unsafe Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 Ok so I've been with this guy for 6 months. I'm in love with him, but there is a big and I mean big problem. We are great when you take the problem away but the problem will never go away because she is marrying his brother. And he some how considers her a friend. So my guy slept with his bros girl. His brother gave him permission. Now she is obessed with him and pretty much doesn't want to let him go. She plays tug a war with him. Since he is spending his birthday with me alone which was what he requested she is all upset and saying she is taking him out (sounded like I wasn't invited). We've been going through this for months. I lived with them but then she kicked me out because her insecruties got to her I think it just got to her seeing me with him in front of her face. He still lives there with her and his bro. he works with her. He said he was going to get a new job and move out. The getting a new job was first but now he wants to wait till the first of the year and moving out has been pushed back to the first of the year. Some Say I should wait and see if it happens and if not then leave. But its a sticky sistuation that is just really really hard to deal with. I can't get it out of my head that he slept with her and its bad because she won't let him go. It's a constant struggle with her. She is marring the bro so why need my guy? This is a question that will never be answered. I think she wants them both and isn't happy unless she has the both. My guy says it would never ever happen again, I want to trust him. I know he cares alot about me. He has pushed her away in some regards he doesn't hang out with her and do stuff with just her anymore. But he still works with her and lives with her. She still struggles, and therefor I'm struggling to understand what have I gotten myself into and is this going to have a happy ending? Should I just walk away? Does anyone have any opinions that might help me to understand what I want better. Thanks
amaysngrace Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 Wow...that's a really tough situation you're in. Have you ever said anything to the girl? Has your boyfriend? How does she react? I don't understand how his brother could marry her, and what was he thinking to let his own bro try her out first? Did he want his approval?
Mythical Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 hmmm your right this is a very sticky situation. I honestly hade to comment but im really not too sure what to say. Im very impressed that you deal with this so strongly. What is wrong with this girl and your boy's brother?!? He let his brother sleep with his girlfriend? Thats just wrong right there, and the fact that your boy did it? (you guys weren't togther thna) but talk about no respect for his brother or the girl. And the girl obviously has no respect for anyone either! Maybe I mis understood this?
Author unsafe Posted November 3, 2006 Author Posted November 3, 2006 yes its a tough situation. Her and I have talked it into the ground. She believe he was her other boyfriend. My guy was. My guys bro was with her for years before my guy had her. Some sick way his brother thought it would be ok. I don't know how his brother is marrying her. I ask him and myself that alot. But people do their own things. Maybe it doesn't bother him. or maybe it does and he doesn't care. I don't know, its one of those mysteries we'll never figure out. I'm scare my guy has feelings for her, probably not like before since we are together but he did, maybe why he can't just get up and leave and stand up for himself and me. She has been a ranging bitch trying to fight with us about everything. She doesnt' want us doing anythign without her. Now that she has kicked me out I dont' have to see her as often but when I'm around she still says things to bother me. Like how she wanted to take him out for his birthday like I wasn't invited. I just don't get it. I think maybe I should hang in there till the 1st of the year to see if he holds his end and moves out and gets a new job, but I don't know? WHat do you think?
amaysngrace Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 This may sound really odd, but did you ever think of doing his brother? Could you possibly? If not, this situation is probably too dysfunctional for you to handle and I would get out of it if I were you.
Mythical Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 yes its a tough situation. Her and I have talked it into the ground. She believe he was her other boyfriend. My guy was. My guys bro was with her for years before my guy had her. Some sick way his brother thought it would be ok. I don't know how his brother is marrying her. I ask him and myself that alot. But people do their own things. Maybe it doesn't bother him. or maybe it does and he doesn't care. I don't know, its one of those mysteries we'll never figure out. I'm scare my guy has feelings for her, probably not like before since we are together but he did, maybe why he can't just get up and leave and stand up for himself and me. She has been a ranging bitch trying to fight with us about everything. She doesnt' want us doing anythign without her. Now that she has kicked me out I dont' have to see her as often but when I'm around she still says things to bother me. Like how she wanted to take him out for his birthday like I wasn't invited. I just don't get it. I think maybe I should hang in there till the 1st of the year to see if he holds his end and moves out and gets a new job, but I don't know? WHat do you think? K this girl lives in a ****ed up fantasy world. He should be standing up for you and get the hell out of there and tell the bitch off! Im sorry to be harsh but if my boy put up with that id be pissed! Why hes marrying her? I don't know he must be absolutely insane Why the hell does she think she should be a part of your relationship its all crazy! Your boy should be standing up for you and the fact that this is very strange I guess you have been dealing with it so it seems a bit more normal to you, but if you want to wait than sure. Are they ever alone in the house? Do you see them flirt? Obviously if she hade the chance she'd "attack" !! ANd im sure her "finance" would probabaly not care!!!! ahhhhhh!!!!!! I hope things work out, you have to keep me updated and let me know what happens If he truely is trustworthly and hopefully has chnaged and wouldn't sleep with family members g/f's than I guess saty with him, otherwise, you need to get out. and why was it her choice to kick you out?
Mythical Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 This may sound really odd, but did you ever think of doing his brother? Could you possibly? If not, this situation is probably too dysfunctional for you to handle and I would get out of it if I were you. lol yea, you should do his brother lol Were you guys dating when your boy did his g/f? i don't think so? How did you find out that this happened?
amaysngrace Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 lol yea, you should do his brother lol It goes with the thinking "if you can't beat 'em, JOIN 'em"
Mythical Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 It goes with the thinking "if you can't beat 'em, JOIN 'em" If I were you and didn't care mch for your b/f (because of thier immature disfunctional situation) i would for sure!!! It would be fun and you can pis her off, and than you guys can live has a happy family! lol j/k
norajane Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 I don't know why you're so confused. If your boyfriend is the kind of man who would have sex with his brother's girlfriend when his brother passes her to him like a piece of pie, YOUR BOYFRIEND HAS F*CKED UP MORALS and beliefs about what is and isn't appropriate behavior toward others. It's because your bf is f*cked up that he chose - yes, CHOSE - to put himself in this situation in the first place, and that he cannot seem to get out of it. Now it's your choice whether this situation is okey-dokey with you, or whether you have a little more self-respect than to continue to waste your time on him.
Mythical Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 I don't know why you're so confused. If your boyfriend is the kind of man who would have sex with his brother's girlfriend when his brother passes her to him like a piece of pie, YOUR BOYFRIEND HAS F*CKED UP MORALS and beliefs about what is and isn't appropriate behavior toward others. It's because your bf is f*cked up that he chose - yes, CHOSE - to put himself in this situation in the first place, and that he cannot seem to get out of it. Now it's your choice whether this situation is okey-dokey with you, or whether you have a little more self-respect than to continue to waste your time on him. 110%! Hope we helped......you should know what to do now
Author unsafe Posted November 3, 2006 Author Posted November 3, 2006 Thank you all! I know what to do! Things will just have to end. No matter how much I care about him. Its not fair I shouldn't be put on the back burner for a crazy women who's been passed around. I found out from her. She told me almost a year ago. Somehow I let it slip throught the cracks at first I liked him so I didnt' think about it. But then she started to pick fights with us and telling me she missed him, as her friend, as the guy who would flirt with her put his arm around her. And I couldn't take it. I've tried to see that my guy is trying to make an effort to get out of the situation but the reallity is he really isn't. He told me that if I can't hang out with her and him his bro....then it wasn't going to work out because they are his family and I have to except that. Which to some extent I understand but he doesn't need ot live with her or work with her so I'm out! She is crazy, he is crazy and his brother is crazy. I think I deserve someone to stand by myside and never let anyone get in between us. Thanks again I feel better about my choice.
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