Guest Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 My marriage has been very dull for years, particularly since the birth of our 2nd daughter four years ago. But even before the kids, I've always been a lot more active than my wife, which led us to create our own circles of friends. We live in the same city I went to college in, and it's also where she grew up, which means my in-laws are just a mile and a half away. Recently, I caught up a friend who moved away after nearly getting separated. He told me how the move forced his wife, who also grew up here, to get out more, and got her out of her comfort zone. While there were the typical issues with new schools, doctors, etc, he said the move was the best thing that could have happened to them. So now my wife has a job offer in Chicago, and I like the excitement of big cities, so I'm thinking of telling her to take it. Not so much for the job, which does pay well, but because it might get us out of the pattern we're in. Anyone heard similar stories of moves like this improving marriages?
quankanne Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 in particular? No. In general, though, if both parties are up to uprooting and finding someplace new to live, I think it's a great idea. As much as I want to get back to my old stomping grounds because I love the culture of South Texas, I'm glad we've made the conscious decision to stay in this part of the state because I think it's made me and my husband become more independent of our families and work harder at our partnership. And it's been a learning experience for the both of us, to say the least! home is wonderful, but I've always thought people should get away, move away for a couple of years just to have that experience of living elsewhere and discovering new things – it's an adventure that shouldn't be missed, and you'll not have regrets later, wondering "maybe I should have." would your wife be open to living in a metropolis like Chicago? Would she have easy access to get back home if the need came up (weddings, serious illness or death in the family, etc)? If there is enough to appeal to her, like being able to do certain things she can't easily do where you are now, and knowing that she can get back immediately if need be, you might have less resistance than you think – I know being able to drive home in 6 hours has made a difference in my relocating to where I am! if you get a chance, go to the local library or bookstore, or even bookmark websites that show some of Chicago's attractions – it's a great way to help encourage someone's interest.
IpAncA Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 Just because it was the best thing for your friend doesn't mean that it will be a fix for you. In my situation after I got married we did end up moving elsewhere. We don't live anywhere near each others parents or relatives. It was like a new start for us so we were both out of our comfort zone but we had each other and we did make new friends. It was nice to live the way we wanted and it was like a fresh new start without the IN LAWS butting in. Moving is a big decision and it has to be an agreement that both of you want to do. O and BTW it does get you out more because its a new surrounding and it makes you want to drive around and see things.
Flyin in Clouds Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 ... So now my wife has a job offer in Chicago, and I like the excitement of big cities, .... Well it can be good or bad. But Chicago? Maybe if it was Seatle, or San Fransicso or Santa Barabra or ... there are plenty of places more exciting than Chigaco...
Recommended Posts