Bony Butt Librarian Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 This guy has started to show interest in me, since I've lost about 80 lbs due to kidney failure. I've gone from a size 22 to a size 0, 2, or 4. Now he wants to start seeing me, but I only want to use him for dating practice. I could never be serious about anyone who didn't pay me any mind when I was fat, I am not some boot-licking woman who yearned to be skinny. Hell, I miss my ass. I am still a fat girl at heart. Would it be cruel to use him for sex?
gfto Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 Hell, I miss my ass. That is the funniest thing I've read in a long time! And, sure, go ahead and use him for sex. Life is short.
D-Lish Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 If he's hot, hell yes- use him for sex! Why not! D
dgiirl Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 Would it be cruel to use him for sex? Would this make you feel good about yourself? Using someone for sex?
DanielMadr Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 I could never be serious about anyone who didn't pay me any mind when I was fat. Would it be cruel to use him for sex? OMG. It wasnt his fault you were unattractive. YES UNATTRACTIVE YOU WERE. You maybe thought that people should find someone attractive because of his personality only.....world just doesnt work like this. And honestly you are not Mother Theresa right? Using someone for presonal benefit is always cruel but in this case its mutual thing to do. Just try not to hurt him physically and emotionaly....dont make him think, he sucks in bed and make it clear you two are Fbuddies. Fat girls are frustrated - mean. Now you are not fat....try to get rid of bad attitude. Hope your kidneys are fine. Good luck and dont eat too much of candy
littlekitty Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 Hell, I miss my ass. I am still a fat girl at heart. Brilliant! I don't see an issue with having a F-buddy relationship with this guy. But I do think you'd need to be honest with him about the relationship being nothing more than sexual. It's not fair to lead someone on, even if you feel they've wronged you.
a4a Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 OMG. It wasnt his fault you were unattractive. YES UNATTRACTIVE YOU WERE. You maybe thought that people should find someone attractive because of his personality only.....world just doesnt work like this. And honestly you are not Mother Theresa right? Using someone for presonal benefit is always cruel but in this case its mutual thing to do. Just try not to hurt him physically and emotionaly....dont make him think, he sucks in bed and make it clear you two are Fbuddies. Fat girls are frustrated - mean. Now you are not fat....try to get rid of bad attitude. Hope your kidneys are fine. Good luck and dont eat too much of candy I agree...... I mean if you had a hump on your back and snaggle toothed and he did not feel the urge to poke his weenie in you does that make him a cruel individual........no he just did not have the urge to hump you. Fat, bad teeth, or a hump on your back....... he did not find you attractive. Ask him for FWB deal...... but don't be shocked if he boinks you and you end up with stupid gushy feelings for him.
JerseyGirl24 Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 Hello LoveShack... I've been reading this site for a while, and now its time for my first post.... HURRAY!!! I was in a similar situation. I lost 94lbs over the course of a little under a year... and after I lost the weight and looked FABULOUS I started dating one of my best friends. He was present in my life before the weight loss, and the whole time I was on my diet, yet never expressed interest in me until I was nearing the point of reaching my goal weight. We dated for 4 months, and there was constant looming pressure from him to remain as thin as I had gotten, if not to lose more weight. ...Even despite the fact that everyone else around me told me I was too thin, didn't look healthy, and needed to put on some weight. When we eventually broke up, and it was then i realized how shallow an individual he was. (And I say he is shallow not so much for the fact that he didnt date me while I was over weight, but for the things he said to me while we were dating about my appearance and while we were breaking up) I'm telling you all this because I speak from a similiar viewpoint at syou. With that said I urge you not to get involved with this guy. I would advise only getting involved with him if you can truely stick to your guns and hold your ground when you say you wouldnt want to date him now seriously because he didnt find you attractive before- and if you do hookup with him, you'll just using him for experience. However, depending on how much dating experience you have, or dont have, I am hestitant to believe this will be possible. I do believe that there is a huge chance that this mentality might go out the window after some hookups --as its likely that feelings will start to develop. And from my experience, I dont advise dating anyone now who wouldnt date you before, especially if you dont relate to your new skinny self and miss the curves of your former body. I honestly think its a reciepe for disaster.
Buttaflyy Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 Should you use him for sex? Well, honestly you probably wouldn't be "using" him at all. He's probably interested in sex and if you're willing... Anywho, if it's what you want, go for it. :bunny:
IWalkAlone Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 I find former fat women with this attitude incredibley hypocritical. Do these women honestly show no preference for good looking guys over fat/skinny/nerdy-looking guys? Unless you're one of the few people who truly does not repond to good-looking poeple of the opposite sex, how can you fault people of the opposite sex who respond to you now that you're better looking?
SmoochieFace Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 Hell, I miss my ass. I am still a fat girl at heart. ... Would it be cruel to use him for sex? Certainly not. By all means go right ahead. What the hell... what's the harm in creating another cynical male?
Walk Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 Revenge sex against male stupidity does not work. Doesn't make you feel any better either. I say ditch this guy, and start fresh. He might be easy to attain, but I seriously couldn't be with a guy that once found me gross. I understand people find certain things attractive... but that little voice in the back of my head would always remind me that he used to think I was disgusting. I really couldn't be with someone who used to find me disgusting. That would just eat away at my subconcious. Anyway.. I tried revenge sex. It isn't good, and you don't feel any better afterward. Well, maybe a tiny bit, but definitely not worth it. Well.. then again... as long as you get your cookies, and then immediately boot them out the door, it's not too bad. Oh, and tell him not to let the door hit him in the ass on the way out as you giggle sadistically. But totally not worth it. Especially the shocked expression on his face and the hasty departure. And then the option to drift back to sleep wrapped comfy in your own blankets. Really, it's not all that great. Totally not worth the cheap pleasure you'll get out of it...
alphamale Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 Would it be cruel to use him for sex? no, not at all
Walk Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 I find former fat women with this attitude incredibley hypocritical. Do these women honestly show no preference for good looking guys over fat/skinny/nerdy-looking guys? Unless you're one of the few people who truly does not repond to good-looking poeple of the opposite sex, how can you fault people of the opposite sex who respond to you now that you're better looking? I think formerly fat women have more of a tendency to give ugly, fat, nerdy looking men a chance over women who were never ostricized for their looks. Why is she being a hypocrite? Because she wants to hurt the guy who didn't want her? Isn't that kind of how you operate? You're bitter towards women because they don't seem to want you, but now you judge this lady because she's bitter toward a guy that didn't want her. Or maybe I'm not understanding the definition of hypocrite... Besides.. I don't feel she was really faulting him for not wanting to date her earlier. She's willing to **** him. She just didn't want to "date" him. Would you let yourself fall for a woman who had made it known you were ugly, but after you won the lotto threw herself at you? If the money ran out... she'd be gone. Same with this guy... if this girl ever gains weight, he'll be gone. Why is she a hypocrite?
Buttaflyy Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 no, not at all I think this proves my point...you won't be "using" him at all.
norajane Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 He'd be using you for sex too, wouldn't he? If he wasn't interested in your personality before, then what makes you think that's why he wants to date you now?
beatlebob Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 He'd be using you for sex too, wouldn't he? If he wasn't interested in your personality before, then what makes you think that's why he wants to date you now? Word. Why not hook up with some guy you don't have past issues with?
Adunaphel Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 Hell, I miss my ass. I am still a fat girl at heart. I think it's better to practice dating with guys you hold in better esteem than this one.
justagirliegirl Posted November 5, 2006 Posted November 5, 2006 I think the best revenge would be to string him along and never give him any. Being a former fat girl, I don't think the problem is with the men not wanting to date us but they didn't want to have anything to do with us at all. I was invisible. They didn't want to talk to me or be friends or hold the door open. I was just nothing to them. Not even worthy of a hello. Now they flock around and it is sickening. In my head I'm thinking these guys x number of pounds ago wouldn't give me the time of day and would slam the door in my face or snicker and make fun of me and many of these guys weren't any lookers themselves.
DanielMadr Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 I think the best revenge would be to string him along and never give him any. Being a former fat girl, I don't think the problem is with the men not wanting to date us but they didn't want to have anything to do with us at all. I was invisible. They didn't want to talk to me or be friends or hold the door open. I was just nothing to them. Not even worthy of a hello. Now they flock around and it is sickening. In my head I'm thinking these guys x number of pounds ago wouldn't give me the time of day and would slam the door in my face or snicker and make fun of me and many of these guys weren't any lookers themselves. With this attitude you wont pull much more guys than before You were fat. So you were physically unatractive. You are more attractive now. Enjoy it. Imagine....former fat guy writes exactly what you have written....When I was fat, poor and shy no girl even looked at me...booohooo...if I talked to them they showed me the finger.....blabla.
Guest Posted November 9, 2006 Posted November 9, 2006 With this attitude you wont pull much more guys than before You were fat. So you were physically unatractive. You are more attractive now. Enjoy it. Imagine....former fat guy writes exactly what you have written....When I was fat, poor and shy no girl even looked at me...booohooo...if I talked to them they showed me the finger.....blabla. I think the point that they are trying to make is: It's not just they ' they didn't want to date me - more they wouldn't even speak to me. Regardless of how attractive or not I find someone I at least will say hello and be pleasant, seems to me that some of these guys would even speak to woman that they don't see as physically attractive.
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