Guest Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 I have been an OW before to a married man but this is different. Although he is not married, he is living with the mother of one of his children. I worked for a short period of time with this male and we became friends...but more like a brother and sister...nothing romantically or sexually involved. In fact, he is black and I am white. I never dated outside of my race and it has always been totally against my upbringing. I transferred away from him and that is when we began emailing and calling one another. Over the past month and a half, we have grown extremely close...even becoming engaged in sexual activity. We share many of the same goals, likes, dislikes, and invision our future in the same way. I have never known a man like this in all of my life. I have told myself since my divorce 7 years ago that I wouldn't "look" for another man...if it happened, it happened. I have loved since that time so I know what to look for and what NOT to look for. Well I think it has happened and I think I am in love with this man. I believe he feels the same way. He is unhappy in his living situation with his live-in girlfriend. Although their combined income is plenty, they are in debt and can barely make ends meet. His girlfriend recently came across my phone number when their cell phones became disconnected but she has yet to discover my identity. He told me he has come to a crossroad in his life and needs to make decisions. I am contemplating offering him to move in with me as a way to see if things will work and get him on his feet if leaving her is what he really wants. I intend to move out of the City next June and I figure if it works, he can join me or go his merry way at that time. Should I offer or just leave it all alone? I need some advice..........
norajane Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 I have loved since that time so I know what to look for and what NOT to look for. One thing you should have learned is to NOT get involved with people who are married or living together or in a relationship. Yes, you need to drop this. Do you really want to move him into your house, take on his debts and problems, only to find out years from now that he's cheating on you with someone else and telling her that "he is unahppy with his living situation"? Let him take care of his own problems with his girlfriend and with his debts. Get on with your life without trying to draw him into yours.
BUTAFLY Posted November 2, 2006 Posted November 2, 2006 DO NOT move this man into your home. He is hoping your going to ask him that so he can get out of his situation. If he wants to brake it off with his girlfriend, let him, and let him stand on his own two feet. DON'T bail him out of anything...I don't care how much in love your in. It will be a big mistake that you will regret. Baby momma drama, child support, her calling and coming over. Him going over their for the child. He's going to start asking you for money and things because he is in such debt. HE will suck you dry. He is just waiting for the opportunity.
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