chill chic Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 I was friends with these 2 guys for awhile, one thing led to another & I slept with both of them, but on different occasions. Yes I know...stupid move & believe me, I regret it.But I found out, after the fact, that they both knew each other back in highschool, but weren't really friends. Anyway, they both called me a slut & I think it was wrong of them to say because I was never bf/gf with either of them. Why did they call me that even though I wasn't cheating? Why did they get so mad, but didn't call me their girlfriend or at least make me aware that it was official? Should I never talk to them again? Or would it be odd to become friends again?
Guest Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 may break my bones but names will never hurt me hey, they didn't mind when u were sleeping with them...now they are pissed..... hey u are single....u can do what u wish right? maybe the name callers should look in the mirror
burning 4 revenge Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 No they shouldn't call you a slut, but how many times did you sleep with them. A couple of times in assumptions start to be made on the emotional/intuitive level, even when nothing is said. Yeah, guys have feelings too believe it or not
magichands Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 Yeah, guys have feelings too believe it or not They're just angry that you didn't fall in love with them - that's all. So they hide behind the "slut" comments. I wouldn't consider being friends with anyone that doesn't respect you. Well, you wouldn't really be friends without mutual respect - right?
Adunaphel Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 If one or both of them had feelings for you, I can understand (just understand, I do not mean they had the right to) why they called you a slut. Either out of hurt feelings ot hurt pride. Or to offer support to a fellow guy (in case only one of them was hurt). Perhaps either, or both, just assumed that you were exclusive (one more reason why people should have "the talk") - or just hoped you were about to become exclusive.
alphamale Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 both are just mad because you "used" them for sex and did not want relationship with them. guys don't like the supply of poontang to be cut off
zoidberg Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 In my opinion no guy ever has a right to call a girl a slut no matter how many guys she has slept with or how often. A guy with lots of experience gets called a stud. I don't approve of double standards. On the other hand, I prefer my partners to be discriminating in who they sleep with, just as I am. But I try not to judge people with different sexual values.
magichands Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 A guy with lots of experience gets called a stud. I don't approve of double standards. It's not really a double standard. A man can make lots and lots of women pregnant in a year, but a woman can only get pregnant once or twice. I'm just kidding, of course. Men are mean-arsed bastards.
reservoirdog1 Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 They had no right to get mad at you, or call you a slut. You weren't in a relationship with either of them. As long as that's the case, you can sleep with whoever you want. The problem with a guy calling a woman a "slut" nowadays is that the exact same behaviour he's condemning, he'll engage in himself (or he would, if he could get away with it). Historically, the word "slut" has been synonymous with "promiscuous" -- and yet a lot of the women who get called that nowadays are no more promiscuous than their male counterparts (and often less so). Personally, I don't even use the word anymore really. The only context I see it applying to (and equally to men and women) would be where the sexual activity in question involved cheating. I know that's not the historical or dictionary definition but it's the one that makes the most sense to me in the modern context. I have a female friend who, it just so happens, has slept with several of the guys I know (including me). I don't think of her as a slut -- she's single and this is the 21st century. It's her body, and her choice, and nobody's getting hurt in the process. But, to answer your question: those guys are dicks. I wouldn't be friends with them again.
BubbleBear81 Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 Ya know...no one has the right to abuse (and that these pricks said to you, IS abuse, wether the rest of the world wants to believe it or not) anyone else for ANY reason whatsoever. These guys are just burned, most likely from something else in their past, and not very much to do with you at all.What they pulled shows deep into who they are underneath and that they , well, obviously, need a lot to work on and grow-up. Guys who abuse women are ****ed up and really just dont like who they are on the inside at all. I'm willing to bet they felt threatened by what you did so they take it out on you . It's a funny world, guys can treat women like ****, name call,stare and do all sorts of disprespectful ****, but as soon we do it back or no women gives them the time of day ( gee, i wonder why that may be..?) we are all sorts of things. Im sorry i fail to see where God told us we were to raise them as well? ( can you say NPD?) There is a difference between boys and men. And men don't treat women ( or anyone) like ****. They dont lie, cheat, use, abuse or anything... Boys on the other hand have a tendancy to do such things, because they are weak an dunable to cope with how ****ed up they are inside. Also, newsflash, they will do it to the next girl too. I'ts not you or what you did, its who they are and their tainted perception of life all together... remember that the next time (if there is one..). Next time they say some BS to you, say it back ( or laugh thats even better, because you now know how pathetic they just really are). Don't allow anyone to walk all over you.
Enema Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 Difficult to say if they were accurate in their description of you based only on what you've told us. Perhaps they know something we don't. From what we've been told I'd say you're not a slut. Just a bit promiscuous
Moose Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 Yeah, "Slut", is too harsh a word. Promiscuous, dirty, defiled, stained, unclean, maybe.....but Slut.....that depends on how you carry yourself in all situations.....
magichands Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 I'm going to go with healthy sexual appetite.
Touche Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 And I'll say that you're just not very discriminating regarding who you sleep with. Perhaps you should be a little more choosy in the future?
magichands Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 And I'll say that you're just not very discriminating regarding who you sleep with. Perhaps you should be a little more choosy in the future? I wouldn't pass Barbie over.
Touche Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 I wouldn't pass Barbie over. I can imagine that you wouldn't. I mean you're used to sleeping with dolls aren't you?
Guest Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 They called you a slut because we all become irrational and resort to name calling at one point or another. I have. But, what does it really mean? To you, sex with these guys was just that. Its okay for you to be as promiscuous as you please. However, to them, maybe that fact that you were friends and been for a while, sex was a step into a possible intimate relationship. Sex to them was the underlining meaning that "we" will progress into something new. The idea of "sticks and stones," only can go so far. In your case it sounds like it hurt you alot. It should of, I mean you all invested in one another and the people you care about have the ability to hurt us the most. In a compromising relationship our weaknesses are sometimes their strengths. You know that line from "Jerry Maguire,' you complete me," same concept only its true in real life. What now? You have a choice to move on and let go. Did those relationships really mean something? Are they worth fighting for? If your answer is yes, then be patient and give them time to cool off. You may have to make the first move and call them or write them a letter. Letters are easy to write and very personal. They may just want to know that you care. Most importantly just be honest and open. Tell them what you were feeling. Its hard I know but it will feel like weights had been lifted off your shoulders and all your responsibilities are done. If nothing happens, then it was meant to be. Bottom line is that you have to do what is best for you. You live with yourself everyday and that is who you have to make happy.
Author chill chic Posted November 6, 2006 Author Posted November 6, 2006 Thanks for all your support I was just curious what other people thought, and I thought right. And actually..guy #1 in this situation called me a slut when I was just talking to another guy! So that was WAY off base. Guy#2(knowing he slept with me) called me a slut when he found out that I slept with guy#1. Uh it was drama let me tell you. The only thing is now, guy#1 apologized so I just recently called him. Then he called back again, but I haven't called him in over a week. Because I'm still mad that he called me that, he may not know that, but I didn't return his phone call, so it might tip him off. I feel bad that I initiated contact again, but then when he called me I didn't call him back. Is that mean of me? lol. Oh well, I don't feel a need that I have to explain to him why I didn't call him back. But I don't know what he thought when I called him.
magichands Posted November 6, 2006 Posted November 6, 2006 Guy#2(knowing he slept with me) called me a slut when he found out that I slept with guy#1. Uh it was drama let me tell you. Guys generally don't like sharing. Drama is a nice change from the mundanity of day-to-day life. Luckily you seem to be able to make your own at will.
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