Shirazca Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 I have been the other woman for over 5 years now. I know mm loves his wife and family very much. THings at his home seem perfect. Happy, no fights, good lovin he has it all. I have no idea why he has me and it's driving me nuts. He's very good to me, and has helped me through so much. SOmetimes I hear him say to his wife, love you, and make plans with her and it's ripping me apart. I'm so jealous I guess it is. Will I let go of him, no. Getting a little bit of love and attention is better than nothing. I almost wish something would happen, that would force us to end our relationship. I know he will never be mine. But still Crazy women set themselves up to be door mats.
Joelle Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 I don't relate, but I do want to offer my sympathy. I hope the situation gets better for you.
Jane Doe Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 Getting a little bit of love and attention is better than nothing. That's very sad. I really think some counseling would benefit you a lot. When you can get to the root of your low self-esteem it may be easier for you to let this man go. You're feasting on crumbs and thinking that's all you deserve.
bo123 Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 I've been involved with MM for about 2 years...I used to wish that something would happen so the "relationship" would be over. Something big did happened...we got pregnant and our child is 3 mths. We longer communicated. It's a BIG MESS! Please let him go, this is hurting you. My MM was great to me also. Do wait to see his true color, it's not pretty. I know am dealing with the fact that my beautiful daughter does not have a her father in her life. I'm not sure how he can sleep at night. He recently told his W about our baby. She doesn't want him to have an contact with her. I understand that's she mad, but a child is innocence. I'm sooo tired from this whole emotional roaster. I do understand.
hindsfeet Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 what you have is kinda like me with coffee. i dont like the taste of it. really bitter. however, as i type this response im in a coffee shop. drinking a double shot of expresso. why cause of how it makes me feel. i use it to give me what i need or think i need to get me going. the consequences of what your into, however are or can be a lot more than me drinkin coffee. while i risk 10-20 bucks a week and maybe problems from caffeine, your heart is out there. i would highly recommend trying to distance yourself from the relationship and see if it can fade. so you dont get hurt. and maybe move on to a relationship that would really benefit from. thats easy for me to say but it will be hard as mess for you. i understand your attachment, and that brings so much into the picture that you can not explain to someone else. it will eventually cause you to believe that is all the commitment someone will give you. you should treat yourself hw you want to be treated.dont cheat yourself. good luck with evrything
whichwayisup Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 I have been the other woman for over 5 years now. I know mm loves his wife and family very much. THings at his home seem perfect. Happy, no fights, good lovin he has it all. I have no idea why he has me and it's driving me nuts. He's very good to me, and has helped me through so much. This married man you're with is happy because he has two women in his life, meeting all his needs so I'm sure in his mind life is perfect! Problem is, you are not getting what you need, and sadly you never will if you continue to be in a relationship with a married man. Ending it all depends on you! You have control of your own life and if you're unhappy and know that he'll never leave his wife then what is the point of staying with a man who will never "be" there for you the way you need him to be? IS this situation worth it? Is he really worth it? You're selling yourself short! I hope one day you find the strength to end it and walk away so you can find a single man who will love only you. SOmetimes I hear him say to his wife, love you, and make plans with her and it's ripping me apart. I'm so jealous I guess it is. IS staying with him worth it? Again, you're selling yourself short by sticking with a man who is married. Will I let go of him, no. Getting a little bit of love and attention is better than nothing. Is afew stolen moments of happiness worth all this heartache? Go read more posts by OW in this section, find out what you're up against if you continue to go down this path.
stillhere Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 See, i am in a somewhat similar situation. My MM's family life was perfect he told me. I asked him many many times, so why am i in this picture? Midlife crisis? What? He never could answer me. We were supposed to be a FWB arrangement. I got what i wanted and so did he. But it all fell apart when we fell in love. We've been together for little over a year. Now, his home life isn't so perfect. He wishes every day and every night that i was the one he was with. But he's afraid to leave because he doesn't know if i could make him happy. Happy as in forever. Why? Because he thinks with all the attention i get on a daily basis, that i will up and leave him when i get bored, and he will have left his comfortable home for nothing. 5 years is a long time. I'm not sure i could do it! I'm not sure how i got through a year to tell you the truth. This A is pure torture. Right now i'm coping. That's all i can do. I take it one day at a time. I can easily say for you to walk away, but i know it's not that easy because i can't do it after only one year. I think the hard part for me to understand with your situation is that you hear him tell her that he loves her. I have never heard my MM tell his W this, that would break my heart into a million pieces. There is absolutely no hope for you and him to ever be together. You say this yourself. Are you afraid of being alone? Don't you think you deserve more? I wish you luck with your situation, i don't know how you can do it. At least i have the hope that mine may leave, although the chances are extremely thin.
ahotmess Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 I'm not sure how i got through a year to tell you the truth. This A is pure torture. Right now i'm coping. That's all i can do. I take it one day at a time. I can easily say for you to walk away, but i know it's not that easy because i can't do it after only one year. . Coping....this is how we live our lives (as OW) simply coping. There is soo much more out there in life. We are sooo inlove. And those guiltful moments we spend with MM are pure bliss. Atleast mine were. I lived for them. I built my life around them. Around him. I have no regrets. All things happen in time. I am so thankful that I am moving on. It hurts. It is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I miss him soo much. It is like I have lost my best friend, the person who understands me better than I understand myself. I part of my soul is dying. But now I feel free. Liberated. I am able to move on. And u will too with enough time. Good luck.
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