ScaredandWorried Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 My boyfriend and I have a semi-distanced relationship (3hr or so) and I see him every weekend. His ultimate fantasy is of course him/me/ and another girl. I of course told him I would be happy to oblige as long as he didn't expect me to go down on her (kissing, fondling, touching would be ok) Now I'm having a little apprehension regarding it. What if he wants this to continue long term, what if her sees her when I'm not around, What if he doesn't want me anymore? While I don't believe him to be a cheater I can't help but be a little paranoid (ie what if he believes its not cheating cuz we did it together once) The act itself doesn't bother me so much as the worries of what will happen to our relationship afterwards. I don't want this to ruin anything that we currently have. Can anyone offer any experience as to how this has affected things between themselves and their bf/gf? Am I just being silly? What kind of rules are acceptable to have in place without taking the fun out of it for him? He loves me and I know he'd let me back out, but I really would like to make his fantasies come true. Just looking for advice from those who know how it is.
hindsfeet Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 i dont know your level of comitment to him or emotional involvement. and i definitely don't wanna be like a cockblocker for him. but i know from experience, that a third person in the relationship will bring all kind of chaos as far as commitment goes. if he has permission to do it to someone in front of you , with you. what will he be able to do while your away. also, as far as your thoughts. if you have any reservations about yourself at all (even minute ones). the thought life will trace to does he like her more or does she satisfy him more. i wouldnt recommend it at all, just from experience. it hurts all around. is it your desire to have someone love you completely and you know without any doubt that they do?
Guest Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 Okay, I don't want to give you a doomsday scenario, but here's what happened to me. My long term boyfriend had the same dream, finally I obliged, it was a fun time for all. However, then him and the other girl (my best friend by the way) started sleeping together (without yours truly), fell in love, and ran away together. Jerks. My advice? If you're gonna do it, make sure you're prepared for the worst.
Walk Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 Hey... I have some experience with this! not so much the threesome.. but what you're talking about is a fantasy. Fantasies don't live up to reality very well, and I've talked to several guys who will support this claim. Threesomes sound great... but don't usually meet expectations. So the trick is to fulfill the fantasy, without actually ruining it. Meaning... find out what about hte fantasy really intrigues your bf. Is it about power, about the naughty aspect, does it create a feeling of being more manly, play on his ego, is it the aspect of variety..? What about the fantasy really drives him? Underneath the actual act of it... Not sure how to describe what I'm trying to get at... I guess what I"m getting at is that you probably wouldn't have to go through with a 3 way (unless you want to.), but you could fulfill aspects of that fantasy and still make your bf very happy. Maybe you could get a video of a lesbian porn, blind fold him, and tell him he can't move. Then play the sounds from the porn (so it sounds as if there's more than one woman there) and go to town on him. Using both hands and mouth and "other" parts to caress/rub/and excite areas of his body. or you could try a more verbal approach to it. Like when you two are in the middle of sex, start talking dirty about a three way, like... "God honey, I want to see you **** suzy while I play with myself." (sorry if that was graphic.. ) Or comments like, "Your d*ck is so huge you could satisfy two women." Or "You need two women to satisfy a man as great as you." Maybe it won't work, and he's got his heart set on the actual reality of it... I think he'll find it isn't as "great" as he thinks it'll be. And if I were you, I wouldn't want to be a part of that at all. I'd get far too jealous, and I don't think I could ever work past that jealousy afterward. So for me, it wouldn't work... It might be different for you. But you'd have to decide that. But don't be afraid to tell him that the reality is not something you feel comfortable with, but you'd be happy to help him live it out in the fantasy realm. And see if he'll discuss options for how to do that with you.
Recommended Posts