missmebaby Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 well i need some advice on whether i should give up trying to get back with my ex boyfriend or not. heres a little background story on us. I am 20, he is almost 22 years old. We were together for a year, and broke up almost 3 months ago. most of our time together was amazing. we were crazy about each other and spent most of our time together. we even talked about moving in together and getting married. towards the end of our relationship like the last month or so we fought constantly and he wanted to spend more and more time with his friends and less time with me so one night we had a huge fight and he told me to get out of his life. we didnt speak for a few days and then he called me to ask if he could pick up some of his things from my house. ever since then we talked almost every day on the phone and i really wanted him back and i was extremely upset and cried and begged for him to give it another chance but he said he was sure he didnt want a girlfriend right now and he is sick of the fighting and wants to spend time with his friends. well one night i convinced him to hang out with me and we had a great time together and he mentioned the idea of getting back together. so for the next week we hung out every day and things were going great. he was affectionate again and told me that he had missed me and if things kept going this way he definitely wanted to get back together. then he suddenly changed and stopped being affectionate and didnt want to see me as much and it caused us to fight alot. then he started to change his mind every other day about what he wanted. one day he wanted to keep hanging out and trying to make it work, then the next day he wanted to either stop talking altogether or just be friends. well i figured maybe i was trying too hard and giving him too much attention and being too needy. so the next time he tried to call me i ignored it and didnt call him back. then he text me and i waited 15 mins before i responded. so he text me again telling me to call him but i didnt so he text me again saying "i take it you're not gonna call me." so i waited another 20 mins and called him back but i was at a party and i said i couldnt talk to him right then so he got angry and hung up on me. 2 mins later i get a text that says "yea you really care about us, i see what you really care about." (meaning guys and partying.) but i didnt even respond back. the next day i finally text him back and said "you see what i really care about?? you broke up with me remember?? im just having a good time." so he immediately calls me and is asking me a million questions about what i did last night and who i was with. he has always been extremely jealous and ever since we broke up anytime i mentioned another guy he would get really mad and jealous. well i acted like i didnt really want to talk so once again he gets mad and hangs up on me. i decided then that i was going to do no contact because i wanted to give him a little time to cool down, think about things, and miss me. so for a week we didnt speak at all. i decided to try one last thing and see if it works. i decided to try to act like i was over him and only wanted to be friends because ive heard that guys always want what they cant have. so one night i called him and we had a friendly conversation where i acted very happy and didnt bring up our relationship at all. i asked him to be just friends and he seemed surprised but said yes. we planned on me coming over the next day to pick up my DVD player i had left at his house but when i went over there he invited me in to talk. he went back to his room and laid in bed and watched TV and i just sat on the edge of his bed and we talked a little just about what we've been doing and i acted really happy and i was making him laugh. well we gradually started moving closer together and after awhile i was under the covers with him just laying there with him talking. i was teasing him and making him laugh and it just felt like old times. at one point we just lay there looking in each other's eyes and he said "this feels like when we first started dating." i tried to leave a few times but he wouldnt let me and by the end of the night he had kissed me a few times. when i left that night he called me right after i left and said he was wondering if i was interested in any other guys or anything because if i was, he didnt want to hang out with me anymore because seeing me tonight made his feelings come back. i told him i wasnt seeing anyone but i just wanted to be friends with him. then the next day i called him and asked him if we were going to hang out again and he said he wanted to but didnt know if we should because everytime we hang out he starts to like me again but he knows he cant be with me because i said i just want to be friends. i just agreed with him and then changed his mind and said he would like to see me the next day. so the next day we hang out and have another great night together and he says something about how he would want to get back together if i stopped talking to so many other guys. but i just changed the subject. when i left that night he kissed me and told me to call him whenever i wanted to talk. so i made a mistake and called him the next day and asked him to do something. but he didnt seem interested at all and said he was going out with his brother instead. so i decided to leave him alone for a few days. after the weekend was over i called him and asked him if he wanted me to come over. he said he wanted me to but didnt think that i should. when i asked him why he said "whats the point?? its not gonna go anywhere, you dont want to be with me. everytime i see you my feelings come back and i dont want to hang out with you when you dont have feelings for me anymore." but i kept asking him to just hang out with me as friends so he finally gave in and said he wanted to see me and wanted me to come over. that night we had another fun night together and i thought things were going better than ever. i hugged him when i left and he said "is that all i get?" so i turned around to kiss him then i walked out the door. he opens the door as im walking to my car and says "call me tomorrow ok?" so i wait all the way until the next night at like 10:00 because i dont want to seem too excited to call him. well we talk for like 5 mins and hes asking me if im with anyone right now and if ive talked to any guys that night or anything. then after less than 10 mins he says hes gonna get off the phone. im very surprised that he doesnt want to talk to me so i ask him why and he says because he doesnt like talking on the phone but says he'll call me in like an hour after his television show is over. so i wait and wait and i get no call. he ALWAYS calls me when he says hes going to. usually never on time, but i mean he never forgets. i know he goes to bed at 11:30 so i wait until 11:45 and i call him. he answers and when i ask him what hes doing he says hes sleeping. so i get kind of mad and say "thanks alot for not calling me back." and he just says "what?? ohh whoops i forgot." so i get mad and almost start crying because i felt like things were going so good and i felt like he wanted to be with me again and now here he is obviously not even thinking about me because he totally forgot to call me. well we get in a fight because he says its stupid of me to get mad and its no big deal, he just forgot to call me and im being immature to get mad about something so stupid. then he says "you're acting like we're together or something." and i said "no im not acting like that." and he said "i remember that one night when i kept trying to call and text you and you didnt want to talk to me." and i said "yea exactly and you got mad at me." and he said "whatever i dont want to talk about this i need to go to bed." so i just said bye and hung up. i laid there and cried and couldnt believe that he was acting like this after how great of a week we had had and how he said his feelings were coming back. so i called him again and said "can i ask you something?" and he said yea so i asked him if he still wanted to be friends and he said "yes i do." and i asked him if he still wanted to see me and hang out and again he said yes. then he said "just call me sometime, whenever you wanna talk." so i said ok bye and hung up. now i am more confused than ever. why the sudden change in him?? by not calling me back was he trying to get back at me for ignoring him that one night when he was trying to get ahold of me??...is that why he mentioned it when i was talking to him?? was he trying to play the same game i am and act like he doesnt care or just wants to be friends so that i will want him back?? or does he really not want to get back together?? i dont know what i should do now. i was thinking about asking him to hang out tonight and have another great night with him, act happy, and make him laugh and then before i leave have a talk with him about how he feels and if he would be interested at all about giving us one more chance. or should i back off for a little while and not call him or anything?? any insight into why hes acting the way he is or any advice on what i should do would be appreciated!
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