles to say all of those relationships finished bad each one hurting me more each time.

 

First girlfreind dumped me becuase she wanted to travel and experiance life while shes young, which i accepted you only live once and i just didnt have the money to travel with her. yes it hurt but i was foolish and only young.

 

Second girlfreind, who lived in New York ...well that ended mainly becuase of the distance, we arranged to meet twice a year for a weeks holiday each time. but it ended becuase she also met another guy that worked next to a Coffee shop that she managed.

 

Third girlfreind, My old school freind ended becuase i found out she was stealing money from me, and pretty much using me as a door mat to wipe her feet on.

 

My problem is after all of these experiances ive lost faith in love, and meeting girls as freinds dates or just to talk to.

a freind told me "Your young, dont let these silly girls get you down, theres plenty of women that are honest, trusting and loyal. and its amazing how you allways manage to not choose anyone but that"

 

Which also made me think, maybe its me? maybe its something i do to make the girl hate me enough to use me for what i have, or be disloyal towards me.

 

Ever since my last breakup ive been very depressed, havent really gone out unless i needed to work or anything i couldnt get out of.

and its kind of made me scared of women, its been a few months since i broke up with my last girlfreind and i thought by now i would have been feeling a bit better about myself, and just able to "Shrug it off" but i cant seem to get the feeling of "What if the next girl i meet does exactly the same".

 

And with that in the back of my mind im too afraid to go up to a girl and talk to them, no matter what the situation is.

 

Well i guess i typed too much

Thank you if you read this, if anyone has been through the same or currently going through the same you input would be much loved.

 

Thanks <3

[melodymatters]

Sweetie, I'm 40 and my " big 3 relationships" all ended poorly. Think about it though, if things didn't get messed up, they wouldn't have ended at all.

 

I understand feeling a bit gunshy. So do I ! But we can't judge everybody in the world based on these 6 people can we ?

 

We just need to make smarter choices next time, be a little more aware of the red flags and march on.

 

Whats that saying , something like Great love and great achivements come with great risk.

 

Good luck !

[Sidine]

Thanks for the reply Melodymatters.

 

I couldnt agree more with what you said below;

 

Great love and great achivements come with great risk.

i have my moments with being Gunshy, usually when im feeling low or looking back on the past which i really shouldnt do.

 

I heard from a freind the best way to make "The first move" is to just randomly smile at them, and well i tryd it today and it was quite fun.

 

I was in my local town doing some christmas shopping, and i thought id just smile and some girl for no reason, so i did, and she smiled back, and every time we passed one another she would smile back a me. i didnt make anything else of it, but it was just nice to smile at some one you dont know!