Dorothy Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 Hi, My name is Dorothy and when I was 15 i married a 25 year old Mexican although my dad said he was after his green card and others that knew him said he was married in Mexico, now im 21 with 2 kids and several lies have came to light his green card interview is a few months away and i dont know what to do i have everyone in my ear telling me just leave hes just using u and will dump u like a hot pancake when he has what he wants and in many ways i get what there saying because a man that wants you to settle for less while he sends his sorry our money to his mother and his family to support them does not love you but im afraid if i do leave him what if im making a mistake what if he really does love me what could i do stay and hope or leave and move on with my life with my kids and the hell with him...
norajane Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 I don't understand, actually. If he's been living with you in the US for the last 6 years, then he must already have a green card. You can't live in the US without one, unless you're doing it illegally. Is he applying for citizenship? Is that what his interview is about? In any case, many, many, many people send money home to their families especially when the families are living in poverty, so you really shouldn't use that to consider whether he truly loves you or not. It seems like an injustice that you have to do with less, but if your parents were starving, wouldn't you do with less in order to help them? It's actually a responsible thing to do - would you rather he forget his family and their poverty while he lives it up in the U.S.? Some men would take that money and spend it in bars and strip clubs and gambling... Consider how he treats you, consider what kind of father he is to your children, consider whether he talks with you about plans for your future together, consider what your life together has been like for the last 6 years and base your decisions on that. In any case, even if he gets his citizenship or whatever, if you're unhappy, you can still divorce him. It's not like his getting his citizenship would prevent that. Why is that such a big deal to you if you haven't given it any thought in the last 6 years? You're afraid he'll dump you so you want to dump him first? If you dump him and he's deported, then his children won't be able to see him anymore. Is that what you want?
BUTAFLY Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 I don't understand, actually. If he's been living with you in the US for the last 6 years, then he must already have a green card. You can't live in the US without one, unless you're doing it illegally. Is he applying for citizenship? You CAN live in the U.S. with a "green card". There are many government programs that allow this. The most popular why is by obtaining a Visa which is typically good for an extended period of time, ranging from months to years (depending on what type of visa) and can be renewed when that time period is up.
miss snoopy Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 Wow didn't realise one could get married at 15! In my country (UK) it's 16 with parental consent, otherwise 18. Why don't you wait it out? And in the meantime prepare yourself for any eventuality. You don't want to make any rash decisions based on a hunch you have, especially when there are kids involved.
norajane Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 You CAN live in the U.S. with a "green card". There are many government programs that allow this. The most popular why is by obtaining a Visa which is typically good for an extended period of time, ranging from months to years (depending on what type of visa) and can be renewed when that time period is up. That's true...I just don't know why he'd have waited 6 years to get a card if he was just "using" her to get a card. They were married and have two kids - he could have gotten his green card immediately after they were married. Maybe it has to do with she was 15 when they got married. I can't imagine how the INS would deal with that.
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