mrbeantown Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 This is a continuation from my previous post: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t102915/ While we were on a break I would sometimes go over to "our" apartment while she was at work and get some of my belongings ( clothes, books etc..) she was was cool with it considering the situation That I basically had no where to live or to keep my stuff... Before I continue let me just say that I agreed to stay some where alse while we went on this "break" and she could stay in the apartment assuming that I would be back, (She told me she still wanted to be with me, marry me, loved me etc.) but just needed some space. So I left and stayed with friends and relatives. We would occasionally talk and she would tell me she loves me and misses me blah blah blah. But as time went on... (see previous post) Anyways.. when I went over to the apartment I would occasionally use the computer because I didnt have much accesses to one. Not even a week after the break I logged on to myspace under her name( yeah I know thats bad and kind of stalkerish but the computer remembers loggin names and passwords it was hard not to) I checked her in box and there is this guy she had been messaging for days and apparently meet at the bar we frequented. They talked about random stuff he asked her out for dinner, they went for walks, talked on the phone. I was devastated when i saw this, and i knew i couldnt say anything because of the way i found out. I tried to ignore it thinking I was probably overreacting. I find out yesterday from a mutual friend that they are now dating. He isnt just some random guy either, she had a huge crush on him in highschool and used to drive around town with her best friend looking for him. They went on one date in highschool and supposedly it was nothing they just drove around for a while and he took her home and they never spoke again. I remember her joking to her friends about it when we were together. My friend also told me that my ex had no intention on telling me or talking to me about it. Im convinced her meeting him intysed her decision to break up with me and it makes me sooooooooo angry!!!! HOW CAN YOU THROW AWAY SOMEONE YOU LOVED, BUILT A LIFE WITH AND SPENT SO MUCH TIME WITH FOR SOME GUY YOU HAD A CRUSH ON IN HIGHSCOOL? This guy already has the upper hand on her and I am afraid he may minipulate her to become one of thosr "clingy, he treats me like **** but I love him" girls. We still havent talked and I dont know what to do. I never told her how i felt about the break/break up in the first place... now how do I confront this? Is it wrong for me to hope she regrets her decision and gets hurt by this guy? Should I try to contact her? THIS IS THE WORST FEELING I HAVE EVER FELT!! thanks for reading....
quankanne Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 HOW CAN YOU THROW AWAY SOMEONE YOU LOVED, BUILT A LIFE WITH AND SPENT SO MUCH TIME WITH FOR SOME GUY YOU HAD A CRUSH ON IN HIGHSCOOL? easy ... you still have expectations of a long-lost fantasy coming true. And it warps your outlook on things that are real, like your current relationships. She prolly does care for you in her own way, but feels that she must see this thing through with him because she doesn't want to wonder "what if" when she can actual experience it for herself. this is not meant to flame your hurt, but try let you inside the head of someone who lets a fantasy intrude on reality. I'm sorry that you're going through this, and it must make it even harder caring so much for her as you do. Maybe the thing to do is step back and use this time to reassess your relationship with her. I imagine at some point she may want to get with yoiu to talk about the direction of your relationship (it may not be going where you'd like it to, unfortunately), but you will at least be prepared for any outcome. good luck, this is not an easy one to have to figure out ...
Author mrbeantown Posted November 2, 2006 Author Posted November 2, 2006 Thanks man!!! I dont even know who you are and yet you are exactly right.... spot on!! It does suck and I hope some day she relizes what she has done... Can anyone give me advice as to weather or not i should try to get my half of the apartments security deposit and last half of last months back rent. I feel, under the circumstances, I am intitled to it. I dont want it to get ugly buy It would really help me in getting my own place and trying to move on.
quankanne Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 you're welcome. talk to the office manager at the complex and see what needs to be done to get out of your end of the contract. Not sure if you getting refunded is contingent upon your roommate also leaving, but the office people will know.
Recommended Posts