lukin004 Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 [COLOR=black]Alright so here is my story. A year and a half ago I met the most wonderful woman that I have ever met, and I fell in love. She was everything that I ever wanted in a partner. I'm in North Carolina and she lives in Mexico. I work in Mexico once a month and we met at the place that I work. We started a long-distance relationship and everything started out wonderful. The distance was hard at times, but I was confident in what I wanted and I thought she was too. About a month ago she broke up with me, but was not a confident break up. We were talking about getting married and I had started saving for a ring. She is going to school there and I agreed that she should finish before we were married, and I would wait until she completed her dream. She broke up with me, almost unexpected from me. I really had no idea. She wanted to end it with me because she couldn't cheat on me with another guy, which I still respect. She says that this new guy and her have chemistry, and the same goals in life, but these are the same things that she said to me in the beginning of our relationship. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]In the breakup I heard from everyone else that she had a new man, and because she was not completely honest in the beginning, I assumed that she was cheating on me. I said something’s about her that she didn't like, and I probably didn't mean, but I was hurt. She forgives me for this and we started acting like adults after a week to calm down, or a week for me to calm down.[/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]She calls me last night to talk, and I welcomed it because I had a lot of answers that I wanted to get clear. I got my answers, but I'm more confused now than I was before. She tells me that I'm the most important person in her life, I'm the only man for her, I'm the only person in her heart, but unfortunately she met this other guy. She says that she was never in love with me, but her feelings for me were stronger than I knew. I told her that my opinion about the feelings that she had for this new man are just lust, and he has something that I'm lacking. She says up until she saw this guy, she was completely happy with me. I even asked her if she had to choose last night me or him, she said she would choose me, because she was confident in my feelings for her. She asked me what she would have to do to re-gain my trust in her and I said she would have to give everything up, including her school and move here with me to North Carolina. Even if she did this, I told her that the trust would not be the same, but I would know that she was committed to me and the trust could come back with time. [/COLOR] [COLOR=black] [/COLOR] [COLOR=black]I'm not sure what to do, I love her, but I feel like she's never going to love me the way that I love her. I always hoped that with time she would see these feeling for me, but the distance never helped. I want closure and the ability to move on, but I can't knowing that she has doubts about her decision.[/COLOR] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
Ariadne Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 Hi, I want closure and the ability to move on, but I can't knowing that she has doubts about her decision. If she loved you she would have no doubts. She'd know that she wants to be with you and nobody else. So, I think it was close but no cigar. Ariadne
spider_freek Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 hey lukin004, I am in a similar situation to you, but also very different. For a start, I have never met the girl that I like so much and it is for this reason that I cant say I love her. I like her a lot and I would probably love her if I got the chance to meet her. Weve known eachother online for about a year now, she lives in Chile and I live in the UK. From the very beginning we have both been very clear and open with eachother about our emotions, it has always been clear that I liked her a lot more than she did me. She finds it harder than I do to have feelings for someone over the internet. The prospect of us ever being together have always seemed slim. Until recently, when I finally managed to persuade her why us being together wasnt an impossible idea and she seemed genuinly enthusiastic about the idea. She has always said she liked me a lot and has said that distance was the only thing that has prevented us from being together. Now the dreaded moment I have always expected has come, she has met a guy. Despite the fact that he is not better than me, he doesnt share the same interests as her to the same degree that I did... he has something I dont.. which is regular and face to face communication. Hes got the upper hand, she has confused feelings for him. She says they are nowhere near love, she isnt even dating the guy but she is considering it. She wants to be with me but obviously not enough to wait till we can meet, which I hope we will whether or not it ends up in a relationship because she is a great person. To confuse things even more... I thought she liked me more than this guy, but when I asked her if I was better she said no. She didnt say she liked him more, but I still expected that she considered me better given our similarities. It just goes to show how important a close regular face to face relationship is especially, it seems, for women. I know that your situation is probably a lot more complicated and serious than my idle infatuation with this girl, but I fully empathise with your situation.
Recommended Posts