dazedgal Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 My bf and I have been together for about 10 months. He's 38, I'm 35; he was married for 4 years (divorced 3 years ago), and I was with my ex for nearly 20 years (high school sweetheart who didn't want to marry me after all). So there's the background. We're really happy together -- it still feels very honeymoony even 10 months in. We treat each other with respect and love, enjoy lots of common interests (food, travel, football); he endures my arthouse films, and I'm learning to watch hockey. All in all, it's a good relationship, in sharp relief to both of our previous ones (his wife cheated and left; my ex was a serially cheating narcissist). In the early days, he talked about wanting to get married, and at one point 5 months ago even asked me out of the blue, "So what kind of wedding would you want to have?" Took me by surprise and thrilled me no end, but since that time, the wedding talk has cooled. I try not to bring it up too often, but my biological clock is ticking and all, so I occasionally freak out and we end up in a tense conversation about commitment. He says he loves me more than anyone he's been with, but just doesn't know if he wants to get married again. I understand about being hurt and not wanting to have it happen again, but I also think we could have an amazing life together. I'm blown away by how much I love this guy, and if I were 25, I'd have no problem waiting a few years till he felt ready. But I'm 35 and I don't feel like I have that kind of time to wait around, especially if I want to try for kids. Guys? Thoughts on second marriages and healing old wounds? I'm getting antsy but don't want to give him an ultimatum or even a timeframe (i.e., we need to have a plan by New Year's, etc.) because that just seems weird to me. Any thoughts would be appreciated. thanks, dazedgal
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