Guest Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 I don't actually know where this belongs, so I'm just posting it here. I hope it's fine. I'm a 17 year old guy and my best friend is a girl (who turned 18 about a month ago). I like my friend a lot. I think she's charismatic, smart, attractive, funny, spontaneous,...etc. She's very responsible and gets along with my parents (very few of my other friends can say that). I think she's really mature, and understands her priorities well. Anyways, we got to talking in a group of 4 people, and another one of them brought up something he heard at a party. Apparently she hooked up with another guy from school (tall, ripped, athletic, pretty much the opposite of me), and also at another time with another of my friends over the last month. I don't know why, but I started feeling really depressed after that. I realized that I'm in a friend zone and have no chance whatsoever with her. I also know that she's not really pursuing a relationship (she says she'll only date people outsider her school and friends' circle), but somehow I felt like I lost something, even though I really haven't. Has anyone else had something similar happen to them? Why am I feeling so bad, especially since this hasn't changed how we are as friends or anything? Thanks for all your help. Please ask any questions if you need any clarification.
PussInHeels Posted November 6, 2006 Posted November 6, 2006 This has only happened to me like a bazillion times when I younger. But it does suck royally. You have a platonic friendship, an innocent caring for a person. And then, because you're friends and spending a lot of time together, you notice things about that person that you didn't before. Like how much they complement you, how kind they are to you, etc. But then, they don't feel the same way and pushing the notion too hard can damage the friendship. You just have to keep in mind you became friends for a reason. Sometimes it's because both people are interested in dating, but due to circumstances, one or both can not. A lot of times, it's because at least one person is not interested (at least not yet), but both like each other's company. Every time I dated a friend, I ended up wishing we had just stayed friends (though that's just me). It's ok to feel sad or a little rejected, but don't let it immobilize you. You're still young, and at some point, this will become a chapter in a lengthy story.
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