Guest Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 I have some questions for those of you who have been in a rebound relationship soon after breaking up with a significant love... Did you know it was a rebound relationship from the start or were you "blind to logic," so to speak and thought it was the real deal? How long did the relationship last? Weeks, months, years? Did you successfully heal from your significant love afterwards, or did you feel worse off because you never fully "dealt" with it? Answers and advice are greatly appreciated!!
mending_heart Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 I am was the victim of a rebound relationship with a long-time high school crush. It didnt last for very long (3 months) but that may be due to it being a long distance relationship. In the beginning I did not know it was a rebound thing but the truth began to rear its ugly head in time. I personally think doing the rebound thing is not the right path to choose. A person has to come to terms with whatever bad feelings they are harboring because the next person they date exclusively will have to face their unresolved issues, and ultimately get burned in the end. Take for example my past experience of being a rebound. My high school crush was broken up from her last ex for about 8 months (from a 2 year relationship) but still didnt come to terms with her issues. She thought she was over him but was really just boxing up all her emotions hoping they would eventually dismiss. As a result it made her into a person too scared to open herself up to anyone. So generally, its within the person themselves to undo their hurt and eventually come to terms with their past. Having a string of rebound relationships may alleviate some pain (i.e. take your mind off your ex temporarily) but you will be hurting people on this journey of healing. P.S. Yes, i was burned badly but I never got a rebounded to make myself feel better.
luvtoto Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 Did you know it was a rebound relationship from the start or were you "blind to logic," so to speak and thought it was the real deal? No, I did not. I just wanted to feel loved because I was hurting so bad. How long did the relationship last? Weeks, months, years? Year and a half. Did you successfully heal from your significant love afterwards, or did you feel worse off because you never fully "dealt" with it? During. I healed during the rebound. But, once I woke up out of the haze...I realized that I didn't need to feel good anymore by someone else. Then, I moved on and got out of the relationship. My rebound was totally wrong for me. I just was so vunerable when I met him, that I didn't see it.
mending_heart Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 During. I healed during the rebound. But, once I woke up out of the haze...I realized that I didn't need to feel good anymore by someone else. Then, I moved on and got out of the relationship. My rebound was totally wrong for me. I just was so vunerable when I met him, that I didn't see it. Just out of curiosity what made you decide your rebound wasnt right for you (i.e. was it a good relationship to begin with) ? Did he get hurt in the end?
luvtoto Posted November 3, 2006 Posted November 3, 2006 Just out of curiosity what made you decide your rebound wasnt right for you (i.e. was it a good relationship to begin with) ? Did he get hurt in the end? It was a mutual decision to break up. Before we met, my x and his x were having an affair. They both dumped us. Then we had so much in common and were both lonely and hurt, that we hooked up. But, he healed and I healed, and he was a constant reminder of his x, I was a constant reminder of my x. We just wanted a fresh start, so we broke up and never really talked that much again.
PoshPrincess Posted November 7, 2006 Posted November 7, 2006 Did you know it was a rebound relationship from the start or were you "blind to logic," so to speak and thought it was the real deal? I didn't know I was on the rebound at the time, although I knew I still had strong feelings for my ex. Hadn't really given myself time to deal with it. How long did the relationship last? Weeks, months, years? Mine lasted over three years which still amazes me now. Did you successfully heal from your significant love afterwards, or did you feel worse off because you never fully "dealt" with it? I did successfully heal insofar as the new man gave me back a bit of self-esteem, although what he gave me with one hand he took away with the other. I came to realise that he was very controlling. In the beginning it seemed like a good thing as it made me feel wanted. In the end I realised I could've lost my friends (a couple I did) all because I did whatever he wanted me to. Eventually having the courage to finish with him made me a much stronger person so I guess it did me a favour in one way. Answers and advice are greatly appreciated!!
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