inde4544 Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 I ave been NC for a little over a week now. I can honestly say it is like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I have no desire to contact her or get back w/ her and I have been going out having a great time. BUT, I still cannot help but think of her. I have had 2 dreams this past week with her in them and I will wake up thinking about her. I wonder what she is doing and if she is thinking of me things of that nature. I am just wondering how long before this subsides. I just want to be back the way I was before I met her and I was not worrying about things like this then that is for sure. I know there is no set time limit but I am just looking for people's experiences and how long it took for these thoughts and cares about the ex to subside. Thanks everyone.
Kelso Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 I'm in the exact same position as you. A little over a week of NC. When we broke up I was quite comfortable with that. Looked forward to be single again until later that day, I realized that I love her so much. I went to her place and told her everything my heart needed to tell her. Still she didn't want to get back together so I decided to go into NC. I had done everything that I could...spoke to her from my heart so the ball is in her court now. I have decided that I'm not gonna contact her until the new year. Then I'm gonna think everythink through and decide if I want to have any contact. However I think about her a lot. She is a person that I care a lot about, but if there isn't anything I can do, I can't stress myself out. If she wants to contact me, then I'll answer...but no contact from my behalf. If you ever wanna call her, just walk away from the phone. Log in to LS and read few posts about NC and you'll probably see that calling her isn't at very good idea...
Guest Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 I'm dealing with the same problem. But in my part, I just told her that I'll be there for her as a friend. But like you just said, the ball is on my ex's court also. It's hard trying to stay away and NC at all but from all the advice I've been getting. Is she really worth it?
Author inde4544 Posted November 5, 2006 Author Posted November 5, 2006 damn I just woke up from another dream w the ex. I am miserable in the dream too. Please stay out of my dreams I am going to have to ask her hahaha.
ralph124c Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 I had a dream about the ex (funny calling her that) last week, in which she was trying out all kinds of knives on my chest, above my heart. She was saying things like, 'this one won't hurt much but will do a lot of damage' (stab, wrench); 'this one will cause a lot of pain but won't leave a scar' (stab, dig) etc. All very calm and practical about it. Not a good sign! But in the end, probably better for the healing process than dreaming about sex with her or something. Our dreams can be wiser than we are! Inde4544, you were miserable in the dream for a good reason, I'm sure.
Author inde4544 Posted November 5, 2006 Author Posted November 5, 2006 hahaha yeah he dream was smart because she made me miserable in real life too haha. I just wish I could accelerate this healing process but I guess it is a part of life.
bchlvr Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 Inde, I too, want to be rid of thinking about my ex. One thing that has been helpful: Instead of despairing and getting down on yourself for still thinking about your ex after X amount of time, ask yourself...do I feel different from how I felt a month ago, a week ago, etc. The answer is probably yes. For me, these small increments, though frustrating and painfully slow, do have their rewards. One reward is that over time, this burden begins to feel less heavy and less constricting. That is a great relief. I wish I didn't think about my ex at all, but I have to accept that's not realistic right now. There are no magic words that will make it go away but with time, she is on the back burner on medium low, rather than on the front burner on high! That in and of itself is a tremendous relief. Also, in the past, I'd be desperately seeking someone new to take away the pain of the ending of the last relationship. Sadly, I wasn't really available to the new person I was dating. This time, I'm trying not to run away. Try to focus on your progress and trust that this "ball and chain" will get lighter. It's only been a week. If this is a relationship you really cherished, if the feeling of loss is greater than you have felt in other relationships, it's going to take some time. You deserve to give that to yourself.
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