hindsfeet Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 here's the deal. i met this girl and we started talking. right off the bat she said that she had been seeing someone else. (before i ever came along) i was cool with that and just told her i didnt wanna pressure her into a decision but just trusted her to be up front with me. last night she went out with him and called me when she got home. she said she knows how she feels about him and wants to pursue him. as bad as it sucks for me, i was like ... okay. i told her that i was cool that and she knows how i feel about her. i just want her to be happy. this morning i go to the studio for a session and she is there. nothing out of the norm for her to be there because it is where i met her but she never goes into the drum booth and also she got there like way early. i go in to the booth and shes there. not wanting to make out or nothing bad like that but just wanting to 'see me' she says. my session starts and she waits on me in the parking lot beside my car to get through. so i thought well, maybe she wants to go somewhere, so i ask her. then she says that she doesnt think it is a good idea to because of how she feels for other guy. so im like ... okay..... again. i tell her ill see her around. she goes to her car and then asks me before she gets in ' can you call me tonight?' what the crap does she want. am i missing something or trying to read into her too much? any one got some words of wisdom, or even stupidity for me? -hindsfeet
roxy_1980 Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 Well, seems to me that she is playing both ends against the middle. She is mostly interested in this other guy, but just in case that doesn't work out she is keeping you close. And on a short leash at that. She is announcing her intentions to you about the other guy, when she knows how you feel about her. It's simply to keep your attention. She wants you to wait while she dates the other guy. My advice: Walk away and don't be someone's second best.
MikeC Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 Damn good advice Roxy. Don't ever deal with a person who is trying to date multiple people at once. Back out while you still can. Cut off contact and I bet she will react accordingly.
Author hindsfeet Posted November 6, 2006 Author Posted November 6, 2006 she called me sunday and wanted to spend afternoon with me. so stupid me goes and meets her. we talked for a long time and then she drove me back to my car. she kept wanting to proling me being there. i told her to figure it out and let me know what she wants but to stop the headgames. to avoid calling and trying to see how she is, i deleted her number. i figure if it is meant to be, she'll call me when she has her head clear. just gonna give her some space so she can figure it out.
roxy_1980 Posted November 6, 2006 Posted November 6, 2006 Just do yourself a favor hindsfeet: DON'T wait around forever. I still think that's what she intends to make you do until she's done with the other one.
gfto Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 Cut off contact with her. If you're the drummer in a band, you ought to have lots of other prospects.
Wantingtogetitright Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 if she recontacts you and she is single then maybe worth investigating, but bear in mind what she was doing with you whilst still seeing someone else. Don't be the person that gives opportunity for an affair to begin. Without someone to go to cheaters could not be cheaters. Stop the cycle.
courtiebelle02 Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 having been on both sides of a situation similar to this, I agree with Roxy. Sounds like she wants to pursue the other guy, but wants to keep you around just in case it doesn't work out. I've had this done to me before and as bitchy as it may seem, I was recently doing it to another guy. I didn't even realize that was what i was doing until my friends pointed it out to me. i wasn't really that into him, but I kept seeing him because I didn't know what would happen with the other guy and I didn't want to be alone. Once I realized what I was doing, and after I saw the other guy again, I felt guilty and I immediately told him that I had feelings for the guy, and we decided to just be friends. So yeah...I think that is totally what she is doing, but she may not realize it or even be thinking about how this is effecting you. I think you made the right decision to delete her number and just see what happens. But remember, you should never be second best
DanielMadr Posted November 8, 2006 Posted November 8, 2006 any one got some words of wisdom, or even stupidity for me? -hindsfeet You are her emotional tampon, her girlfiend with penis. end of story.
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